I think my gf might be pregnant. Please help.

I'm 19 years old, and if my gf is then I will take care of my baby.

Andrew, if you are in the USA, it takes $1000 a month to take care of basic child needs. I doubt you have a job that will support a mother and a child. I also doubt your girlfriend is pregnant based on what you told us. However, to AVOID getting pregnant or an STD you both need to learn more about your bodies. You may be old enough to make a child physically, but you are far too young to raise a child. As a 19 year old you should be having fun, going to college, planning a career doing something you are interested in and having the freedom to explore the world with no strings attached. A child would end that for you and your girlfriend. There is a time to start a family, but not at your age. Go and get the information you need to prevent trouble in the future.

I still think you should talk to a real person, but here is a website I think can help you:
Planned Parenthood/Teen Sex & Health

I got a job, and it can support my monthly costs if she is. I do live in the USA. But, I am doing something with my life, I am going to college this coming fall to finish up my computer training. I got a years work already, I'm just going to go back and finish it. Today she kept telling me that she was eatiing all the time and she was hungry alot today. Which I still doubt she is pregnant.

I don't get it...

If you want a kid, why do you need help if your girlfriend is pregnant?

Shouldn't that be good for you? Why are you worried?

If your reaction is, "Help me!", then maybe you need to reconsider some choices and options here. Just sayin'.

Best of luck. Stay safe.

Well stated, smog.

Seriously, the eating thing means nothing more than she was hungry on that given day. I have been with the same person for almost 9 years. There are times I swore she was pregnant. I was even more certain when she ate heavily (and bizarre combinations) for a several day period. She still hasn't got pregnant.

Smog & Soz, I think you may be offbase here. When Andrew began this thread, he was asking for our help answering a question. He wanted to know if it was possible for his girlfriend to get pregnant when he didn't come inside her. That's the "help" he was asking for. (And received.)

It was a good question. I had the same question myself when I was his age. I just wish I'd had a resource like A2K to ask, instead of sweating bullets for several weeks until my period came.

Andrew, an increased appetite at this stage means nothing. Even if she is pregnant (which is unlikely), it would be another month or two before she'd start wanting more food. (Another good question, by the way.)

Let's not automatically slam 19-year-olds for having sex and not being totally knowledgable and prepared. After all, I'd hazard a guess that most of us started out just like this. It is to Andrew's credit that he wants to take responsibility for any unplanned consequences. He has a job, he's starting college in the fall, and he has a girlfriend he cares for very much. Actually, that's pretty responsible for a 19-year-old guy.

You sound like a great young man, Andrew. Keep asking those questions!

I agree with Eva...it is a responsible thing to ask.



But there has been one point left out...

Andrew...the minute you enter your girlfriend, you are releasing sperm..a small amount, but yet...you are still releasing sperm.

It still sounds to me like he was looking for more answers (and wanting more help) than a simple pregnancy test could provide.

(I base this statement on a simple hunch more than anything else.)

I think it's sad that kids don't know the facts about sex. I don't blame andrew, it's not his fault. A kid doesn't know what to ask and often is too embarrassed to ask before its too late.

But I've known people who think that douching after sex will keep you from getting pregnant or that if you are on your period you can't get pregnant. Stuff that isn't obvious but still isn't talked about.

In either case, you are 19 andrew. You are not ready for a baby. You are not ready to be married. As much as you think you may be. You haven't finished college yet and you can't even drink at your own wedding.

If you love your girlfriend so much, take some advice and wait. Love waits. And being legally married, while wonderful, is simply a bit of paper. The real deal is the committment you make privately to each other. And that (IMO) should be established before the actual marriage takes place.

Invest in some contraception (both of you) and don't put yourself or your girlfriend through the worry of this again.

I know what that worry feels like, and it ain't pleasant if you haven't planned to have children. It's easy to get caught up and carried away when the mood takes you, but it's spoiled straight after by thinking how stupid you've been. Don't line yourself up for it.

Eva, thank you very much. Everything she said is true. I make around $1300 a month. I'm going to college to finish my computer training. Once I finish that, I can find an even better job, and start my career. I'm ready for anything that happens unplanned.

$1300 a month to support you, her and the baby?

Hm. I hope you live in an area that has low cost of living.

so andrew....have your determined if she's preggers?

Not yet, and yes I do live in a area where it's a low cost to live.

I think it's great that Andrew's found a safe place to ask questions and vent his anxiety while he waits. At his age, I didn't have that. I agonized in private and developed migraine headaches.

