How does a man go about knowing how to get girlfriend/wife?

Have you thought about a mail order bride?

Men on the South Pacific Rim swear by Asian women.

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Thanks, flushd.

I'm a puppy, but you can still talk to me. Smile

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seaglass wrote:

Men on the South Pacific Rim swear by Asian women.

Yeah, they're so obedient, aren't they? At least until they catch on to
the game Wink

----

Blogg, please don't think you need to sell yourself - the harder you try the worse it gets. The ones who come on too strong are always a deterrent, and that goes for both, men and women.

People like mysterious things in life, the things that are hard to get and
things that need a tremendous effort to reach. Isn't it always that way?

Go out and meet people in general. The guys you meet might have nice
sisters who are unattached, married women have single friends, and so
on. But please, realize your potential and be a bit shy and mysterious,
chances are, you'll have a pick very soon.

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flushd wrote:

If you just keep reading, you'll never find someone.

Not true! if reading is the thing you enjoy most in the world. For (fictional, and therefore most likely not true) proof, read Calvino's "If on a winter's night a traveler".

As for the "loneliness" worries, I say: choose to live a solitary life, and by definition you will not be lonely.

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Smog, I think flushd meant "if you just keep reading self-help books about relationships between the sexes," not that he should stop reading anything.

Blogg, I think L. ellpus' advice is wonderful. If you can tell us what you think is ambiguous about it, maybe we can help. But if you can't be more specific about what you want to know, general advice like "be clean" is all we can give ya!

As Chai says, there is no one formula. There is no set of instructions. Do you have specific questions?

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Every post I make (especially posts, such as this one, in which I employ parenthetical phrases that include "fictional" or "not" or both) is tongue-in-cheek. And besides, I'm sure there are at least a few women out there who get totally hot when they see a guy reading a self-help book about relationships. It's all about picking your environment!

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Here you go, Blogg...you've inspired me to go on a rant.

http://able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=70322&highlight=

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Re: How does a man go about knowing how to get girlfriend/wi

Blogg wrote:

So, by the replies I've had the way that the other 98% or so men know what to do is that they read over-priced (IMAO) 'book's that they bought from the net (or they just use 'google')? Is that it?

I'm wondering ... for the last few decades, certainly decades before the internet. And especially before the printing press ... how the hell did humans reproduce??

Somehow, that with the sorts of vague and ambiguous answers I've been getting, one could think that there is some kind of 'conspiracy of silence' ... but that would probably just be plain paranoia.

Surely there is one ('standard') commonly known system (for want of a better word, that people commonly know.

You come off kinda bitter and paranoid here, dude. Laughing

Do you do that in real life? Cause maybe that's a good starting point..."Note to self: stop ranting about secret conspiracies to hide all woman-getting knowledge from me-- at least no ranting in front of others..."

Honestly, there is no secret formula. I'm a woman, but still I'm pretty damn sure that this idea you seem to have that all men except you have been given secret training in Scoring With The Ladies is a lil loony.

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smog,
I just might read that book you recommended. It sounds interesting.
And you do make a good point - one that has been repeated time and again, but is worthwhile hearing in all sorts of ways - there is no 'how-to' one secret way to find a mate.

Hopefully Blogg got something outta the thread.

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You should: it's great fun!

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SOME TRICKS OF THE TRADE:

1. Find an attractive woman.
2. Buy a giant red heart costume.
3. Put on the costume.
4. Buy flowers, chocolate, a portable stereo, and a Lionel Richie CD.
5. Follow the woman to her house.
6. Sit at her doorstep, playing Lionel Richie for hours, eating the chocolate until she stops screaming and undoes the chain lock, or until the police come.

You're welcome.

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Oh gar....I'd let you right in!

but only if you're wearing your new cowboy boots.

(good for traction if you know what I mean)

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I'm turning red!

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good come back you Two Laughing

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Re: How does a man go about knowing how to get girlfriend/wi

Blogg wrote:

I've been researching this issue the best I can, but the best I've been able to come up with describing my position is from www.love-shy.com (download the free 'book'. READ IT - it's good - there's nothing for sale on that site), or by downloading articles from journals containing the terms 'heterosocial competence' and 'hetero social skills' (which is mostly about the correlations between low heterosocial competence and rapists/pedophiles - not much help to me). But I haven't found much on improving those skills.

Surely there's something in the literature???

omg, don't read that book, don't look at it, don't think about it. It's stupid as hell.

If you really feel that that book describes you, then it's time to become something different, CHANGE YOURSELF. Think about all the guys you've idolised in your lifetime, the one's that you wished you could be like, and become like them.

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now that I think about it though, I'm really in no position to lecture you, I'm in the same boat and haven't yet been able to follow my own advice (why else would I have known about the book? Razz

)

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Re: How does a man go about knowing how to get girlfriend/wi
Har Har!

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Lord Ellpus wrote:

Blogg, stop thinking that you can learn all this stuff from books and suddenly become some sort of babe magnet.
Did you ever learn to ride a bike? If so, did you first have to read reams of literature beforehand? I think not, somehow.
You probably got out there (like all of us did) and grazed your knees and elbows many times before you became proficient.

Go and do some serious socialising with a group of people from both sexes for a while and see how things progress. Make a point of NOT trying to date anyone in that group for a couple of months, in order to concentrate on forging some good friendships. You'll be surprised at how things will just take a natural course, one day.

Take the pressure off yourself and have a good time for a while.

Good luck.

Hi Lord Ellpus,

Is this what others do?

Surely there are certain steps that people take?

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Chai Tea wrote:

Really Blogg,

...

We woman CAN be friends with you, you know. By becoming friends with us, you'll learn about us, and also learn about yourself.

That's kind of the problem.
I've HAD female friends. Plenty of them!
It could have been said that back at Uni, I was the most popular 'girl' around. Sad

Quote:

Hi! I'm Chai Tea....So, tell me a little about yourself Blogg.....What kind of stuff do you like to do?

I program computers, read books, study stuff...

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seaglass wrote:

Have you thought about a mail order bride?

Men on the South Pacific Rim swear by Asian women.

I love the idea.

I'm not sure if it would work, and I'm not ready for it, yet. But I'll probably either end up doing that, or I'll join the Moonies(J/K).

Smile

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How does a man go about knowing how to get girlfriend/wife?

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