How does a man go about knowing how to get girlfriend/wife?

My advice?

Don't overdo it with the aftershave, wash your equipment daily, ensure that a conversation with a woman is a two way thing rather than you just spouting on about yourself, learn how to cook at least three wonderful dishes, learn how to be a bit mysterious, be a gentleman, act with honour, treat her with respect and above all...... make her laugh out loud at least once a day.


Oh, and read the Karma Sutra until you know it by heart.

Hmmm...



I don't mean to be rude, but I forgot to mention that I don't like vague and ambiguous advice

Just to clarify: I want to know how other men ie. the majority of men find out about such skills.

But what I - and so many others would really need are many, MANY, very specific steps.

I don't understand this type of thing at all.

That kind of thing isnt taught at school is it?? It was never taught to me(to get a husband)

I think the problem is that we tend to look to our piers who are supposedly succesful in 'pulling' the opposite sex, hench there are so many disasterous relationships/marriages and people, once divorced, then spend their time searching for thier real soul mate.

Not enough people think long term,they need to think 'do we work well together, does this person interest me, am I atrracted to this person,if we argue will I be willing to compromise etc'


Dont lie to a woman,give your genuine opinion but if you think it wont be met well try and word it differently, be interested in her.
Think about how you treat your best male freind(they are your best friend for a reason)then treat the woman in comparitively the same way(leaving out the wedges and drinking each other under the table)

Re: Hmmm...

However, it's the way it works...



This bit is for the long run, no hurry...

Go to places where people are that you might be interested in for friendship. Not just women and not just single ones, either. Just, if you like politics, go to political rallies or work on campaigns. If you like working out, go to the gym. Like camping? Go to the woods or mountains. Like reading? Go to book clubs or book stores or even just the library. Knowing who you are and what you like and want, and then hanging around people who are similar, is how you build friendships.

And all friendships are good, because socializing is the skill you need to learn. And it's considerably easier to learn and practice when it's not so fraught with heavy meaning.

One very good piece of advice I've read here is -- say hello to everyone you meet. Everyone. The paper boy. The postman. The receptionist at work. Someone walking their dog. The guy pumping your gas. Everyone. And this kind of speaking helps you to learn how to break the ice. It can be very, very difficult to strike up a conversation with someone who interests you, and one piece of that is getting over your shyness enough to open up your mouth and talk. Again, if it's an encounter that is not so fraught with meaning, its a lot easier. Then, when you do see a woman you'd like to meet, you can treat saying hello to her just like you treated saying hello to the guy behind the deli counter -- as no big deal.

If you are such a man, Blogg, then there really is no hope. It is important that you remain in that 1.5 percentile otherwise the balance may be upset and all hell could potentially break loose.

But the rest of us appreciate your sacrifice.

Re: How does a man go about knowing how to get girlfriend/wi
Forget all that sensitive mushy crap the others are plying on you!

All you'll ever need to know buddy!

http://www.blowmeuptom.com/

NEVER, EVER date a single mother. You already know her stance on abortion, she wont have one. Don't risk paying vaginamoney! PLUS, her kids will always come before you! Why would you want to be second place to some spoiled little brat!?!

Never do what you don't want to do. You make the money, you decide where you are going and what you are doing.

Don't ask a women what she wants to do.

Never tell a women how much money you make.

Don't EVER date co-workers! Unless you don't give a rats ass about your job, stay away from people you work with! It's always asking for trouble.

Never answer the phone, or go out on the weekend. Even if you really don't, you have to make it appear as though you have better things to do than be with her on the weekends.

Never spend more than 40 bucks on a date. This includes buying gifts, flowers, candy, jewelry, etc. It does NOT help in getting laid. It's a waste of money. If anything, buy alcohol and get her drunk.

NEVER approach a woman in a club who has her girlfriends with her. There is NO point, you will NOT get laid when women are in groups.

If you are not getting laid by the 3rd date, dump her and move on.

No spooning, no cuddling, no staying over. Get in, get out!

Never be in a committed relationship UNTIL you are really ready to settle down.

