Quote:Oh, heph, I'm so sorry you're in a rough patch. I've been concerned about you, I've noticed you mentioning some not-so-happy sounding stuff in few threads... Are you talking about telling him to leave permanently, or is it a temporary thing?
Cyphercat, Thank you. I appreciate your concern. It's going to be ok somehow. I don't know how, but I've got to believe the sun is still shining even if I can't see it right now because it's hidden behind some dark clouds.
Quote:Hep--
Normal? Of course empty aching is normal.
You've spent many months schooling yourself to be a half of a loving couple. A loving and supportive marriage was part of the fabric of the universe.
You discovered that your marriage wasn't all that loving and supportive, but you invested a great deal of time and energy (and money) into the illusion of a happy marriage.
You aren't a person to quit projects because they are hard. You are a person who "quits" only when the situation is impossible and personally destructive. You are not in any suicidal.
Hold your dominion.
Noddy, that makes sense. That explains why I feel so drained. I appreciate your advice and willingness to reach out to me. Your encouragement means so much to me.
Quote:My Wing Sista,
There's not a lot that I can say here. I've pretty much shared with you my feelings about this. But, I want to you know something. There are some pretty insightful people on A2K. Shewolfnm ad Noddy are two at the very top of the list. They have a way of being able to look at the entire situation and offer some excellent options.
I will always be there for you to vent, scream, cry, laugh or whatever it is you need me for and I know you know that. But these ladies, they are pretty awesome, Heph. Reading their posts you can hear their concern for you. Listen to them. I think you will find great wisdom in their advice.
My only advice to you is honey, forgive yourself. You fell in love with a man who wasn't what you throught he was. How were you to know? You fell in love with what was presented to you and you trusted that. In my book, makes you a pretty awesome person. Trust ain't easy baby. Yet, you were courageous enough to do it.
Ya know I love ya and I am praying for you.
I'm working on it Momma. Honest I am. It's hard. I'm so hard on myself sometimes, I know. I guess sometimes I feel like if I punish myself first maybe no one else will see the need to punish me. I know it's wrong and I struggle with it every day. I'll get there eventually though. Thank you so much for your prayers.
Quote:hephzibah, you are a very courageous woman.
Smart and insightful as well, if Setanta's respect for you is any measure.
Good luck with this - and don't hesitate to use A2K as one of your venting spots. Sometimes it's easier to vent where everybody doesn't know your name. You can say things/work things out in your head/get input from people who have nothing to gain or lose from their comments.
Continue to take care of yourself.
ehBeth, thank you. Setanta's respect means a lot to me. As well as the respect of many others. Could you do me a favor and ask him to come by and see us sometimes? It's just not the same here without him. I wish I could use A2K as my venting spot. I just can't do it. I've hurt him enough and though it might do good for me, it would only hurt him more. I won't do that. This is hard enough already. I don't want to make it any harder. I do have some other sources though to let it all out.
Quote:Hey, Heph. Of course you feel empty. I'd be surprised if you didn't. It might hit you later, maybe even much later but don't feel bad that you don't feel anything but empty.
Also, I'd advise against making any other major life changes right now. If you're employed, then I'd suggest keeping your job. I know you don't have family closeby, but are there IRL people who can be with you when you don't want to be alone?
We're here and we'd love to talk, help, sit, etc., but sometimes you need as real person to be with you.
Good luck, heph. The sun will rise tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. It won't be the easiest week/month of your life, but you'll get through it and you'll be stronger in the end for having done so.
{{{{{heph}}}}}
JB, Thank you so much for this advice. Truthfully speaking I've been toying with the idea of quitting my job, packing my stuff, and going back to FL. I'm afraid if I did though it would only be running away. That never works. Unfortunately my sources here are limited. I've only been here since Oct. and haven't had a chance to make many friends. I have a close friend from work who has offered to be there by phone any time I need her day or night. She's married and has children though so being here in person is difficult.
There's another girl from work looking for a roommate, I haven't talked to her yet about maybe moving in. That could help though. I do have my best friend from childhood still. She lives in MI. She has been through what I'm going through and will let me scream, rant, or cry any time I need to without judging me or even telling me what to do. She's a really good sounding board. I love her so much. I have been calling her frequently the last week or so. She has also made herself available any time for me to call. There is also a person I work with that does marriage counseling part time. I will be going to her on a regular basis for awhile to try and get some of this straitened out in my head. ((((((JB)))))) Thank you. I needed that.
Quote:Not much to say that hasn't already been expressed. We're here for ya.
It's a step. What it leads to, no one knows yet. But overcoming inertia is a hard thing to do, and I salute you. So many of the people who come through here never get up enough escape velocity to face their problems head on.
Hugs.
jespah, what can I say? You were one of the first one's to be here for me.
Thank you. And though there were times you said things that made me go GRRRR inside, I still heard what you were saying. Thank you for being honest. Even though it hurt sometimes.
Hugs.
Thank you all so much. Your encouragement is a much needed strength to me right now.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace