THE TIGER

About what?


I think you have me confused with Gus. We do look kind of alike though and we both seem to like sheep (although apparently he "likes" them a little more than I do) so I can see how you'd make that mistake. Lots of people do.

I'm sorry Becksie-

I just can't get my teeth into that post I needed time to think on.

But,it's only polite to try if only to provide you with a bit of inspiration.

"Lezzo" is the usual term in my milieux. There's nothing disrespectful about it. It's just shorthand. Disrespect is in the actions covered not the words used to signify them.

I like a lady who shreds men's reputation. I have little doubt he deserved it.

No. I don't check men over visually. It's different with ladies though.

The rent must be a lot though. She must be rich. And I've been looking for a female scientist for ages to test out a theory I read about once which didn't seem credible. A "no nonsense" style is mandatory. And she does sound imperious.

I didn't say I liked fat women. All I said was that it wasn't a disadvantage unless, of course, one would need to hire a crane to turn her over. I'm not keen on skinnies though. They rattle too much.

3-400 yards of a drive eh? That sounds good. Any potholes. My bike is a lightweight racer and potholes are unsuitable for very fast pedalling.

If you could get me in there Becksie I would pay her back for the callous way she treated you.

Why would you assume that?

But of course.


You might be surprised. I sometimes am.

Yeah, maybe. She might have patented something. But she didn't have any furniture- at least in the rooms I saw when I stood at the door to call to her to tell her I was finished.
Somewhat - but more no-nonsense and matter of fact. As if she's used to having what she says goes- no questions asked. She didn't have a high-falutin kind of deameanor or haughty. Just really kind of cut and dried. (There's a good word to use in your limericks... "high falutin." See, I'm always looking out for you Spendius - trying to help you out - not that I think you need it or anything....)

No, she definitely was still able to be mobile. Just kind of short and stout.

I know what you mean. When my daughter sleeps with me every once in a while - her sharp little elbows just jab into me. She's still pretty skinny and just all angles.

Yes, a lot of potholes. You'd have to go slow and steer carefully. Lot's of zig-zagging.

Why don't you come gardening with me? Check her out. I don't need payback though. I'd want you to do whatever you do for your very own pleasure Spendius. Like I said before - you don't owe me anything.

Talk about consistency.

If you're talking to me Spendius - you'll have to let me know which lovely things you want repeated- the part about the sharp elbows, the potholes, the payback or the fact that you don't owe me anything?

If you leave it totally up to me I'll probably pick the wrong thing. I can always use your guidance - you know that.

Becksie wrote-



He had obviously failed her.



Last Tango in Paris eh?



There was a young woman from Tooting
Who some thought quite high falutin
She snagged on a crack
And fell on her back
As if she wanted a rooting.



Dumpy.

Does she know she's famous on the www?

Have you heard her say "diaper". That's a real grater in American.



Piece of cake.



I would avoid that sort of thing. Too defensive. Spoils the tone. What does it get you? Anyway--I do owe you something. You're one of my playmates.

I have a fascination with country mansions and imperious ladies. Such things are central to the book I have in my head that I'm too lazy to write.
A bigger mansion than that one but it might help. Are you going back?

But maybe her expectations were unreasonable.



Or she just wasn't into comfort. Or maybe she didn't spend much time at home. Who can know?



or alternatively, "and fired back with both guns shooting."



That about describes it.


She is - how do you know? What's her name? I'll google her.


The worst is "France". I am so conscious of my short a's now. I have to hand it to you Brits - you pronounce your vowels so much more melodically than we American's do. You also are much more cognizant of pronouncing your consonants more distinctly. You say "but-ter". We say "bud-der". You don't, however pronounce your final er's. You say things like "fath-ah" instead of "father". Except in Somerset - where they really come down hard on the final er's like "fatherrrrrr"

Oh good, so you'll be able to handle it then.
It got you to admit I was one of your playmates. That's so sweet Spendius. See, I knew I was good for something around here.


I haven't decided. I might feel like I should to help out this friend of mine - but on the other hand, blimey - I have three jobs now. And I'm not good at putting up with **** from people. Plain and simple. If Carol goes with me - I might go to help her - but no, I don't think I'll pursue it on my own.

The self gratifying ego oozing out of you two idiots is well beyond my stomachs capabilities of acceptance.

Good!!

It's a strange word to use that Spendius.

One word with so many meanings, would you care to explain with a little eloquence, panache even, exactly what you meant by good.

I suppose you could have been interrupted in the midst of a sentence and due to your ongoing senility could perhaps have posted unfinished and have forgotten to complete the same, that's why I left the response a while in case you desired to edit the error.


I suppose you were one of those little urchins whose mother always referred to as a 'good little boy' my my my, doesn't it make you sick!

I said "Good!" in the vague hope of dissuading you from posting your usual farrago of presumptions on which you erect your mighty constructions seemingly unable to discern that what you presume derives from ideas in your own cotton-wool filled noggin and is thus entirely tautological which is to say meaningless in the literary sense but does give the rest of us a titter.

