Freeduck-- Looking forward to hearing about your sister's journey! Please tell me all about her and what she's doing and what she thinks of her choice.
soz-- You're at a neat point, IMO. I hope you luxuriate in it!! I stayed home with my children for seven years, and I feel that was one of the most important things I did. I'm confident you'll feel the same way. My daughter thanked me for it a couple of weeks ago, actually. She's been so sweet. We were just talking about daily stuff, walking in WalMart, and she just spontaneously kissed my cheek. How can such simple things be so wonderful? You think you love the little one now... After and between a couple of rough bids for independance, daughters make everything worth it. Happy for what's ahead for you and sozlet. And, soz, when you start Phase Two, will you start a thread, so we can follow?
Boomerang-- Boy, do I feel you here:
I have always been so guilty of overthinking things, such a mental masochist, that I often bypassed opportunity when it was knocking loud and clear. I've thrown rubble in my own path to happiness.
The one thing I adore about this part of my life is the relative peace. I had a co-worker (a young student) tell me, today as a matter of fact, that when she has things in her life that she thinks she can't handle, (she's got one now) she thinks about me. (Sounds pitiful), but she said I'm her inspiration for how to keep going, no matter what. I hadn't been thinking of myself as a walking example of "hey, if YOU think YOU'VE got it bad" horror, but who am I kidding. <wry smile>
After everything, at this point, I don't experience those same uneasy, worried, self-doubting feelings. Hope it's gotten better for you. We deserve a little rest, eh?
CJ-- Thanks for your comments. I'm so glad you always found the right path for yourself. That must be very satisfying!
I really enjoyed everyone. Thanks.
JLN has it right; don't regret anything - they should have been all learning experiences. Without opposites, we wouldn't understand what life is all about. We must go through hardships as well as scraping close to the bottom of the barrell to appreciate better times and higher achievements.
As of April 1, 2006, I was required to withdraw funds from my IRAs according to IRS rules and regulations. The tax man wants their share of my retirement savings, because they accumulated tax free for the past 30-odd years. I'm one of the lucky ones for having lived this long, and the added bonus is I'm able to travel to my heart's content while enjoying relative good health.
Not bad for a poor bumpkin that had some success in this life, and the good luck to have been born and bred in the US of A; living at the right time and place we call life.
CI--
How much did they take, percentage-wise?
You do seem to be an example of someone, living on his own terms. From my vantage point, these past years have been wonderful for you. You seem to have completely carpe-ed the diem.
<winkie>
[/B]Gus wrote
[quote]Regrets? I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention.[/quote]
Aww, go ahead and mention 'em, Gus!
Lash--
Thanks for the kind words.
Green Witch--
Bette Davis said it first, but I was given the line by my Girl Scout Leader who was having a torrid affair in her late 70's.
Boomer--
You are too kind.
Dys--
You lost me. I'm a very provincial woman with elbows.
Lash, Since I withdrew the funds after January 1, 2006, I'm not sure what the tax consequences will be until we file our return early next year.
It won't be too bad, because my wife is finally retiring from nursing this week after some 35 years, and our gross taxable income will be much, much lower.
We paid 9 percent federal in 2005.
Well, good. From the way you mentioned it, I had in mind they were cleaning you out! Glad it's not so bad.
LOL, no, we're not even close to the top ten percent of income earners in the US. Our lifestyle is comfortable - quite enough for both my wife and I. The biggest difference might be that we have no outstanding loans or mortgage.
That must be it. You travel like a Greek shipping magnate.
I met a banker from PA on my second tour of Egypt, and he shared some interesting perspective about our ability to travel around the world. If we consider that over 90-percent of humans on this planet cannot travel even outside their village, those of us lucky enough to have the means to travel are the lucky ones. In that way, we are "rich."
Great thread, Lash. Many heartwarming thoughts have been shared by many.
I've had crossroads and made choices that for a moment or two caused me to worry about making the right choice. I've never dwelled on it for long as I tend to look forward rather than back or 'what if'. I recall a couple times hoping I had made the right choice and then giving in to a shrug and telling myself it was the right choice now because it was done and it was time to move on with it.
Some significant crossroads were getting married too young, deciding to go back to school, finishing school and getting divorced, leaving everyone and everything I knew and moving to Chicago to start a new career, getting remarried, having children, leaving my career to focus on being a mother, starting my own business, and now.... I'm facing another crossroads.
My children are teenagers and even though they are still in my home and in my care, they have their own lives and their own paths to walk. I've become active in a church for the first time in my life, finding that the spiritual path I have never before walked is calling me. I've become less active in my business and more active in reaching out to others. Perhaps a result of being needed less as a mother and used to tending to other's needs. I care more than I used to.
I define success as making a difference in the world. If the world can be a better place in whatever small way simply because I was born, then my life has been successful. I'm satisfied that I've achieved that in my work and in bringing my children into the world and instilling in them the desire to also be successful by the same definition. There is still work to do but I'm in a better place to divide my energies between what I do for others and what I do for myself, realising that much of what I do for others does, in fact, bring personal rewards.
