I asked him to leave...

Ditto.

Heph--

Thanks.

Your welcome.

Anyone around?

I'm here, Hephzibah. What's up girl?

What happend to your avatar Hep...was actually odd, you look a lot like someone I used to know...eh almost 20yrs ago.

I am so angry right now I could spit fire. I had a conversation with my soon to be ex this evening. This is my quote for the day strait from the donkey's mouth:

"I figured out that you weren't ready for marriage. It was just too
overwhelming for you to have to think of somebody besides yourself.
You were just so used to taking care of yourself that you didn't know
how to take care of anyone else, or how to think of anyone else's
needs besides your own,"

Yes this is what HE said to ME AFTER telling me about how he got pulled over, taken to jail, booked for DUI, and totaled his car this morning on his way to his brothers house from somewhere, in which he said a womans name. When I asked him again where he had been coming from he said, "Uh... umm... you know, so and so's house where my brother used to live."

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

2Packs I switched to the horse because I love horses and this is THE perfect avatar for me. And if I wasn't so friggin ticked off right now I would gladly give you a smiley to go with that...

AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!

Oh boy.......................

Would someone tell me what the friggin point is here? I have had enough BS for a friggin lifetime and I'm tired. I'm so friggin tired. I know I'm not friggin perfect. I know that I have stuff to deal with just like everyone else in this friggin world and you know what... I'm friggin done with all this friggin BS. I just tried to be the best friggin person I could be. What the heck is wrong with that? I've had friggin enough...

Hephzibah,

I know you're upset. I know you did what you thought were all the right things. They may have been. But unless the both of you were doing the right things it was doomed. He lied to you. You were living a lie that he spun for you.

It's not fair at all I know. But, it happened. You are working through this. Anger is a big part of it and you are certainly entitled to every bit of anger you have. But, you have got to realize one thing, EVEN IF YOU HAD BEEN PERFECT, it still would not have worked because he lied.

You have your responsibility in this yes, but Heph, HE LIED TO YOU. You went on what you believed to be the truth. Girl, give yourself a break.

If anyone were to figure out what the "point" is, they would be way ahead of the game....as well as a millionaire.

Breakups are one of the most tiring things that we can go thru, they are emotionally, and physically draining...and it takes time..lots and lots of time.

He might have let the womans name slip on purpose...just to get a rise out of you.

I have calmed down enough to say one more thing. This comment was not meant in any way as pertaining to A2K or any of the members here. It was solely talking about my feelings about my current situation. The BS is my current situation. The BS is trying to do the right thing and getting kicked in the friggin teeth. The BS is my entire life. Everything I've lived. Everything I've thought was important in life. That is what the BS is. That's all. I hope what I said last night did not offend anyone. If it did, I'm sorry. That was not my intent. I just was very angry. Very hurt. Very frustrated.

Heph--



Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Who's the Greatest Louse of All?

Girl, when you make a mistake, you make a doozie of a mistake. Still, you're improving. You are now giving him his share of the blame. This is progress.

Keep in mind that Your Charming Frog is trying to hurt your feelings--and trying to win you back. You're seeing beyond the lies now and resenting not only his present behavior, but his behavior throughout the marriage.

Hold your dominion.

Did he rack up the brand new car or the car he borrowed from his mother?

His new one. It must have been the "sickness" combined with all that alcohol. Hmmmm...

Aww c'mon Heph, you know he's going to blame it on you. It won't be true, of course, but I would imagine that's what he will do. It seems to be his pattern.

I say get a lawyer and get him out of your life. :wink:

Heph--

He didn't rack up a brand new car when you two were living under the same roof.

So much for your irresponsibility.

Thank you momma.

hey heph didn't have time to read all the posts but what i did read said enough... my thoughts are with you and if the choice you made was based on what will make you feel better and enhance your life in the long run today's heartache is a very small price to pay for better future especially when the alternative is a very dark/ deceitful frustrating palce to be.

My thoughts are with you and just get through the here and now because one day you will look back and be very relieved by the choice you made. Emmotion is sometimes a terrible thing clouding our rational and ripping us in two.

Yeah draining is right. I'm spent. I feel so many conflicted feelings right now, but have finally calmed down enough to be halfway sensible. I think... I've made my decisions, I am moving forward with the plans I have made. There's not a doubt in my mind anymore as to what the right thing is, or the approach I need to take. Maybe through all this I can finally learn to stop doubting myself. Second guessing myself. I don't doubt he would let the womans name slip on purpose.

I don't doubt that this is whole thing is quite possibly the worst decision I have ever made in my life. I don't doubt that I don't give a flip anymore what happens to him. I'm finally going to say the words that I have been fighting so hard to not feel for the last few weeks. I hate him. Plain and simple. I hate him with every fiber of my being. I despise what he represents, and I hate him. I don't feel guilty for hating him.



It doesn't matter anymore. I hate him. Period. I am going to let myself feel this because I need to. I need to hate him right now. Right or wrong. I need to acknowledge what has been done and acknowledge the feelings that it has brought up in me, instead of trying to push them all away and carry all the responsibility for this myself. What he says is of no importance to me anymore. What he does is of no importance to me anymore. I will not speak to him or even acknowledge him anymore except for the process of things to happen next. I'm done.

To everyone else:

Maybe I'm looking for validation here, don't much know, don't much care. I know I have been whipping round in circles for the last several weeks emotionally. Again I appreciate the patience that has been shown. I need to know something though. I need to know if I've blown it here at A2K? I'm not asking for any long heartfelt, "Oooh please don't go..." stuff. I just need to know where I stand because I'm just not so sure anymore. Thanks.

Tagged, thanks. That was very sweet. I do appreciate that.