I'm doin' this for you're own benefit... gonna break down your verse man.. cuz not only were you're setups bad,but you're punches were off and self hypish.. check this.. no hard feelin's man..
Hitman J wrote:*bell rings*
*eryk sits down* me: School in session!!
punk im the hitman you just the pimpled teenager flippin burgers
cuz stickin a 'corpse in ya mouth' iz da only way you be 'spittin murder!'
No connection between the two lines.. Set up could of been worded better, and the punch is a played concept that wasn't even flipped hard enough, decent though?
now less go back to medieveil times where you have to 'fight for land'
and my mic-in-hand i guess i have to enlight-this-man
lmfao @ this bar.. this whole bar was pointless.. Set up was horrible and the punch wasn't even a punch, this is the net. not to mention a text battle..how you gonna hold a mic and enlighten me?? even if you did, no punch..??
im like a 'construction crane' cuz i Demolish-ya-hood
you must be da 'corner store maid' cuz you love 'polishin-they-wood!'
Setup wasn't bad.. but still no connection really, punch was pretty decent, could of been harder..
listen dude, i know you tihnk you tough but ive heard gay porn-rumors
HaHaH this 'newbie-a-joke' (nubia joke) like im dissin on 'Foreign-humor!'
Set agian was decent.. if it was followed by like a gay joke dissin' me somehow...but you see what I'm tryin' to tell you about conncetion..and you're wordplay, was a good attempt, but it was a reach..
you tryna face da king dawg you tryna battle wanna the Head-emcees
oh wel cuz 'givin blowjobs' iz the only way your get 'A head' of me!
lol.. well this was coo' man.. you're setup was decent, and you're punch was probably you're best hit. but i've seen you're punch flipped so much harder... IE..
[quote="Booc"]yeh i no showed, think im scared!? ill knock you into place dude!
ever since ya started givin me head, ive had the 'balls to face you!'
ill shelter you w/ skill, cuz belive me son i got enough to 'shed' a few!
while at that ill put my dick in ya eyesockets- im so fuckin 'ahead' of you!
.. seenicely flipped..[/b]
he must be bad at writin lyrics, check how long the man-took [to drop]
this guy cant be 'in the game' without his 'instruction handbook!'
set up actually pretty nice.. but the punch was lame.. no hard hittin' punch.. gotta think outside the box.
man this dude tryna get on my dick or summin.. this punk-is-lame
Check his verse, DUKE, this guyz desperatly wants-my-name!
seeee!! this has a conncetion.. NICE man.. man, you could of flipped that personal so much better.. still decent man..
AhA this dude almost over, but **** i aint 'done yet'!
yea duke i am 'hitman' but i didnt need to threatin you da 'gun yet!'
okay.. setup was nice.. but the punch, i think you forgotten a word like "WITH da gun yet" and don't get me started on gunplay, that **** isn't hard regardless if it's a nice flip.. doesnt' hit hard especially if it's the net.. you know?
ya head like a 'baby-rattle' ill shake ya and leave ya 'mind-shook'
This is a one sided 'crazy-battle' cuz empty pages fill ya 'rhyme- book!'
I like the enternal multies.. nice job.. but punch wasn't hard.. the whole rhyme book ****?? uncreative man..
ya raps 'doin more work than you' becuz ya damn 'lines are forced'
this dude a 'mental ship captain' and his 'mind off course'!
your setup was cool. but punch was offffffff!!
he to busy to joke wid my name to relize how sorry-he-sound
dude ill murder you straight up but no body-be-found
nice setup.. but punch.. No dude... your multies are forced man.. on this one.. but the punch is a nooooo. lol..
my 'body is steel' go ahead take a punch ill turn ya 'fist blu'
Yeah my 'name rings' but dont think that this 'Diss-missed/Dismissed U'
AND DONT' GET ME STARTED ON YOUR CLOSER you're closer needs to close STRONG!! this wasn't strong at all man, it was more self hypish than anything.. so what your name rings.. you could of flipped it more sickly. you know??
[/quote]
so tips you NEED TO WORK ON, THINK OUT SIDE THE BOX WITH MORE CREATIVE ****. **** LIKE I'LL KILL YOU WITH NO BODY TO BE FOUND? ISN'T HARD. MAN. LOL.. TAKE MY CRITISIM OR NOT.. but **** like this is what helped me to get better....
so yeah..
VOTES UP... lol and even if you get one vote. i'll be suprised..
