Directionlessness - is it a problem?

Well, tough issues to be dealt with but I would offer that, in my brief experience, you are a kind, decent and intelligent human being. I think that counts for alot.

Jobs aren't everything. Plus there is no guarantee that a steadfast career with offer any security (think G.M. retirees) or even self-fulfillment. Dys is on the right track about being the best human you can be first. Maybe you will find the career of your dreams, maybe not - in the big picture I don't think it really matters.

We all live a long time (hopefully), longer than the folks who dreamed up college ending at age 21 and majors declared at 18, with lives neatly wrapped up by age 25.

I've had, what, 7 careers? 8? The world changes, so do you. This is not a bad thing.

I don't know if it makes you feel any better, littlek, but I think there are many people out there with the same problem of being unfocused.

Have you ever thought about getting some career counselling?

Some people have jobs.
Some people have careers.
I'm sure there are other variants.

One of my best friends in the whole wide world is nothing without her title/career. I don't think she knows any other way to describe herself outside of her title.

Another friend is totally defined by her relationship with men. She was X's girlfriend, then she was Y's girlfriend, now she is B's husband. She is undefined away from the men in her life.

I work so I can have fun in my life. And comfort.

I keep a picture of the dogs at my desk to remind me why I work. I work so they will have a nice place to live. I work so that I eventually <sooner rather than later, I hope> can retire and enjoy that nice life with these dogs and more dogs.

Whadda ya want from life.

Some want to be doctors.
Some want to be spouses.
Some want to be parents.

I want to be retired.
Weird, but it's where I've been aiming since I was about 25.

I've always felt kind of directionless, though unfocused does sound a lot better. It's worked out okay, but not really great in many ways. My sister has been the exact opposite from the time I first met her. Really, I think she had a life plan laid out by age 1 1/2.

Does it bother you or does it bother you because others comment on it? If you had more money but no greater sense of direction would you care?

I would consider myself in the 'directionless' boat with ya' littlek. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing, unless you feel it is. You've always come across to me as a very sweet, decent person and that is Number 1 in my books. I guess I am agreeing with dyslexia here.

One positive thing about having the directionless trait is that we stumble into interesting situations and get tastes of many aspects of life/ ways of living. It definetly helps in the world right now to be flexible and not too specialized.

I think I never was without direction. Whatever I wanted
I got! Some of it was easy, other things came with a steep
price tag and a lot of sacrifices, but in the end it was all
worth it.

Bottomline: know what you want and go for it!

Littlek--

Would determined effort make you into a happier or more self-sufficient person?


Only you can decide.

I think that's an excellent question, Noddy. People can make a success of something through effort, even if it's not their passion.

what others said. many if not most people work for money...don't find absolute fulfillment in their work... nothing wrong with that. retirement fund may be something to worry about, but the rest isn't. you're doing fine, having a right head on your shoulders... unless you want to want some precise direction in your life... but that doesn't strike me as the case.

I think dag's signature would be an appropriate answer.

Wow, I didn't expect this kind of turn out....

Dys, thanks, sweetie.

Greenwitch, I don't even try to be the best person I can be. I try to be unhypocritical and honest. Not really the same.

Jes - yeah, multiple careers I was expecting, but not lame-o service industry jobs - CAREERS.

LoneH - welcopme to A2K and thanks for stopping in on my thread. It does help, thanks. I haven't tried career counseling since high school. They told me to be a teacher (lots of teachers in the family), but I had issues with that. Now, I plan to become a teacher (heh).

Bethie - yeah! I want to be retired, too, but at this rate I won't be able to retire. ever.

Roger - My sister has direction. She has the good job with benefits and a great salary, the house, the husband, the kids. The classic american dream. Idon't even know that I want any of that. But I want to be able to retire. I knew you were a familiar soul.

Blaise - good angle, and one I try to consider whenever I have this type of quandry. I think that if I had more money, I'd be happy being this directionless. But, I can't really know for sure. If I had a secure retirement (late is ok) and a small house paid for, I think I'd be pretty happy.

Flush'd - thanks. And, good points. I have met many wonderful people and had many wonderfulexperiences by living the way I do. But, I've also had not-so-savory experiences. All good for learning.

CJane - I don't know what I want. That's the problem. I have gotten the things that I want when I put my mind to it, but usually, I just go with the flow.

Noddy - I dunno. I'm pretty self-sufficient (right now). The only determined effort I seem to exhibit these days is behind the wheel - and that just makes me tense.

Dag - yep, want something to retire with. Want a place to live. Want health care. Want to be able to buy organic veggies...... Not so much precise direction that dictates all details of life. Enough direction to get me the things I find on my top 10 wants/needs list.

Gus, good point. But, I don't even seem to have enough focus to live that life either.

Many people are happy having a direction. Many people are happy even if they do not have a direction in life. Many people are unhappy even if they have everything they wished for in life.

Depends on what you want little k. And looking at your response to one of my threads you sounded very positive. So if you are happy not having a direction in life I don't see any problems with that.

There were a lot of teachers in my family too, littlek. They can come in handy!

Good luck with that!

I'm in the directionless club. I got lucky enough to fall into a profession but about every year or so I seriously contemplate a complete career change. I still don't know what I want to do with my life.

Does it ever happen to anyone that you wish to do so many things in life but don't know how and when to do them.

In my case, I want to do some social work or may be some charity work. I want to start a charity organisation of my own. I also wish I ran a montessory for kids. I wish I ran a Gym. I wish I was an aerobic instructor. I wish... I wish...

I was thinking about exactly the same thing when i read your question littlek.

Being directionless isnt too bad, really. I never planned my career either. I like my current job but i'm not sure whether this was i want to do or whether i will continue doing this....i'm directionless but not really uncomfortable with that fact.

In case you hate your job so much that you dread going to work...you need a change of job.