It floated there.....

Forums: Poetry, Original Writing, Original Poem, Letty, Lettys Pad
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In the darkened air,
My lids were closed
And indisposed.

But clear it was
as the bright of day.
My mind responded
Go away!

and yet it hung
In dreadful pose
so black and noir like

despis-ed rose

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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 22,101 • Replies: 26

[+3] - edgarblythe - 06/15/2010[IMG]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/60/File-Black_rose_%28anarchist_symbol%29.png[/IMG]

You have outdone yourself with this one, letty. I think it may be my favorite poem of yours.

1 Reply

@edgarblythe,

Thank you, edgar. This was part of my sleepless night.

I hope that others who are poetic will respond as well.

0 Replies

@Letty,

Letty wrote:

In the darkened air,
My lids were closed
And indisposed.

But clear it was
as the bright of day.
My mind responded
Go away!

and yet it hung
In dreadful pose
so black and noir like

despis-ed rose

Hi Letty,
Clear, concise and not running away with itself. You have a talent that you likely doubt. I don't though (Doubt it, that is)
I don't want to appear overly personal, but what does that "Despis-ed Rose" represent to you?
I'll be watching out for your next one. Not that I'll ever remember how to get back here, I still get quite easily lost in this place.
Thank you Letty for sharing this with me.
Have a lovely day, indeed!
Mark...

1 Reply

@mark noble,

Quote:

I'll be watching out for your next one. Not that I'll ever remember how to get back here, I still get quite easily lost in this place.

to get back here, you can leave a breadcrumb in the form of a tag...

1 Reply

@Region Philbis,

Hi Region,
Thank you for that, I don't want to sound like Marvin (The Paranoid Android), but it probably won't work... for me, anyway.
Again, thank you.
Mark...

1 Reply

@mark noble,

mark, the black rose is often a symbol since there are NO black roses. In my case, it must have stood for sorrow and profound love. When one dreams something, it becomes difficult to define.

Perhaps Region can also direct me to the explanation and explication of your poem Sheep.

I love poetry, mark, and dear Robert Gentle knows that. I started writing when I was just a wee thing.

1 Reply

@Letty,

Quote:

Perhaps Region can also direct me to the explanation and explication of your poem Sheep.

here ya go, ma'am... Smile

http://able2know.org/topic/152458-1

1 Reply

@Region Philbis,

Thanks, Region. I tagged it for later.

0 Replies

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/60/File-Black_rose_%28anarchist_symbol%29.png

0 Replies

@Letty,

beautiful.....

1 Reply

@Arjuna,

What a nice surprise, Arjuna. Thank you. I was fearful that edgar's black rose had put a spell on everyone. Smile

1 Reply

@Letty,

Letty wrote:

What a nice surprise, Arjuna. Thank you. I was fearful that edgar's black rose had put a spell on everyone.

No... I was very inspired to "answer back" your poem with my own, but I thought again... maybe we can do that in another thread?

1 Reply

@Arjuna,

Please do it here, Arjuna. There has been a dearth of poetry on A2K. I was thinking what a fine poet Mark Noble is. (love his screen name)

0 Replies

@Letty,

Letty wrote:

In the darkened air,
My lids were closed
And indisposed.

But clear it was
as the bright of day.
My mind responded
Go away!

and yet it hung
In dreadful pose
so black and noir like

despis-ed rose

It grew there:

The young dutchman pulled off his boots and sat on a stool
his hair in his hand
a fist full of straw

His gaze rose
to silky maroon as deep and tender as a night breeze
trimmed in red like the gown of an arabian dancer...the earth's answer to his dream

And it was failure
hollow as the grave
The holy grail is a black lily

2 Replies

@Arjuna,

Stunned at the beauty of your imagery.

http://www.firelily.com/photoshop/lily/black.flower.jpg

Black Lily thou art Orpheus,
And the straw is golden garners.

We try to paint them pyrite
But the fool is just an air tight
Broken bubble,
In trouble

1 Reply

@Letty,

Letty wrote:

Black Lily thou art Orpheus,
And the straw is golden garners.

We try to paint them pyrite
But the fool is just an air tight
Broken bubble,
In trouble

Broken bubble.... that's about ten poems!
Thanks Letty!

0 Replies

@Letty,

A deeply personal poem of memories flooding back and nearly drowning the narrator at perhaps the wrong time?

What is the purpose of the oddly punctuated last line despis-ed rose? i'm sure it's intentional and not a typo. Is this a recognized homage to another poet or poem?

1 Reply

@tsarstepan,

You're right, tsar. Perhaps it all has to do with being submerged in the water of tears, but strangely, that was not the case with this particular dream. At least, I don't think so.

as for the use of despis-ed, that was the old use of the verb/adjective that so many composers featured. For example, Handel (he was despis-ed and rejected)

Why don't you add to the poem.

0 Replies

@Arjuna,

Arjuna wrote:

Letty wrote:

In the darkened air,
My lids were closed
And indisposed.

But clear it was
as the bright of day.
My mind responded
Go away!

and yet it hung
In dreadful pose
so black and noir like

despis-ed rose

It grew there:

The young dutchman pulled off his boots and sat on a stool
his hair in his hand
a fist full of straw

His gaze rose
to silky maroon as deep and tender as a night breeze
trimmed in red like the gown of an arabian dancer...the earth's answer to his dream

And it was failure
hollow as the grave
The holy grail is a black lily

Hi Arjuna and Letty,
I like both your writing styles a lot, especially the imagery you both leave. I'll be popping in here quite often, I do believe.

And Letty... Mark Noble is my real name also, with an Anthony in the middle.
Best wishes both.
Mark...

0 Replies

It floated there.....

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