NEVER answer the phone on the weekends. It makes you look like you have nothing better to do. Weekends should be reserved for hanging out with your buddies or for guaranteed sex. Even if you really have nothing to do, let the answering machine take the call. You're busy.

Don't speak to women you work with unless it's related directly to work. Don't date them. Don't tell them they look nice. Don't comment on anything except whatever work needs you have, because you're a walking lawsuit waiting to happen.

Re: Hmmm...


Jeez Blogg - how much more specific can you get?

Which one of Lord E's suggestions didn't you understand?

1. don't wear too much cologne or aftershave....what's to misunderstand about that?

2. wash your equipment daily...in other words, keep yourself clean as women hate dirty men who stink.

3. Have a conversation be 2 way....she talks, you talk, she talks, you talk...don't just talk about yourself....she has something to say too. What don't you understand there?

4. Learn how to cook at least 3 wonderful dishes. Do you REALLY need to ask why? Everyone eats you know.

5. Be a little mysterious....ok, that can be a little tough, as you might take that as meaning keeping secrets....to a woman it means doing unexpected things that delight her.

6. Be a gentleman....in other words, don't take Chumleys advice....you know how to be a gentleman don't you? It not only means don't hit her, curse yell at her, but to treat her the way you'd like to be treated.

7. Make her laugh....you're on your own there hon.

What, do you think anyone learns in school how to get a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Exactly how old are you dear?

To find out how to pick up women, one's best bet would be to hang out with me. But that's not going ot happen.

You don't like vague answers? Well you're asking a vague question, buddy. "How does one pick up women?" You got any specifics? If you're insecure and lack confidence, shut your computer off until you get that little thing handled, then come back for advice.

And I don't feel like writing a novel, so just do a google search for picking up women. Go invest some money in books. There's plenty out there. Read, absorb what you think fits into your personality, stop being a pu$$y and open your mouth to initiate conversations.

Ok, one secret: walk up to woman with cloroform soaked rag. Hold up to her face and say, "excuse me, does this smell like cloroform?"

We should do a thread on meeting & picking up women, and direct all these questions to it. It's like the porno threads.

Listen to Slappy, Blogg, he's gone out with more women than I've had accidents with gadgetry.

If you took alll the women that Slappy has laid, and put them in a straight line, they would reach the moon and beyond.

And that's just the imaginary ones. If you took the real live ones they would stretch out for four feet.

If you count blow up sheep, it would stretch to at LEAST 19 feet.

Yeah, but he gets to save all that energy for working out.

Re: How does a man go about knowing how to get girlfriend/wi
So, by the replies I've had the way that the other 98% or so men know what to do is that they read over-priced (IMAO) 'book's that they bought from the net (or they just use 'google')? Is that it?

I'm wondering ... for the last few decades, certainly decades before the internet. And especially before the printing press ... how the hell did humans reproduce??

Somehow, that with the sorts of vague and ambiguous answers I've been getting, one could think that there is some kind of 'conspiracy of silence' ... but that would probably just be plain paranoia.

Surely there is one ('standard') commonly known system (for want of a better word, that people commonly know.


I've been researching this issue the best I can, but the best I've been able to come up with describing my position is from www.love-shy.com (download the free 'book'. READ IT - it's good - there's nothing for sale on that site), or by downloading articles from journals containing the terms 'heterosocial competence' and 'hetero social skills' (which is mostly about the correlations between low heterosocial competence and rapists/pedophiles - not much help to me). But I haven't found much on improving those skills.

Surely there's something in the literature???

Re-read jespah's post. You need to socialize a lot first. With everyone and anyone. Keep your eyes open.

Can you speak with women you are not interested in: like, grandmothers and girls you wouldn't date maybe?

If so, right there is a great springboard for learning and meeting women. Think about it: out of anyone you talk to, they probably know at least one available female, or someone who does. Plus, you might really enjoy getting to know the person.

You have to actually do these things. If you just keep reading, you'll never find someone. She won't come falling into your lap (unless you're at a strip club and you are paying for it).

I don't know where you live, but in a lot of places in the world now women are becoming more assertive. You can be a shy guy and still find a mate, but you are gonna have to take some risks buddy. That's all there is to it.

