Directionlessness - is it a problem?

Sure you do know what you want, littlek





So why not start with the first plan. Become a teacher!

After you are a teacher and have a steady income, you can start
saving money for your retirement and for a small house.

Thanks to all the new responses since my last post.... too late to address everyone individually.

I don't hate my job. In the past, I've left when I gotto hate the job I was working. I tended towards small businesses and service industry jobs beacuse of the close-knitness of the work place and the social function of doing that type of work. I have had wonderful experiences which have made me a more well-rounded person than I was as a young adult.

LoveMyFamily - how about one career. Start a ymca type place where you can do a little of all those things.

CJane - that is indeed the current plan. Let's see if I actually do it. It's become the plan only now, at age 38, because I am having anxiety attacks about my retirement. I am like water, I follow the path of least resistance until I am forced to bust down the dam.

littlek, I feel like I'm reading something written by myself. I've spent my entire life jumping from one interest to the next. The only problem is if you are directionless you are still picking a direction. Now i'm at that age in my life were I am being forced to plan for a future I have been ignoring.

I, too, am like water and follow the path of least resistance. Except there is no damn at the end. Instead the water is absorbed by the sand until it completely disappears. Eventually all trace of the water is evaporated and there I am, stuck under the sand listening to the pounding footsteps of people racing along the beach.

It's lonely down here, littlek.

Count your blessings.

you ok, Gus?

I just came across this whole thing and several of the things I thought of have already been addressed. Especially CJ's point that yes, there IS something you want, to be more financially comfortable. As goals go, that's nice and general. Pick something you can do that pays decently; do it or gain the training necessary to do it. Et voila.

As to the more general question, it's a discussion I've had with E.G. several times re: his siblings. He's had this goal to get where he is now (science professor) for a good 20 years, and has worked hard to do it. He's had scholarships throughout, made everything happen.

His two younger brothers got as far as the scholarships, but that's it. One has a B.S. and then has been wandering around doing this and that outside his field (especially baking), another dropped out of college and is now working as a designer for a magazine. E.G. thinks they should be DOING something with their lives, I think the standard is just their own satisfaction and self-sufficiency. And they seem satisfied and self-sufficient, so what's the problem?

If you DON'T feel satisfied or self-sufficient, then it becomes a problem -- one that you're actively working on. You can do it.

We'll be your friends Gus.

This whole idea of what a successful life should be is a very modern concept. In the past most people were just happy to get the bread on table and keep the children alive until adulthood. Since the 20th century we have placed this emphasis on "finding oneself" and I'm not sure it's all so good.

Great point, Green Witch.

Geez, there are a lot of indecisive people here. I, like CJ, have always known what I wanted and made sure to get it. Now, I may not always be right....many times I'm not, but at least I get what I was asking for. Life would be too scary if I wasn't continually striving towards something.

Directionlessness isn't really a bad thing but it can become a way of life which is a bad thing. I think generally directionlessness can help you adapt and change along with a changing world. The key is seeing an opening and focusing when you see it.

My father spent years and years drifting along waiting to see what the winds blew along next. He was never able to snap out of his directionlessness and focus long enough to get things accomplished. In the end it caused major family/financial issues which he is still dealing with today. Small issues, over many years, have become huge issues, some of which are no longer reconcilable.

On the other hand, being to rigid is also not a good idea (in my opinion). Like CJ said, see something you want and go get it, but take the time to make sure that is really what you want. I always get a kick out of these people who have a strict life plan: married by 24, senior position in career by 26, kids by 28, etc.. Often they make bad decisions merely because they fit in with their plan. Plans and direction are good, but should by no means, dictate the decisions you make.

[/2 cents]

I think another thing to consider, since you mention retirement, maybe when you do find that thing you love to do the idea of retiring may never even enter your mind. There are a great many folks with direction who are chomping at the bit to retire but I also know people who love what they do so much they'll probably die on the job.

So maybe you wander around a bit until you know what that thing is and then never look back. Then again you can get a pair of bolt-ons and an Mrs. and call it a day.

Well said, GreenWitch.

As for Gus---Gus has depths.

It's one thing to be constantly adrift, unable to commit to anything for
very long. I'd say someone in that condition had a problem.

It's something else again to find that of all the choices you are presented
with, none completely satisfies you. That's a problem only if it prevents
you from picking the best of a bad lot and going with it, all the while being
ready to take a path if you find one.

You have had reasons for making the choices you have made. They may
not have been the reasons others would have had, but, hey, they're not
you. Do you regret those choices? Doesn't sound like it to me.

Now another path is before you. It's a path you did not follow before, but
you aren't the smae person. Maybe now you're a person who will make
that choice, follow that path, and be glad of it.

I, for one, think you'll make one helluva good teacher.

That's a good point Green Witch, however littlek is 38 years old and
in today's world you need to think of these things, like retirement fund
and job security, as one cannot rely on the government to provide
adequately for its seniors (of which we see examples every day).

The essential "nest egg" has nothing to do with finding oneself, it is
as I said, essentially needed.

Amigo - I guess there are a lot of us!. Comfort in numbers.

Gus - water always goes somewhere. It never just sits under the sand - not these days anyway. You'll end up in someone's water glass soon and then you'll be with(in) people again. (I echo JB's are you ok?).

Soz, good questions and ones that I ask myself.

Greenwitch I KNOW this modern lifestyle is, well, modern. But, do I discount it because it's new? No, I pretty much have to go along with the whole retirement plan because there won't be a village at the end of my life to keep an eye on me. I don't appreciate the go-getter lifestyle. I'm not interested. But, I do need to figure out what I want and do it.

Stuh - I'd be unhappy if I was always striving towards something.

I'm fine. I figured I would alter littlek's scenario about the water reaching a dam and smashing it, so I supplied an alternative ending. After I wrote it I realized it made me look like someone trapped, calling for help, but, rest assured, it was just some more of my nonsensical ramblings.

My life is relatively free of stress and you will not soon find me on a highway overpass with a high-powered rifle.

But thanks for asking.

You got a scope on that rifle Gus?

Don't need one. I can knock the wing off a gnat at three hundred yards.

While eating a peanut butter sandwich.

I'm eating the sandwich, not the gnat.