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He said "I love you" and I froze

 
 
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 09:47 am
I just stared at him, with a look of shock on my face... granted I didn't expect it and was caught completely off guard.... But he had had a few drinks, so I figured that was the reason, even though he stated that it was not because of the drinks that he was saying this, but you never know...

But I just froze, I only responded with a kiss.... and went on with the rest of the night, just like it have never taken place, even though the words constantly echoed in my mind, as they are still doing days later.... nothing has changed between the two of us, no awkwardness or what not...

But I am still not sure whether it was the few drinks he had had or not... and I don't want to bring it up either... but I didn't want to offend him by not saying it in return either...

But if I had said it and it had been a drunken comment, then I would have been made a fool.... Even though I am sure of how I feel for him, I just can't seem to form it into words outloud... maybe the risk of being hurt again, maybe the fear of losing what we have....

What would you have done?
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 09:59 am
Ha! I probably would have done the exact same thing..... take your time and say it when it feels right and comfortable.
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Arella Mae
 
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Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 10:03 am
I think you did the right thing also. If he does love you and he has said it once, he will say it again. If it was the alcohol talking well, he might feel put on the spot if you did mention it.

You doing ok? Laughing
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roger
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 10:03 am
I think you need to come up with some kind of response a little quicker than that. What might he be thinking when you totally space out the statement?
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 10:12 am
I am doing ok, still a little confused about it, I want to talk to him about it, but at the same time I don't...

I am just scared to bring it up... I don't know if I should, he remember the events of the night, which means that he must remember that also.... and I just stared at him, right in the eyes, for what seemed like an eternity...

I think I am going to bring it up, put my mind at ease.... because now I can't stop overanalyzing the situation and I am driving myself crazy with it...

All the what if's and the should I have done this.. thoughts running through my mind!
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Arella Mae
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 10:14 am
I can just imagine. You have to do what you feel is best and I am sure that you will do it with compassion and understanding. I wish the best for you.
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George
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 10:25 am
So...
DO you love him?
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 10:26 am
George wrote:
So...
DO you love him?


Yes
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 10:26 am
Momma Angel wrote:
I can just imagine. You have to do what you feel is best and I am sure that you will do it with compassion and understanding. I wish the best for you.


Thanks MA
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Francis
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 10:27 am
You can also take a look here: Saying the L- word
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JPB
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 10:33 am
Crazielady420 wrote:
George wrote:
So...
DO you love him?


Yes


So find a time when you're alone together and neither of you has been drinking and tell him you love him. The only thing you need to decide (besides the time and place) is whether to add the word 'too'. By saying, I love you, too' you're telling him that you are responding to his declaration. By simply saying, 'I love you' you're leaving it open that it's a declaration on your part independent of anything he said.

Regardless, he's told you he loves you and you love him. Why shouldn't he know that?
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 10:36 am
Quote:
Regardless, he's told you he loves you and you love him. Why shouldn't he know that?


Because he said it when he had been drinking, even if it was not that much to drink, he had enough in him to give him the courage to say it... so maybe he doesn't love me, he was just drunk or something... I don't know... I am in denial I think....

It just never expected it... not one bit.....
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Arella Mae
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 10:39 am
The most special gifts are the ones we never expect to receive. :wink:
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George
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 10:47 am
Crazielady420 wrote:
Quote:
Regardless, he's told you he loves you and you love him. Why shouldn't he know that?


Because he said it when he had been drinking, even if it was not that much to drink, he had enough in him to give him the courage to say it... so maybe he doesn't love me, he was just drunk or something... I don't know... I am in denial I think....

It just never expected it... not one bit.....

Yeah, but as J_B said, he's told he loves you.
And, I would add, without your having said it first.
For most guys (including me, way back when), this is not easy.
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 10:58 am
George wrote:
Crazielady420 wrote:
Quote:
Regardless, he's told you he loves you and you love him. Why shouldn't he know that?


Because he said it when he had been drinking, even if it was not that much to drink, he had enough in him to give him the courage to say it... so maybe he doesn't love me, he was just drunk or something... I don't know... I am in denial I think....

It just never expected it... not one bit.....

Yeah, but as J_B said, he's told he loves you.
And, I would add, without your having said it first.
For most guys (including me, way back when), this is not easy.


But it just doesn't make sense, we have been seeing each other for 6 months now, we aren't even in a relationship.... We haven't even become intimate... this just seems so different.... like everything is going backwords... I thought it went like this : U meet, you date, you turn it into a relationship, you have sex and then come the I love you's....
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 10:59 am
But ya know what, I am just gonna go with my gut instinct, which tells me not to worry....
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Thomas
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 11:01 am
Crazielady420 wrote:
Quote:
Regardless, he's told you he loves you and you love him. Why shouldn't he know that?


Because he said it when he had been drinking, even if it was not that much to drink, he had enough in him to give him the courage to say it... so maybe he doesn't love me, he was just drunk or something... I don't know... I am in denial I think....

It just never expected it... not one bit.....

On the other hand, I am trying to imagine what I would do if I told a girl I love her, and she froze, gave me a shocked look and a non-committed kiss, and acted as if nothing had ever happened. I would probably take her reaction as a pretty clear `no', might not bring it up again either, and settle for being just friends. Is that what you want him to think of your reaction?
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JPB
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 11:06 am
Maybe one of the things he loves about you is your willingness to be together for six months and not push him into a relationship he wasn't ready for. Sounds to me like he's telling you he wants a relationship.

oh, psst, some people (albeit probably few) still believe in waiting until marriage before being intimate. He might be a slow mover or he might think so highly of you that he doesn't want to use you by initiating intimacy before it can be called 'making love' vs 'having sex'.
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Arella Mae
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 11:13 am
I'm with J_B, Crazielady. I would actually take it as a compliment. It seems many rush into a relationship just because they have had sex. I like the developing a relationship and then making love kind myself.

Please keep us updated!
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2006 11:18 am
Ok, I know what I am going to do... I am going to talk to him, I am going to bring it up and say "Remember the other night, you said something to me" and if he says yes he remembers, then all I am going to ask him is "did you mean it?" and if he says yes... then I will in return say it and explain how I was just stunned... I was actually quite speechless
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