The Causes Of Homosexuality in men

I had crappy parents. I never had a good relationship with my father. and I had a pretty miserable childhood.

How do you explain my heterosexuality?

Which well established sources? You still have not answered the pointed question on this. You just replay what you feel and perhaps your very limited experience in this area -

You still have not explained why siblings within the same family including those that are twins could be one that is heterosexual and one that is homosexual as their environment would be the same.

And you still have not provided us your well established sources.

You view homosexuality as a mental aberration, you have said it is not healthy, and you post a load of discredited nonsense from the 1950s.

That makes you homophobic.

Good! Maybe it will stop showing up as 'new posts'.

Here is a definition of 'autodidact':

"At any time when a person is making a focused attempt to acquire new knowledge in a private setting, this is considered autodidacticism. So, by and large, when a person expresses a motivation or willingness to learn something, he or she is an autodidact."

With all due respect and also acknowledging your deep interest in this topic, I believe you have deceived yourself. You may be reading articles that have been discredited by experts due evolving knowledgeable information and if you are, chances are you were directed to read other articles or 'studies' that simply endorse the same discredited theory.

I would also encourage you to think about all of us (including you) who had parents. Very few people that I know had an ideal childhood, some had terrible parents or at least one terrible parent, many had parents who tried their very best to be good parents but missed the boat. Using your discredited theories all of us would struggle with sexuality as if our sexuality was something we could actually choose depending upon the temperament or foibles of our parents.

Maybe you are looking for a 'theory' that allows you to blame something or someone for your orientation? Let's say your mother was dominate (or whatever the trigger is supposed to be) so you thought you should become a homosexual. However, you don't find same sex relationships compelling and you are only attracted to the opposite sex.........does that mean you have CHOSEN to be a heterosexual? If these theories that have impressed you are true, why did you choose heterosexual orientation?

Does that make sense to you? Of course not, or at least it shouldn't make sense. Being self taught can be a wonderful thing, but if you don't have anyone to challenge your preconceived notions or erroneous conclusions all you are really doing is perpetuating discredited information.

I've Expressed my knowledge and opinion. I believe those are the causes of homosexuality - poor relationships with the father and controlling, over protecting mother. this combination makes the child unsecure, dependent, crave acceptance and love from a male figure and rejecting relationships with women, who's the boy consider as controlling, annoying and egoistic. Those unconscious beliefs prevent the boy from developing heterosexual orientation and relationships and moves him in the direction of homosexual orientation. I say what needs to be changed are those negative beliefs - "women are controlling and egoistic", "I am not a man enough", "Something is defected about me", "Women sees me as weak and uncapable", "In relations the man is servant of the woman, where's she does almost nothing for him" etc. Those are limiting and untrue beliefs causing unhealthy emotional and behavioral patterns of being such as anger, frustration, fear, anxiety, pressure, melancholy etc. Those beliefs need to be changed to more positive ones ("I'm strong and capable", "women are kind and decent", "relationships are empowering" etc), in order for the man to feel much better about himself and have much healthier emotional and behavioral patterns of being.

You haven't expressed any knowledge, the exact opposite in fact, pure ignorance.

Ignorant people tend to be opinionated.

You've expressed opinion only - maybe just perhaps your knowledge if all you have is say one or two examples.

Have you looked outside your own little circle? Do you really want to gain further knowledge and understanding? Or do you just want someone to agree with your Opinion.

Opinion is completely different than facts. So obviously you do not have any established sources to provide - you made it quite clear that you are only expressing your extremely little experience.

I think you and Jgoldman would have a fabulous conservation with each other. Anyone else on here even if they disagree would at the very least consider something outside their immediate circle.

There can be no further conversation here as you seem unwilling to consider any other source of information other than your opinion and your small circle of personal experience.

So like the others - I am out!

Blah, blah, blah. Rinse, lather, repeat.

I only clicked on this because I saw your name and you made me laugh out loud. What a ridiculous premise.

Let me ask you a couple of questions:
1.) Generally speaking, did you felt loved and appreciated by your father?
# If so (at least to some degree) then it had positively affected you emotionally and in developing normative heterosexual orientation.

2.) Did you appreciate your father as a child/teenager and to some extant saw him as a raw model?
#If so (at least to some degree) then it had positively affected you emotionally and in developing normative heterosexual orientation.

3.) *Did your mom was overly concerned and limiting about your activities? (warning you from getting injured, wanting you to get back home early etc)
# If so, it had negatively affected you and contribute to becoming dependence, insecure and emotionally weakened.

*If she did, did you rebelled and did whatever you wanted anyway, despite her concerns and prohibitions?
# If so (at least to some degree) then it had positively affected you emotionally, becoming a strong man, secure in himself, confident, independence and strong (and developing hetero' orientation).

4.) Did your father was the ruler of the home or was it your mother? and did your mom was humiliating toward your father?
# If your father was the ruler of the house then it had affected you positively in developing heterosexual orientation, as you've experienced masculine power and dominance from your father, which had been a good example for you as a boy.

These are awful questions, but I will answer them anyway. My mother was violent and abusive, my father was passive. So, I break your paradigm.

The problem here is this...

1. You are staring with a belief and then looking for facts to support it.
2. You are ignoring all of the obvious facts that refute your belief
3. There are lots of gay men who had great families and strong father's, and there are straight men who had weak fathers.

If you really cared about gaining knowledge, this one would be pretty easy to figure out.

Just a general comment... If you want to learn, you need to open yourself up to more than one perspective. The people who know the most about what it is like to be a gay man are the people who are living good lives as gay men.

Read Dan Savage for example.

Well, I'm a trained NLP master and learned a lot by myself. Those ideas came from deep study on the subject of homosexuality. It's hard to treat homosexuality and so people want to exempt themselves from dealing with it, by saying it's genetically determined, whereas the truth is that sexual orientation is influenced mostly by psychological factors. Those are mainly the nature of the relationships of the boy with his father and his mother.

Ok, so your father was relatively passive and your mother was more dominant in the house. But you've still haven't answered:
1. Did you felt loved and appreciated by your father growing up?
2. Did you loved your father as a child and teenager?
3. Did you rebelled and fought back against your mother control and abuse?
Another one - Did your parents generally supported you in developing masculine traits - that is encouraging sports activities, play with boys your age, assertiveness etc?

I do try to open my mind as best as I can. I believe sexual orientation is determined by psychological factors and open to talk about it as much as needed.

Is NLP even considered a legitimate science. It seems more like a cross between Scientology and Voodoo.

Hopefully an aroma therapist will be along to put us all right.

Those are extremely personal questions to ask a stranger on the Internet.

All you’re doing is trying to confirm your own prejudices with discredited research and new age quackery.

Your mind is closed, watertight. You can’t accept that you could be wrong or that you’re homophobic. Instead of considering that possibility you dig your heels in and start asking intrusive questions that you have absolutely no right to do.

It’s dishonest and sneaky, and the only person you’re fooling is yourself.

That would be the cherry on top of the sundae.

It’s obvious what the cause of homosexuality is in men, it’s not having basil and lavender oil applied liberally during adolescence.

Lesbianism is caused by random duck attacks.

Right big bastard ducks.