Ha!
I just enjoy being a badass once in a while when its warranted (like, I have a history of browbeating young strong men who won't give up their bus seats for the elderly, infirm, or pregnant) but I kept coming back to what I want the long-term effect to be. They're
right there, and likely will be for a real long time.
No new developments to report, except that I had an interview for a job that if I get it would finally allow us to exhale, financially, and was just browsing the White Flower Farm site and ogling their shade plants -- man, I'd love to get a passel o' those and really get that yard hopping. In general, what I am looking forward to is not just maintaining what was there (competing with the results of frequent ministrations of the massive professional gardening team) but getting everything more in my direction. More colorful, more organic, more suited to the climate, etc.
Anyway, point there is that my thinking in this general category is less "what's WN's attitude now?" and more "man those ferns are purty."
(Aren't they?):
Ferns are wonderful. I've been tucking some under my Solomons Seal as I can afford them, and I love the way they look.
Native perennials <sigh> the only way to go - long-run - for me.
Ha!
Ya need a stooge to come by - and when NW is out there - speak very loudly about the good things you've done in the yard - and how much better it looks now than when you moved in ...
Eyep. The site says, "Ferns require little care and will thrive in many locations that would discourage fussier plants. Most prefer slightly acidy, woodsy soil and partial to full shade." That sounds just poifect.
Dreaming is fun, anyway. Can start small.
Oh just saw the stooge post -- so, dearie, when are you coming to visit TheBoy next...? ;-)
They certainly are lovely ferns. I like how they add a little texture to a too shrubby yard, if you know what I mean. I like hostas for the same reason. Well, that and my grandmother loved them, and she had the most beautiful yard in the world. Hers was not too manicured but just, nice, I guess. It made you want to stay outside.
I know just what you mean, yep.
New poison ivy developments, will put 'em on that thread I think...
I bought that assortment of ferns and it took several years to become established. After sixteen years I'm giving favored friends the overflow.
<patting hair, wondering if favoured friend status crosses borders>
ehBeth--
Just meet the bus at Port Authority--or stop by on the way to Ohio.
You mean that very same assortment?
Maybe I can spare $38...
Very same assortment--I think I paid $29 back in 1989.
Oh my goodness that woman is petrified of me!!
This is what I'm talking about, Thomas -- I don't deny that I can be scary, especially when I'm purposely scary, and occasionally when I'm just not trying not to be scary, but I swear I was SO nice to her and she is terrified.
Sozlet and I locked ourselves out. Sigh. Both sets of next-door neighbors have a spare key to our house, both tend to come home around five-ish. We hung out (beautiful day, no particular trial), and then around five I started looking for neighbors. Was of course hoping that it'd be north neighbors or at least HN, but sure enough the first one to drive up was WN. (We haven't spoken since the big Discussion.) Took a deep breath, thought oh well, it figures, and went over to talk to her.
She came out of her garage, body tensed, grim smile, "Hi!" and focused on her door. I called out, "We managed to lock ourselves out..." Mid-sentence she said, "I gotta get to the bathroom..." and barrelled into the house.
Fair enough.
Waited.
Waited some more.
Waited a SUPER long time (15 minutes?), realized she wasn't coming back out.
Went to check on whether the other neighbors were home yet... nope.
Tried to decide what to do. If she's THAT worried about interacting with me, probably not a good idea to force the issue...
But we're locked out! (Surprised it took us so long, we're in and out all the time and have those doors that can be unlocked from the inside but locked from the outside...)
Decided to go back again and see if she had let out the dog (what she usually does after work).
There she was, in a change of clothes, busily talking on the cell phone and darting glances around, visible dread when she saw me, then turning her back to continue on cell phone. I waited. She did the quick wave and started to go into her house again. I took a few steps forward, said, "Um, sorry to bother you..." (or something), and she finally put down cell phone and looked worried. I repeated the locked out thing. She said, "Oh!", and got the key.
Cool.
I unlocked the door, gave the key back to her. Some reasonable "thanks!"/ "that's fine" exchange, then she darted in again.
Anyway, the whole time she looked like she thought I was about to bite her head off.
She didn't say anything about the tremendous progress I've made on the yard (it's looking good!), but I didn't expect her to.
Meanwhile, just found out a bit more from north neighbors, including the absolute best comeback to all of this I could imagine...
Evidently WN had been complaining to north neighbors about us a while ago. NHN (north husband neighbor) said, "If it bothers you so much, why don't you offer to watch [sozlet] for a couple of hours so they can get some work done?"
