Is being too strong a weakness?

Reply Tue 16 Jul, 2013 01:29 am
I am generally a strong person mentally. But recently I have been feeling that this is making me weak. Everybody comes with their problem and moaning to me and I listen. I generally don't tell anybody about my problems and most of the time I will manage my own problems. But just because I never let out anything, people seem to take it for granted that I will be OK and fantastic all the time. Nobody is ready to listen to me and don't even consider it. My parents think I can handle any situation and they don't need to worry about me. My friends think they can come up to me with any problems and I will solve their problems but they never seem to see the problems within me. All they see is I'm happy always and I don't need any support.

But its not. I have my own problems and just because I don't vent it out doesn't mean I don't need any support. My parents, friends everybody think that way and there is none to even support me or stand with me. When people feel so sorry and considerate for other's lesser known pains and sufferings,nobody is ready to even acknowledge my grave problems that I have been going through.Even now I say I can handle any situation. I can solve them on my own. What I want is people around me to acknowledge that I also have problems and they don't even do that. I have been listening other's problems, solving my own problems on my own and all of a sudden there is nobody to listen to me. Off late I am getting too irritated when people come to me with their problems. I feel like telling them to **** off but I am unable to do that. I have become so loner that I am venting it out here in a forum rather than to my friends.Tell me what should I do now? Does being too strong making me weak? Btw I am sorry for the long message.
Reply Tue 16 Jul, 2013 05:29 am
Quit lying to people, telling them that you've got everything under control.
0 Replies
Reply Tue 16 Jul, 2013 07:24 am
Yes, from our strengths come our weaknesses. You put yourself out there as the "wise one" and now are getting resentful that you can't get advice from other people. You also have an elevated perception about yourself in that you don't think these same people can ever give anything "back" to you. Are you hanging with losers?

Stop being the dumping ground to everyone's problems. There's nothing wrong with saying, "Gee, that's too bad. What are you going to do about that? I have no idea what to tell you"

Then start looking for people who ARE stronger, more educated than you are to befriend. There are people who are wiser than you out there, you know.
0 Replies
Reply Tue 16 Jul, 2013 09:25 pm
Self isolation is not uncommon, but it brings unnecessary pain.


From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

~Edgar Allan Poe
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Reply Wed 17 Jul, 2013 03:36 am
The strongest people on earth are the most vulnerable. It takes courage & strength to be open about who you are - which opens you to both acceptance and rejection / criticism.

Conversely - hardness is the creation of walls. Walls aren't 'strength', for walls are created out of fear.

Are you sure what you haven't built is walls?

You see - if you want advice from people - you have to allow them in. Walls prevent that.

Most walls are in the form of 'fight, flight, or freeze'. In other words, you can have a wall that causes you to do any of the following (depending on it, and your nature) :
- attack others who raise a subject that hits your wall
- avoid the subject (by diverting to another topic)
- ignoring the subject (eg pretending it doesn't exist)

Just as importantly - walls have an internal reaction too. We have an internal dialogue & emotional reaction to any wall that gets hit / activated.

Do you have walls that won't let people in?

Also, why do you think you feel trodden over? And why do you feel you cannot stand up for yourself?
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Reply Tue 23 Jul, 2013 02:36 pm
Having power in itself is a weakness on all degrees. It's up to you to decide if those weaknesses will be eliminated.
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Reply Sun 3 Nov, 2013 09:16 pm
1. A cuckolded man sabotaged his wife's lover's employment records which brought his wife back to him.
2. A neighborhood maid was engaged in extra-marital love affairs with various married men, prompting the jilted wives to form a nihilistic coven.
3. A movie star was so overwhelmed by the pressures of acting that he took lavish European vacations.

These three stories explore the subtle frailties associated with the temptations of self-satisfaction. When we seek self-satisfaction, are we in danger of myopia?

To balance confidence (or strength) with humility, we need stimulation to creatively seek balanced perspectives. Could a self-transformation paranoia-themed Hollywood (USA) movie such as "The Incredible Shrinking Woman" (1981) help?
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Romeo Fabulini
Reply Mon 4 Nov, 2013 06:17 am
Ex-SAS man Bear Grylls (below) is as tough as nails yet we saw him in tears on TV when his mate went missing in a powered hang glider in the Himalayas.
So yeah it's fine to be strong, and tears are no sign of weakness.
Grylls could have asked them to cut the crying bit out of the film but he wanted it left in, what a man..Smile
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