I f*cking quit!

Yeah, speaking of stupid ****....I remember how the United Way people would come around to all the companies, and pretty much demand a donation from everybody.

It was weird. The UW people scared me. They'd roll in like the f***ing Nazis. They'd have a meeting which everyone had to attend to hear their promotional talk and see their promotional film -- and everyone had to make a donation. They really pressured us.

All the bosses would say, "We have to have 100% participation!!" Why? Why can't you have 90% or 80% participation? What's wrong with that. The thing is, even the bosses seemed kind of scared of the UW people. WTF was up with that?

I remember watching one of their promo films once -- and they had this husband and wife -- both of whom had very good jobs -- and lived in an expensive area. Well, they were using United Way to get free daycare for their kid!! The hell? And the UW people actually had this in their dumb ass film as an example of all the good work they do.

Anyway, I guess it was a couple years later that all that scandal came out about UW and the way the organization was being run. Didn't surprise me at all.

I haven't seen any more of these "visits" from the UW at the workplace lately.

Yep, I also experienced the UW, we must have 100% participation!!!! brand of pressure. I was one of only two in my office (an insurance company in Rhode Island) who didn't participate. Boy, did we get looks -- but, sheesh, what idjits! -- they had a frickin' pizza party on Yom Kippur! Of course, the other person who didn't participate was the other Jewish person in the office.

Ach.

PS Went for a job interview about 2 years ago. It was a group thing and I'd never done that before. I work in IT, and it was for a travel company. So they made us do a number of stupid group exercises, including dropping an egg from a height, cushioned by something we'd made. I tend to be a talker in these sorts of things, so I was, and then was called in for a real interview and looked at the interviewer and said, "I'm a database person. What the heck was that all about?"

Anyway, didn't get that job (no big shock there) and am a lot happier where I am, but I do wonder about the corporate values at that other place sometimes. I mean, in IT, you either know your stuff, or you don't. And if you don't know your stuff, you're either trainable, or you aren't. And that's it! No teamwork exercise stupidity. You either can code, or run a database, or make slides or a website, or not. Nothing in between.

<shakes head>

Wow, great story, jespah. I don't know why or where some of the big corporate companies come up with such nonsense. Thankfully, the company I work for, although it is big and prosperous, does not seem inclined towards that type of dog and pony show.



Yes! I'm all for charity -- in fact, I always make a few charitable contributions every year -- without being pressured, thank you very much.

But that UW -- there was something strange going on there. I've noticed that ever since all that scandal came out about them, they don't pull that stuff any more. At least, not that I've seen. From what I've heard, they've made a real effort to change and clean up things in their organization.

(hearing about that for the 1st time...)

fess up -- what was your egg cushion fashioned after?

Oh God, the company I work for has so much of that crap it's ridiculous.

Every project, meeting, new policy has to have some kind of catchy name.

When memos come down from on high, the mucky mucks all have these idiotic nicknames for themselves, you know like from blockbuster movies and such.

It's all so undignified.
It's like a big propaganda engine.

Fortunately, I learned how to avoid much of it.


You know, one morning really early I had to stop by a Home Depot to speak to a manager about a problem. I was there at maybe 7am.

I found the manager having a group meeting on the floor with probably 15 employees. So I waited around for them to finish.

At the end of this meeting, everyone had to do this cheer "gimme a H, gimme a O, gimme a M, etc.
I was so embarrassed for them, it takes a LONG time to spell out home depot that way.

I wanted to look away so I wouldn't have to see their humiliation.
I did glance over a couple times, either the people were just kinda staring into space, doing the cheer, or a couple of them kept glancing over a me, I could tell they were really embarrassed.

Kicky, what you and your friends did was fabulous.

Drinkings straws (plastic), their wrappers, and some masking tape (the amount of masking tape was duly measured out by the group leader).

It was painful.

oh, now i get it.
they were giving you the recipe for egg drop soup...

Oh those stories are horrid, horrid, horrid. Infu*kingcredible.

I hear they've started pulling such nonsense in some Dutch corporate places too. Not as much as over there I'm sure. But it's coming.

Organisation I work for now is pretty corporate, but you wouldnt know it, here. But you should hear the stories about the New York office ... Talking about it was the only time my boss conspiratively looked down the hallways, closed the door, sat down with us and started venting.

Guess I'll just have to keep moving east to (avoid/refuse) it all. Till I hit Japan if need be.

I bet they were clueless as to why the company was going under, too.

Sheesh.

I guess they had more time than customers....

I had to do that egg exercise for 6th grade science. I'm sorry they did that to you, Jes.

I think that the range of bizarre interviewing techniques for IT is far and wide. It must stem from the inability to quantify the technical abilities of a candidate based on a conversation.

I had a friend in school back... gee, back around '83, whose subsequent job was as a coordinator for weekend corporate retreats. She told me about some of these sensitivity-camaraderie sessions they did... oh, barf. 1983 - in twenty plus years I suppose it has only gotten worse.

Kicky! This is your very last Monday on the job!! The very last Monday you will have to wake up and think, "God, not another week!"

Short timers attitude should well be kicked into high gear this week.

Be happy as happy can be, darlin...it's almost over!

Oh yeah...it's kickin' in nicely...

so do they actually expect you to do any work for them this week?

It is also one of the last times that I have to come in, go to the little mini-fridge, and find that some f*cking moron has turned the temperature down so much that the Sierra Mist that I left in there is now an icicle, even after I stuck a BIG NOTE ON THE FRONT OF THE FRIDGE ASKING THEM NOT TO DO THIS!!! It's not a goddammed freezer! Idiot! I'd love to find this rocket scientist and thaw out my drink by repeatedly banging the frozen bottle of soda against their thick skull.

But it is quite possibly the last time this will happen, so screw it.

Plus, I got an e-mail saying that it's time for our reviews, which is a whole bureaucratic nightmare of red tape and forms to fill out with buzzwords and bullshit. Ha! I NEVER HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE JPMORGAN REVIEW PROCESS AGAIN! F*CK...YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU, JPMORGAN!

testify...

Region, they keep giving me stuff to do, so, yeah, I guess they do. And I can't seem to help myself...I actually am still trying to do at least a semi-competent job on anything I get to do...dummy that I am.

and where do you think it came from to start with? Japan.

It's interesting to experience the differences in corporate cultures in companies with foreign ownerships. German and American and Canajun companies are very identifiable in their differences.

Another nice thing that happened today. This morning, when I logged in to my workstation, I got a message saying I have to change my password, as it is expiring in sixteen days. Ha! Sixteen days? In sixteen days I'll be sitting in a sidewalk cafe reading a book, eating Bufala mozzarella Caprese and beginning the process of erasing this shithole from my memory! Go F*ck yourself, JPMorgan Technology department! I will NOT change my password, BITCH!!!

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe you could take some time to find the best Arepas in town?

<and leave me a note so Noddy and I can go sample them>