Phobia of her

What possible difference would it make to someone not legally committed to someone how many sexual partners they have had. If this question was asked of me i would drop this person like a hot potato.

Makes a lot of difference to me, I may be a little different than most people, but still I’m concerned with health and well being .

What, the rest of us aren't? Are you really saying that you're the ONLY one on this ole big planet that is concerned about their health and well being?

I'm not all that sure what's driving all this. You need to actually get real here. So, what gives?

Probably not the only one but maybe the only one that takes it to this extreme, if I was to have had sex with her all I would’ve thought of was images of her past.

Does this happen a lot to you when you think about having sex, or only as it applies to this particular person?

Just this person in particular, but. The others I knew their history was on par with mine.

I know some of this ones history, but , there’s some I don’t know about im sure.

I think it’s more about some of my friends that had been with her years ago that’s really what’s triggered my issue with her.

If you're so adamant about not wanting to let go of her past, why are you seeing a future with dating her?

I don’t see one , I can’t mentally get past it.

I haven’t talked to her about it yet, but I plan to on Wednesday.

And what do you plan on saying?

I don’t wanna be mean about it, or hurt her feelings at all... after all I do care deeply about her, I have no idea on how to end this , I really don’t!

If you don't have something planned to say, you'll blurt out something awful. The truth will do: at this time, you're not ready to advance the relationship. Keep it short. Keep it simple. Don't blame, look for excuses or give her hope you can remain friends. It's best to go and not look back.

I agree . Thank you

Spoke to her today on this issue, she wanted to know why I wouldn’t touch her...

I explained that I couldn’t get over what she’d done 15+ years ago and who’d she done that with... She doesn’t understand what that has to do with us as a couple, and why it would even matter..

It matter because I’m not being made fun of for being with her,
I tried pleading my case as to I can’t see her ever being mine since she’d been theirs at one time...

As I don’t wanna go where others have already been. She doesn’t understand any of it and wants to get me through this because she loves me !

Who is making fun of you?

Has anyone actually done it to your face or is it just your imagination?

Friends rumbling behind my back

Well, you did everything you set out to do, which was to humiliate and shame her for her past.

It sounds more like an ambush, she didn't even see it coming. Of course people getting dumped in such a way will not understand. You led her on, pretended you cared, all the while thinking she's a piece of ****.

SMDH.

Negative on all of that, I didn’t dump her, humiliate her or any of the such.

She wants us to work to move past this hangup, she’s very caring and loyal. No, she doesn’t understand my thought process though.

So there's no proof of anything just your own paranoid imaginings.

If you're really serious you need to go in for some form of therapy.

This won't solve itself if it can be solved that is.

Exactly how would someone process this:



How is that not assigning blame or humiliation of behavior she cannot possibly take back now?

Idk

We will see how this goes, maybe I’m overreacting.