I love that on SO many levels.
1.) Why don't you say something instead of stewing?
2.) Why don't you say something constructive?
3.) Do you have any idea how hard it is to do that kind of yard work (particularly, poison ivy-y yard work) with a 4-year-old underfoot?
4.) Do you have any idea how much E.G. works/ how little time sozobe has when she's not responsible for sozlet?
Anyway, was happy about that.
Noddy, that's a convincing endorsement, probably gonna get 'em. (Ooooh!! How exciting.)
Sozobe--
I have just the Halloween costume for you--Earth Goddess wreathed in poison ivy.
Trick or treat?
sozobe wrote:This is what I'm talking about, Thomas -- I don't deny that I can be scary, especially when I'm purposely scary, and occasionally when I'm just not trying not to be scary, but I swear I was SO nice to her and she is terrified.
I see. Then it must be that background radiation of evilness you routinely emanate without even trying.
Sozobe wrote:Tried to decide what to do. If she's THAT worried about interacting with me, probably not a good idea to force the issue...
But we're locked out! (Surprised it took us so long, we're in and out all the time and have those doors that can be unlocked from the inside but locked from the outside...)
Oh my -- this must have been very awkward on both levels, the lock-out and the interaction with your neighbor. But in my own, rarely competent but never humble opinion, you made the best of a bad situation. As uncomfortable as both of you felt this time, you have begun to condition her to see that sometimes, when you want to talk to her, it's really just routine neighborly stuff -- and that you won't actually bite her head off. If you had waited for Northern Neighbors to come home instead, you may not have talked to Southern Neighbor Wife until the next major incident. And
that would have conditioned her to believe that the only reason you ever talk to her is when there's some major kind of trouble. In the long run, it's probably much better things played out like they did today, even if they put you through that awkward dilemma.
Sozobe wrote:Evidently WN had been complaining to north neighbors about us a while ago. NHN (north husband neighbor) said, "If it bothers you so much, why don't you offer to watch [sozlet] for a couple of hours so they can get some work done?"
Very cool -- it's the kind of comeback I always
wish I had made, but never occurs to me until ten minutes
after the encounter.
Interesting about the keys.
I've been in this house about 8 years - have NEVER considered giving keys to my neighbours, and the only time I've heard of anyone having another neighbour's keys here was when a kid had them for a weekend to feed someone's cat.
~~~~~~~~~~
WN must be feeling even stupider now. Don't envy HN at all.
Yeah. It's one of those things that, if I had to do it all over again, I'd probably do differently. They offered us their keys right off, like within the first week -- the former homeowners had them after all. We felt churlish to not hand over ours -- well, I was hesitant, E.G. was gung-ho -- and so there went ours.
Gave spare to north neighbors more recently.
Interesting subtext to all of this in that E.G. is a product of the suburbs, I have a much more urban upbringing. South neighbors are suburban in many ways, while other people in this area are much more urban. His and my default ways of interacting with neighbors are different. I mostly want to be in keeping with the mores of this neighborhood without being too awkward/ untrue to my own mores.
Thomas, I agree about conditioning, good point. I've been open to talking to her throughout, but this is a good way to force the issue a bit (me standing around being open to talking wouldn't have done anything here) and have a non-threatening reason for it.
I posted this info on Linkat's topic about her neighbors and thought it might be of interest to those that participated in this old topic also.
There is a great Nolo Press book that you may wish to get from the library or purchase for yourself.
Here's a link to it on Amazon and a review from a law site:
http://www.amazon.com/Neighbor-Law-Fences-Trees-Boundaries/dp/0873376501
http://www.worldlawdirect.com/article/1154/neighbor-law-neighbor-disputes-book-review.html
Quote:Neighbor Law: Neighbor Disputes -- Book Review
By WORLDLawDirect [October 10th, 2006]
Book Title:
Neighbor Law: Fences, Trees, Boundaries & Noise (5th Edition) (Paperback) by Cora Jordan (Author)
Editorial Reviews:
Los Angeles Times "A great Nolo book that gives practical, no-nonsense approaches to handling neighbor disputes."
Orlando Sentinel "This classic book, which keeps getting better with each new edition, answers virtually all questions regarding fences, boundaries and noise."
Arizona Republic "Jordan peppers the book with real stories of problems neighbors have with each other. The stories are interesting and hilarious."