It is a very simple technique and although I wouldn't stoop so low myself normally I may be tempted one of these days to provide you with a demonstration of how skilled it is possible to get at the trick.

It is a trick of course. A trifle common too.

Mathos - I know what you mean about the use of the word "good" and its resultingly often vague connotations. I myself, use it way too often. I make statements like, "That cake was good," when really, I should say, "In my opinion, that was a delicious cake." Or I'll say, "That was a good movie." When what I mean to say is, "I, personally enjoyed that movie. It appealed to my sense of wonder or poignancy or horror or romance..." (whatever emotion it elicited in me, personally and specifically as an individual).

When Spendius said, "Good!" I found it kind of startling myself. It was out of character for him- especially that final exclamation point. I don't think I can remember Spendius ever using an exclamation point before. Not his style, usually. But I interpreted it to mean that he was glad that you found our egotistical, self-gratifying oozings somewhat stomach churning, as if he was happy for your discomfort. It somehow pleased him. But that's only my interpretation. I could be wrong.

It's ironic, because I was just going to say, before I read these posts, that it was so nice to see you guys getting along so well. Over on the questions game, he was asking your opinion, and you were giving it with so little name-calling and unpleasantness for a short while. Sometimes you seem almost like a father to him...I think he used the word mentor. I was finding it to be quite touching. But I guess you guys are back to the old status quo now, huh?

By the way Spendius, what's up with you and all these "tricks" you're either imagining others are playing on you or you're planning to teach others about?
You need to just relax and trust in the universe. (Someone said that to me yesterday). At first I kind of chuckled; I'm not into that new-agey stuff - but then I translated it into my "own" language and decided, yeah, it makes sense to believe or have faith that things are as they should be and will be as they should be. You know that whole twelve step concept about changing what you can change, but having the serenity to accept that which you can't change. I think there's a lot of wisdom in that.

But then I believe that all things work together for good (in the end even if it looks really, really bad along the way) and that there's peace, if not also a better place, waiting for me at the end of all this. That pulls me through quite a lot of anxious moments.
If you ever want to talk about it, let me know- I mean that's what playmates are for right? To be there for each other and make life less lonely and more pleasant. (And I know that's a clause and not a complete sentence at the end- I left it like that because I wanted to).

Playmates are for playing. Original writing is playing with words. It isn't a vehicle for little simple homilies parading the virtues of the declaimer. Those are for classrooms of juveniles gazing rapturously into Miss's eyes.

What's the nuclear physicist up to?

(I had to edit this to put in the laughers because I really did laugh long and hard at your first paragraph. Why do you think you can tell everyone what original writing is for? I can make it what I want it to be for me and you can make it be what you want it to be for you.

In fact, I think I'm going to start thinking up some simple homilies and start a whole thread of them.

Regardless of what you believe, I believe playing, especially with a playmate alleviates boredom and loneliness and makes life more pleasant. Just think back to when you were little and you were playing with your trucks in the sandbox all by yourself, and then some other little kid would walk up and ask if he could play too. Wouldn't you be happy? I know I always was when I was standing there with my jump rope or my jacks or by the tether ball all alone and suddenly someone appeared and wanted to play with me.

*(Because when I'm saying "playmates" - I'm picturing two little children swinging on swings, or sliding down slides, etc. I've not adopted Mathos' jaded definition of playmates as bedmates. Just wanted to be clear on that).

Anyway, it wasn't my simple homily. Someone else said it to me. I was just trying to get your mind off trickery and onto the bigger picture. Excuse me- I'll try never to do it again, except when I know it will get a bunch of juveniles to stare rapturously into my eyes. That just might be too much to resist.

I don't know what she's up to. Probably physics of the nuclear variety.

There's nothing new under the sun except verbal sleights of hand.Original wrappings. The contents are timeless.

Suggestions for your new homily thread.

1 Apple pie.

2 Moms.

Nope, I've already chosen my first one.

"Life is short. Growth is optional. Choose wisely." (unattributed)

See, now I can get into this. This is gonna be fun.

Becksie wrote-



That should make life seem a lot longer.

How'd you like that first one? Three simple sentences. Just eight simple words that speak volumes. I think this will really help me conquer my addiction to and problem with long-winded posts, as well providing an outlet for folks (I hope it won't be just my homilies) to impart some life-affirming wisdom. Isn't that just what the world needs right now?
(You always inspire me with the best ideas Spendius. I have to say thank you for that).

And since Mathos has seemed to abandon his thread for all intents and purposes, maybe I could just hijack this one and turn into a "Homilies for Life" thread.

I can tell you're gonna be a poor sport and not a cooperative playmate tonight - never mind- I understand that's just how it is sometimes. Anyway, I've been itching to write something all day. Have you noticed the influx of interesting new writers. I think it's wonderful.

You pipped me. I don't understand your response though. What should make life seem a lot longer?

Discussing a threadbare bunch of cliches like



should make life seem interminable.