Oh...and try not to label yourself so much. You aren't defined by this. It's just where you are at right now. Decide that it is something you are gonna overcome, and you will.

By the way: Right here on this forum, you received replies from females as well as men. You could try addressing the comments individually, and so engaging in a conversation.
For example:
Thank you Jespah for your suggestions. blah blah blah.

Speaking directly to someone, and using their name, makes them feel acknowledged. And it can lead to a one-to-one convo.

Re: How does a man go about knowing how to get girlfriend/wi


Let's look at the term you used, "picking them up". When you were a child, making friends and playing with them, did you worry about "picking up" a friend? We can learn a lot from children. They don't worry much about those sorts of things. It's just natural to make friends and playmates.

Among other things, your (potential) sweetheart is your playmate and friend. The order in which this takes place will vary, but this is most basic.

An intelligent woman appreciates a good, stimulating conversation, along with light-hearted merriment. Learn to improve your human relation, communication, and conversational skills, by reading or taking a course on these subjects.

It's hard to be merry when you're nervous. When you're confident with yourself, you can more easily relax and have a good time. There are scores of audios and books to help you to increase your self-confidence. Take advantage of them!

One time I was at a social gathering, and knew hardly anyone. I was so nervous and self-conscious. Then something occurred to me. I figured that others were probably nervous too, and they just didn't show it. So I thought, why not change how I see myself? Instead of thinking of myself as the one who needs help, why not change my role to the helper? So in my mind's eye, I took on my new inner role, of being the one responsible for making sure others felt at ease. What a difference it made! I pretended that everyone was nervous, and it was my mission to help them feel more comfortable. It's amazing how a change in your state of mind and how you see yourself, and others, can make all the difference in the world.

Would you believe that salesmen are the luckiest with women? Learn how to "sell" yourself, by listening to audios or reading books on how to be good in sales. Then transpose that information to whatever situation you're dealing with, at the time. Children are the best salespeople. They know exactly what to say and do, to get their parents to give in to their wishes!

One more thing. Read up on etiquette. A man with manners, along with confidence, will stand far above the crowd.

Blogg, stop thinking that you can learn all this stuff from books and suddenly become some sort of babe magnet.
Did you ever learn to ride a bike? If so, did you first have to read reams of literature beforehand? I think not, somehow.
You probably got out there (like all of us did) and grazed your knees and elbows many times before you became proficient.

Go and do some serious socialising with a group of people from both sexes for a while and see how things progress. Make a point of NOT trying to date anyone in that group for a couple of months, in order to concentrate on forging some good friendships. You'll be surprised at how things will just take a natural course, one day.

Take the pressure off yourself and have a good time for a while.

Good luck.

Really Blogg,

Like Flushd said, how about actually engaging the women here in conversation.

You ARE labeling yourself, "the person who doesn't know"

We women ARE just people you know, you can talk to us.

There have been many good suggestion here...but you choose to pick up on the one or two that don't really help you, like the internet stuff.

Again, maybe if you told us a little about yourself....

You're setting youself up for failure big time if you think there is some tried and true formula, like....
I will say theses 10 words to a woman, with no variation, and she will respond to me, saying these exact 8 words....I will then respond with the following 14 words, in this exact order.

Looking forward in time a litte....if you were to "get" a woman.....once you have her....what are you going to do with her?

Do you feel you will need to continue to read from some script that doesn't exist for the years to come, and she will respond in an exact way?

Again, what in the world are you finding ambiguous about the advice of: Keep your appearances up, treat the woman with respect, have a good flow of communciation.

Lord Ellpus has good advice. He "picked up" a very good woman many years ago.

Stop reading and jump in the pool. You'll get water up your nose a few times, but generally have a good time.

We woman CAN be friends with you, you know. By becoming friends with us, you'll learn about us, and also learn about yourself.

Let's get some conversation going right here Blogg...pretend I'm a woman you want to talk to...



Hi! I'm Chai Tea....So, tell me a little about yourself Blogg.....What kind of stuff do you like to do?