Book Description Is a neighboring business driving you crazy? Too much noise from next door? Run-off from up the hill threatening to drown your yard? Learn your rights and responsibilities with Neighbor Law, Nolo's clear-cut, comprehensive guide to the laws concerning common neighbor disputes.
The popular bestseller covers:
* fences * trees * boundaries * blocked views * noise * water issues * neighborhood businesses * dangers to children * and more
In plain English, Neighbor Law explains how to find the law in each circumstance and resolve disputes outside the court – but if you must go to small claims court, this popular book gives you the information you need.
The 5th edition is completely revised and now provides a new information on disputes about second-hand smoke. It also has a new chapter on researching the law online.
Table of Contents
Introduction: Neighbors and Legal Questions
1. Tackling a Neighbor Problem [Get Prepared – Approach the Neighbor – Turn to the Authorities for Help – Try Mediation – Take the Neighbor to Court]
2. Noise [Laws Against Noise – What to Do]
3. When a Tree Is Injured or Destroyed [Who Owns a Tree? – An Owner's Rights When a Tree Is Damaged – What the Tree Owner Can Sue For – Criminal Penalties – What to Do If a Neighbor Damages Your Tree – Preventing Damage]
4. Encroachment: Invading Branches and Roots [Looking for Help – Trimming a Neighbor's Tree: The Right of Self-Help – When a Neighbor Can Sue – Going to Court]
5. Unsound Limbs and Trees [Getting Help From the City Government – Trimming a Neighbor's Tree: The Right of Self-Help – Ask the Owner to Trim the Tree – Suing to Prevent Damage – Homeowners' Insurance – After Damage From an Unsound Tree]
6. Boundary Trees [Ownership – Co-Owners' Responsibilities – Damage to or Removal of a Boundary Tree]
7. Fruit and Nuts: Who Owns What? [Who Owns the Tree? – Fruit That Has Fallen – Avoiding Problems]
8. Obstruction of View [The Basic Rule: No Right to a View – View Ordinances – Subdivision Rules That Protect Views – Other Laws That May Protect Views – Views That Are Not Legally Protected – Avoiding View Problems]
9. Boundary Lines [Settling Uncertain Boundary Lines – When a Neighbor Doesn't Honor the Boundary]
10. Using Another's Land: Trespass and Easements [Trespassers – Who Become Owners Easements]
11. Fences [Rural Areas: Fencing Livestock In or Out – Urban Fences – Property Line (Boundary) Fences – Disputes Over Boundaries – Sharing a Fence That Is Not on the Boundary]
12. Spite Fences [General Restrictions on Fence Height – What Is a Spite Fence? – Negotiating With the Neighbor Going to Court]
13. Dangers to Children: Attractive Nuisances [The Attractive Nuisance Doctrine – Taking Necessary Precautions – Seeking Legal Help]
14. Rural Neighbors and the Right to Farm [Ordinary Nuisance Rules – Right-to-Farm Laws – What Neighbors Can Do]
15. Water [When the Neighbor Is Liable for Damage – When the Neighbor May Not Be Liable for Damage – What the Neighbor at Fault Must Pay For – What to Do If You Suffer Water Damage – Rights to Water]
16. When Your Neighbor Is a Business [Zoning Laws – Covenants, Conditions, and Restrictions – Home-Based Businesses – Other Laws Protecting You and Your Property – Expect a Compromise – What to Do When the Law Favors You – When the Law Favors the Business]
17. Other Common Neighbor Disputes [Blighted Property – Weeds, Rubbish, and Garbage – Loud and Offensive Language – Drug Dealers – Animal Problems – Second-Hand Smoke Vehicles – Outdoor Lights]
18. Legal Research [Local Laws – State Statutes – Case Law]
19. Mediation [What Is Mediation? – How to Find a Mediator – How Mediation Works]
20. Small Claims Court [What Is Small Claims Court? – Preparing for Small Claims Court – How Small Claims Court Works]
Appendixes
1. State Statutes on Injury to Trees 2. State Statutes on Private Nuisance 3. Boundary Fence Statutes 4. Adverse Possession Statutes 5. Right-to-Farm Statutes
Index
From the Back Cover Neighbors – They wouldn't be so bad if they didn't live next door...
Everything you need to resolve disputes with your neighbor, in or out of court.
About the Author Cora Miner Jordan earned her law degree at the University of Mississippi. A trained mediator, she is the author of Neighbor Law: Fences, Trees, Boundaries and Noise and co-author of Plan Your Estate.
It's been interesting to reread this thread.
Mmmmm, maybe soz will updzte.