I hope to move back to the east coast once my children are in college. This is their home, they were born and raised here, but it is not where I'm from and not where I belong. I'd like to find a place in the mountains of VA, perhaps near Charlottesville which has the wonderful culture of a university town and is near the mountains I miss so much.
I really have no idea on where I'd like to be laid to rest, or have my ashes spread. I used to think it would be back in Vt, but I'm not so sure anymore. I've recently turned 50, which isn't so old after all. Hopefully I have a long while before it becomes an issue.
Wow! How many books are in that life? Please consider a thread --like a J_B diary, or something. We have so much in common, and I'd like to see your thought processes, if you ever feel like sharing.
SO glad you showed up. I'd pegged you for early thirties!
J_B wrote:
Some significant crossroads were getting married too young, deciding to go back to school, finishing school and getting divorced, leaving everyone and everything I knew and moving to Chicago to start a new career, getting remarried, having children, leaving my career to focus on being a mother, starting my own business, and now.... I'm facing another crossroads.
Lash wrote: I'd really love it if you'd discuss your move...what predicated it, and how you felt..how you started over... Fascinating! I need to go hound osso about her current resettling, too.
J_B wrote: I've become less active in my business and more active in reaching out to others. Perhaps a result of being needed less as a mother and used to tending to other's needs. I care more than I used to.
Lash wrote: When the children don't need so much, we're left with the cultivated overbrimming of service to other people. I'm glad you've found somewhere to give it. Love to hear about this--and the type of church you have found.
J_B wrote: I define success as making a difference in the world. If the world can be a better place in whatever small way simply because I was born, then my life has been successful. I'm satisfied that I've achieved that in my work and in bringing my children into the world and instilling in them the desire to also be successful by the same definition. There is still work to do but I'm in a better place to divide my energies between what I do for others and what I do for myself, realising that much of what I do for others does, in fact, bring personal rewards.
J_B wrote: I hope to move back to the east coast once my children are in college. This is their home, they were born and raised here, but it is not where I'm from and not where I belong. I'd like to find a place in the mountains of VA, perhaps near Charlottesville which has the wonderful culture of a university town and is near the mountains I miss so much.
Lash wrote: You do realize you must take us all along on that adventure!!
J_B wrote: I really have no idea on where I'd like to be laid to rest, or have my ashes spread. I used to think it would be back in Vt, but I'm not so sure anymore. I've recently turned 50, which isn't so old after all. Hopefully I have a long while before it becomes an issue.
Lash wrote: Let's just make a pact not to croak til we're tired.
I intend to leave my body to science so there won't really be anything left to bury or to spread around.
I think I've already created a legacy through photography though. When I die people can look back at the things I've created -- personal things especially for them -- and remember me.
That's good enough for me.
That's so lovely, boomerang.
I want to start thinking of a little something special for my children, too. Something comforting, and revealing of their mother. I wanted to leave a diary, but there are harrowing passages. I'm actually going to have to burn them, so they aren't found. Hate to. I've had so many goodbyes. Eh.
But, you've set me on a good path.
Do you have a photo gallery here? Love to see your work.
boomerang wrote:I too wish you well on your journey, Lash.
Your post really struck a chord with me as I have been spending an inordinate amount of time lately trying to decipher the difference between a crossroad and a detour.
As a consequence I find myself slipping back into some serious asocial behaviors. The worst part is that it feels so dang good to slip off into silence and I know that's not good for me.
I had such a garden of contributions, this didn't sink in.
Are you begging off on invitations, or cutting back on routine social gatherings? I am
REALLY bad about this. I'm just now thinking seriously about getting back in the community after six years of isolation. (I have been going to school and working a part time job--but nothing else.)
Where are you with this, boomer?
That's a complicated question and I have to get my dog to the vet this morning but I promise to come back later and try to answer.
(I sent you a PM with the photo stuff. I'd love to hear your comments.)
It will be worth the wait.
Comments sent. If you give me permission, I'd like to put my response here.
dyslexia wrote:She's got Marty Feldman eyes.
Wasnt that a song by Kim Carnes?
I've tried to answer this "where am I with it now" question several times and it just gets harder every time!
I don't think my normal is anywhere near what most people consider normal.
I am not a social person. I'm not anti-social or un-social, I'm just a-social. It's not that social situations are awkward or uncomfortable for me, they just seem to be kind of pointless.
I'm a good listener and a better watcher though and for most people that counts as interaction, they don't really notice that I'm not saying anything.
Since I've been raising Mo I can't just be happy wallpaper anymore and I have learned to participate a bit more. I've always described myself as "better on paper" and I actually have to be present now. I have to be his advocate so I have to speak to people I normally wouldn't.
I'm getting the hang of it.
But lately things have gone wacky at work and I have to take care of it. I had been building in a different direction and now..... I don't really know what will happen.
It's a crossroad that I planned to hit about six months from now that is turning into a detour that I have to deal with now. I'm getting a bit overwhelmed navigating the detour.
I just want to go back to being wallpaper and I can't.
