Lola's Salon

Bill here's your branch water, hell have the whole tree !

Love that sap!

Sap's rising, look out ladies !

Lola takes a break from the card game. She's lost her shirt, and decides to take a time out before she loses her skirt. She's an exhibitionist, ok, but really enough is enough.

HIAMA? Did you order these fans? You little darling you. <Kissing HIAMA on cheek> Now, we don't have any black mold around this house, so what are they for exactly? And we all know that you prefer to swim to the salon, but not everyone here is in as good shape as you are, darling.

Fatima, look at you wearing that nice hat with the Cheshire cat on top. Isn't that sweet, they love each other.

Look out fire in the hole!!!!!!!!!!

Who said that? No, no, HofT. I can't play that game anymore. I'm a novice and I'm being taken advantage of. (Preposition ending that sentence.) How about if we all take a swimming break?

BillW, put that tree down and you and Stradee put on your suits. We've gotta change the subject around here.

Knock, knock! May I come in? I've brought a magnum of bubbly, if anyone is interested...and roses for the hostess, of course!

<HofT, who's just come back from all-day meeting followed by dinner, and has to wake up again at 0430 hrs EST, sits by the fireplace in Lola's Salon to sort out her paperwork for tomorrow; Withers appears at the door bearing an antique silver tray with a card on it, coughs discreetly, and says:>

"Begging your pardon, Madam, but since Ms. Lola has retired for the night, would you be so kind as to advise about a newly arrived visitor?"

Picking up the card idly, HofT glances at the name: Visitor, with address given as Out There.

"Is there an introduction, Withers?"
"I believe, Madam, that Mr. Joe Nation, an old acquaintance of Ms. Lola's from her Cafe days, asked Mr. Visitor to - ahem - visit."

HofT immediately goes out to the entrance hall, sees Visitor standing there awkwardly holding a bouquet of roses and a carefully gift-wrapped bottle, and says:

"Do, please, come in and sit by the fire, Visitor! Withers, please put those beautiful roses in a vase - Ms. Lola will be glad to see them tomorrow; perhaps you'd better leave that bottle gift-wrapped for now, since it's a present for her. And please ask that one of the bedrooms upstairs be made ready for Mr. Visitor."

"Very well Madam", says Withers, departing.

<having made sure Visitor is comfortably seated by the fire, a drink in his hand, waiting for the hostess and other guests to appear, HofT excuses herself and disappears into fog covering the Potomac <G>>

Lola walks down the stairs in her bathrobe to check on the house before finally going to sleep. She does this every night, to make sure every one is taken care of and the house is secure. It's not that she doesn't trust Withers, Jeffers and Fifi, it's that she likes the feeling of collecting herself in her house before relaxing and falling into sleep.

As soon as she steps onto the landing, she can see her friend Visitor sitting in the big leather chair by the fireplace, beside him a half full cup of warm milk. He's sleeping, having drifted off while thinking of his trip from Out there. He looks content and peaceful, but Lola knows that the salon will get cold when the fire dies down and so she rings for Jeffers to help Mr. Visitor up the stairs to his waiting guest room. As visitor picks up his milk, he sees Lola and tells her about how gratious HofT has been and how she greeted him, but now she has gone out. He tells Lola about the roses he's brought and the magnum of bubbly.

"Why, thank you, visitor,"says Lola, "we'll have a drink of this in the morning for breakfast. And I'll have Fifi bring the roses to my room. Welcome, visitor. You've come a long way from Out there and we're glad you're here. Enjoy your rest."

Trevor, who has tucked himself away in the study while, outside, the finest of old friends have shared bubbly, removed important items of clothing, committed facial hair-avoiding kisses, and marched stoically into the Potomac wisps, shuts down his IE link to the BBC and sighs, tired beyond tired with war. A quick check of email finds one letter and two unsolicited invitations - the first "trevor-on-ascot...Get Newly Baptised or Burn Forever" seems only slightly more compelling than the second, "visit dirtydolphins.com".

Hiama still on his apprenticeship as the Salon stud is fed up of English women, in the sense that carnally he has just about known them all. So he seeks coition with some lovely North American ladies, he visits his favourite web site Distort a President today !, which so affects his libido that he has a cup of tea and sits down to do the Times (of London) crossword.

