I do think there's something about workplace friendships that are a little different -- maybe because a certain distance is built in. But also, I've been the boss in most of the situations I have in mind, and that has an extra level of distance.
Hi, this will be my first post on the forums and its about something that happened to me today while at my a girlfriends house, one whom i thought previously was a platonic friend.
We've been friends since we we 5 and grown up together. now youre both we're both single and 18. Today when I went round to her house we were alone and started feeling each other after hugging; there was a lot of energy but i dont know whever i should pursue the feelings that i had. I dont know what she wants but i dont think shes the girl for me, if i went anywhere with her, it would probably just mean using her to get what i want as a man and not because there could be a relationship between us. Im not really very experienced with women either, ive only had one girlfriend and we met over the net. it didnt work out because of lots of things but i think that i look for too much in a women.
But the problem at the moment is that i feel loney in my life and would feel like a more complete person with a women in my life. We have been friends for a long time and ive fancied her in the past but right now, i dont feel anything for her though she might for me. would it be selfish to do anything with this girl and if not, would it destroy our friendship?
Well, chances are good that it would kill the friendship, particularly since you admit she's probably not the girl for you. Why go into a relationship which you don't think is going to go anywhere?
But the best thing may just be to talk. And yeah, that might kill things, too, but better to know, I say, than to go around wondering. I spent a great deal of my teen years wondering if anyone liked me, etc. and now, many years after that, I look back on that angst and think - would it have been so wrong to have just asked?
My advice is to sit down with her in some private place and just ask. Do you like me that way? Do you think we could have something? I'm not sure about this, are you sure about it? etc. And at least you'll know more than you did. I wouldn't be pressuring, e. g. don't demand an immediate answer or anything of the sort. Sometimes people are attracted but it doesn't go anywhere. Sometimes they are friends and there is an attraction, but the friendship is more important so the attraction is suppressed.
Best of luck to you, and welcome to Able2Know.
Garath,
I just attempted to post a reply and it got lost in space, so I will try one more time.
Let me welcome you to A2K.
If you don't feel anything for your friend that goes further then the friendship then you should leave it that way. You've already said that you don't have feelings for her, and you don't think you could.
There must be some physical attraction for the two of you since it got a bit heated while you were together. What made the two of you stop before a sexual act happened?
The only way you're going to know what is on your friends mind, is by talking to her. It's possible the two of you may be thinking the same thing.
If not, it's a good thing you decided to think before acting.
If the friendship is important to you, don't do anything that might compromise it.
I've got some female friends I'm not sexually attracted to...and they are actually very attractive girls. I consider them to be really good friends. I really have zero sexual feelings for them. I've had female friends that turned a little "physical," and it never works out.
However, I've been friends with them for years now. When I was in college, I had no problem making friends with girls, and keeping them as such. Now, my outlook has changed. When I meet a female, she's either dating material, or not. I'm a little more aggresive now, than I was then. If I think there's some mutual attraction, I'll most likely hit on her.
And if she's dating material, and doesn't feel the same about me, then I like to give her a ride in my car trunk until she changes her mind.
Oh my goodness - Slappy's here!
It's Slappy!!
Good point about college vs. later on.
And we FINALLY ge tto see what he looks like!
No wonder he feels driven to use ... unconventional methods....
Yup, it's me.
They don't ban people here, do they?
Uh, yeah.
Not that you'd ever do anything ban-worthy.
Me...never.
Although I've got an edge here. Not as many people know me. I've been banned on abuzz, probably just because my name...hence, the "part deux."
I'll be good. I promise.
Really.
Woohoo, It's the Doo-Hoo! Welcome aboard Slappy! How's the crackwhore bidness up in Lynn doing?
Sheiiiiiiit...you know how I do.
I luv me some ho's, but sometimes, bidness is bidness. When they git' out of line, I gots ta' smack they mouth.
Welcome, Do Hoo. Finally ran you off , huh? again
Hey Slappy! Good to see you!