$1,300/month is not enough, Andrew. And if you plan to return to college, you won't even have that. You'll have to depend on your families or quit school. And both of you will have to work.

Let's all cross our fingers & toes with Andrew that his girlfriend does not turn out to be pregnant! THEN we can talk about contraception/abstinence/financial planning.

Thank you, Eva. Right now, I'm just still waiting to see if she is, and I want to keep this topic alive, so I can keep the updates coming.

At $1300 a month, you net (I am assuming you are netting 1300) $15,600/year. Houston TX has one of the cheapest COL's in the US as of 4Q'05. (I know, who knew!) Just a little tidbit there....anyway....

Say you an pay incredibally cheap rent of $500/ month. Add in $100 for basic utilities (H2O, electircity, gas, trash pickup).

That puts you at $600, leaving you $700 for everything else.

Do you own a car? Figure gas at $20-$40 a week, depending on where you drive. We'll go with $30/ week to go easy on you ($120). That puts you at $720 leaving you $580. Do you make a car payment? Add that on if you do. And if so, you are pretty close to not making it already.

Do you want groceries? Figure at least $200 a month for groceries ($50 a week is extremely modest for 2 grownups and a baby--this includes househould items such as cleaners, toilet paper, tissues...) Plue the $40 a week for formula ($120). That takes us to $1040 month leaving you $260.

Diapers run about $15 for 30 and you'll use 7-8 a day so figure $60 a month for diapers. So now we are at $1100 with $200 left.

Do you want cable? Internet? Phone? Tack on about $125 for those. (maybe a few bucks less) That leaves you with $75.

Plus, don't forget wipes, teethers, clothes, bedding, shoes, rash ointment...all those fun baby items.

And that is not including anything for you or your gf. No extras. That is assuming no car payment, no credit cards, no student loans to pay. That is assuming that you basically have no debt at all and could live pay check to pay check like that.

I am sure i am forgetting something but as you can see, $1300 doesn't go far.

Yes, I hope Andrews GF is not with child.

You know though, this got me thinking....

How much DOES it take to get by?

I think it'd be interesting to figure an amount.

Now, I'm not talking about Andrew per se since he wants to go to college, but let's take someone that age who makes $1300 after taxes a month. Let's say he's the sole earner (at least for a while), and has a young bride and baby.

A couple of ground rules, so we're on the same page.

They rent a one bedroom apt, because let's face it, lots of families have grown up with one bedroom for the parents, the baby sleep in a crib in the room when he's small, then maybe a cot under the sofa when he's older.

Let's not make like this is some sort of depravation, most people on this planet would give their right arm for that. Bottom line is a roof over their head, some furniture to sit on, and pots and pans.

Food - People have lived on beans and rice for thousands of years. Home made ice tea is a penny a glass. Fresh vegetables in season, apples that are maybe too small to call grade A cheaper, bits of chicken to mix into your meals. It can be done. Eating convenient foods with preservatives is what causes our "rich" people to get dreadful diseases.

Car - do they have/need one?

Electric/utilities…What did people do before air conditioning? Yes I know apartments aren't conducive to cross breezes, but not everyone lives in OK or Tx BTW Andrew, where abouts DO you live? How much does an apartment cost?

Not advocating not using A/C, or heat if you live in Minnesota, but I'll put on an extra sweater before I turn up the heat.

Speaking of sweaters….Thrift stores, goodwill sell clothes for babies and adults.

For entertainment, do we need iPods, DVD's so we can sit and be entertained?
Library books are free for the lending. Card games, board games, trivia, jigsaw puzzles….there's hundreds of ways to pass the time, and those listed above encourage communication between people.

Up to this point, I can honestly say I can envision a family living this way, and being quite happy.

Now, getting to the diapers medical stuff and insurance with a baby, which I don't know a thing about. Help me out with this. Oh and I know emergencies happen, but what's the basic costs, assuming mommy breast feeds and is eating well herself….What are some amounts that are not counting in brand new anything. Diapers? Do people still use them? How much are disposables?

Let's throw some #'s around.

I don't know where he lives (at least not yet), but let's say $500 for an apt.
Food? $300 a month. Utilities, including phone $200. That leaves $300 left.

Maybe mom trades baby sitting duties with a neighbor, so she can work a part time job. Or maybe HER mother or the husbands mom can/will help out.

Let's discuss, it'd be interesting to see what some consider "must have's"

Andrew, can you get us some figures of what stuff costs where you life?

Well, I've added it all up, and it will cost $1100/month. For gas, food, car, rent, diapers, medical stuff and everything.