Meanwhile Blatham can be seen cavorting with the dolphins, Hoft is flying blind in the fog, Lola is dreaming of clouds made out of cotton, Visitor is watching me write this and thinking this is one strange place, I wonder if I have time to do a moonlight flit before anyone notices. Slowly the sun rises in the er um lets see that would be the East and before he is vaporised Hiama climbs back into his coffin.

"Good morning, All!" Visitor says from the top of the staircase. All are shocked to see a gorgeous, strawberry blonde in a red silk robe. "Are the mimosas ready?"

"Bbbbbbbbbut..." the group stammers.

"Oh, don't worry about it. I looked a fright last night when Withers let me in out of the storm. It was probably the wet hair and rented tux that made you think I was a man. I simply love renting tuxes for opening nights, don't you, dearie? Free tailoring! And Lola, I see you've put my roses on the hall table. I'm so glad you like them! I grew them in my own garden..."

My libido is back ......

Where did it go?

Is that the handy portable pocket size libido or the new improved family sized libido ?

I see a duo-corn up there, so it must be the family size!

Well, well, I take it the gentleman with all the bulging muscles over there must be Hiama. Your reputation precedes you, sir! What is that you say? But of course I will pour you a mimosa! I'll set it right here on the writing table by the window.

(Hiama steps over to the sunlit window for his drink and...pfffft!...he is immediately vaporized.)

Lola dear, this seems to happen to him a lot, doesn't it?

A bevy or 2 over the top & a certain someone is 1 can short of a candelabra.

Lola, being a late riser, descends the stairs and is offered......by Withers, a nice big mimosa to start her day. She doesn't really mind that it's already 6:30 pm. She's had pleasant dreams. One she especially likes involved a certain gentleman who seems, sometimes to live in the library. A pleasant, long dream...........or was it a dream? Lola isn't sure.

Visitor is sitting with a strawberry blonde woman, beautiful and charming. They're sipping mimosas and talking, looking intently into each other's eyes. The woman mentions the roses in the vase and tells Lola she grew them herself.

As Lola approaches her chair in the Salon, she notices a small pile of ash on the floor, but the window.

HIAMA? Is that you?

Looking at visitor, she says, "has HIAMA been at it again? When will he ever learn? It must be his libido again. Withers? Withers? Would you please ask Prudence to sweep HIAMA up into a dust pan and but him into his urn where he can wait for the next 'Chronosynclastic Infidubla?'* In the last one, all things wrong were made right (also upside down). Jello set even with fresh pineapple. Politicians were all rendered mute......(this one Lola especially liked), Stevie Wonder got his drivers license and Leona Helmsly worked as a maid in a Super 8 Motel. Until then, may he rest in peace."

As Withers scurries off to find Prudence, BillW, old and new and Danon let themselves in the front door. They're hungry and agree to have breakfast with Lola and the others. They hold a chair for HofT in case she arrives and Diane, Fatima and Stradee drift in from the gazebo, where they've had champagne and caviar. Lola looks from time to time at the window. She seems to be hoping someone will arrive. Jeffers lights the candles on the dining table and breakfast is served..........

*a literary creation of Dyslexia's on the Alternating Male and Female Story thread.

Don't worry about HIAMA, old and new.........he's always been this way. It's only recently that his condition has gotten so bad.

"Lola?" Visitor asks. "Are you feeling well this evening? I do believe you've had another of those disturbing hallucinations. I had a feeling you didn't recognize me last night in the library, but I thought you would be better after a few hours' sleep...

"Here, have another mimosa, dear. I am here now. Remember all those times in Miss Cornwell's school when you thought you saw people who weren't there? And remember how I always saved you from embarrassment in front of our classmates? I used to tell people who came to our room that you were having a migraine until these spells passed.

"That's right, sweetie. It has happened again. There is no gentleman in the library. It's just me, Portentia, your old roomie from finishing school. Now drink your mimosa and lie down here on the recamier for a while.

"Bill, would you take one of these damask napkins and dip it in some ice water, please? That's right, just put it here on her forehead. I'll be right back. I need to change into something more appropriate for dinner. Goodness me, I've been in this robe all day! I DO hope you don't mind if I borrowed it, Lola. I found it hanging on the door of the armoire."

Visitor heads for the stairs, plucking a single coral rose from the bouquet on the hall table, sniffing its fruity aroma, then placing it behind one ear. Perhaps she can find something scrumptious to wear in Lola's closet. Lola always had such style.