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Life: Looking Back, Looking Forward

 
 
Lash
 
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 11:03 pm
I'm 44. My children are grown and independant, I've become a widow, and I'm in the midst of creating a new life. I know a lot of people here are on Chapter Two, or reaching crossroads...maybe second crossroads...

I thought it might be interesting and instructive to discuss these things.

Regrets, or something you wish someone had told you--to pass down to those who follow behind us....? Where you are in life? What your fondest hopes for the future are? Your youthful philosophy, and any tweaking you did along your path? Did you have a plan? How close did you get to achieving it? Are you happy? Are you lonely? How do you fare in your self-evaluations? What do you want to do before you die?

Does it matter to you whether or not you leave something on this earth to speak to your existence? What do you want that thing to be?

Thanks in advance for sharing something so personal. I plan to take some time to put my answers in some cohesive order.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 22 • Views: 46,301 • Replies: 1,111

 
Lash
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Mar, 2006 11:53 pm
The only ones I can answer decently is the few things I want to do before I die, and what I want to leave behind. For some people, it's nothing, but I want to live in another country for a while.

I want to earn a doctorate (if I think I'm capable after the Master's.)

I want to be published -- and I want to be proud of what I write.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think I want to leave behind a scholarship, actually a few-- in honor of my brother, my husband and me, actually.

Also, weirdly, my husband and I agreed with the children that they would spread our ashes together and enjoy a vacation for that purpose, but I find that I take comfort in visiting the graves of my father, my brother, and others I loved. So, I'm planning to place a stone bearing my husband's name with mine--even though we won't be buried there, it'll give my children somewhere to go...

I know it sounds trite, but I am so ...filled with pride about the two people I helped shape. If I do nothing else, my two children are the most wonderful "accomplishments" in my life, and the world is so much better, graced by them.

Not obsessed with death and leave-taking...but you know... Smile Love to hear of people's goals, thoughts...
JLNobody
 
  2  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 12:02 am
Kierkegaard said that we must understand life backwards and live it forwards.
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Lash
 
  2  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 12:11 am
It is a travesty that we don't live it backward...

But, there are great aspects of this midpoint.
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Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 12:58 am
I just wish that I had my innocence back, so I could have the knee trembling thrill of losing it all over again.
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Lash
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 01:01 am
Don't masturbate for six months.

Viola!
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Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 01:03 am
Viola? Are you suggesting a big fiddle?
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Lash
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 01:04 am
After six months, it'll feel like a proper fiddle.
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kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 09:25 am
bookmark
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Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 09:29 am
bookmarking Kicky's bookmark.
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gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 09:29 am
Lash, I wish you well on your journey.
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material girl
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 09:30 am
Good lord gentlemen, this started out as a beautiful thread about life an dyou turn it into masterbation central.

Lash, sorry to hear you were widowed at such a young age.44, your lifes just begun.

I have too many issues to go into.
Im aware that Im wasting time, not using it to the full and should be doing a heck of alot more, most of that is to do with confidence.
Im aware that life is a journey, I will evolve and change, Im sure I can only change for the better, I can feel it happening, slowly but surely.

2 things I wouldnt mind doing before I pop my clogs is to hug a lion and be imortalised in art.
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Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 09:32 am
You strip off and I'll get me brushes.
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gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 09:33 am
You didn't hear me talking about masturbation. It was those horrible monsters who posted before me.

Nothing but a bunch of no good mongrels, I tell ya.
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JLNobody
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 10:28 am
Ii agree, Gus. I hate masterbaters and hypocrits. Don't you?
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 11:24 am
I too wish you well on your journey, Lash.

Your post really struck a chord with me as I have been spending an inordinate amount of time lately trying to decipher the difference between a crossroad and a detour.

As a consequence I find myself slipping back into some serious asocial behaviors. The worst part is that it feels so dang good to slip off into silence and I know that's not good for me.
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jpinMilwaukee
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 12:19 pm
I don't believe in regrets. The things in our past shape who we are today. I am happy with who I am today so have no reason to regret anything in my past.

For example, my wife is the most important person in the world to me and many things, not all of them good, had to happen in order for the two of us to meet. Regreting the past and wishing things worked out differently would probably mean that the two of us would have never met. That is unaccetable knowing how blessed I am now being with her.

The future is another matter. There are things in my life that I am not happy with and can change. While wishing to change the past is futile, not making plans for the future is idiotic.
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 02:32 pm
When I turned 65, I figured that a housewife was entitled to a slice of retirement leisure.

I'm no longer "stepmothering" my husband's sons.

If I'm reading a book that becomes tedious, I abandon the book. If I'm having an exceedingly dull social evening, I leave the party. If something is not worth dusting, I'm not going to leave it out.

I'm not going to postpone any opportunities for small adventures.
0 Replies
 
seaglass
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 02:52 pm
Well Lash, having hit the big 70 I know you have a lot of mileage left in you. I know I do. The kids are grown and ma bell left me comforably endowed with a pension and benefits, and I own a piece of paradise.

I live in the now. The past is past, and the future is based on what footwork I do today.

I know you can make your dreams come true.
0 Replies
 
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2006 03:18 pm
I regret ordering the french dip sandwich last weekend, instead of the chicken parm. It just wasn't very good.
0 Replies
 
 

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