Phobia of her

More about not putting any part of my body on her where someone else has had their private parts.

Well, other than a virgin, at the age of 37, you must realize that women will have some sexual experience, correct?

Yes.

As long as it was protected sex, I don’t have an issue.

Which one of these statements is the more accurate of your beliefs?

The latter, first was just a quote of how most think

But you think that as well, correct?

No I do not

Most do, not me at all !

I don't think you're being truthful here.

You started off with "I think" and are now backtracking. Your OP says "phobia" something that can be overcome with therapy/training. But if it's a personal belief to not date women that's had a number of sexual partners that you think is excessive, that won't go away.

Being truthful in regards to not wanting a woman that’s been exsposed to someone else’s sperm...
I find it to be a major hangup for me, most if not all woman in my age range have had unprotected Intercourse and/or given head at some point by now.

That’s what my phobia is , I can’t be in a relationship with someone like that.

What would you like to do about that?

Something? Nothing? What is your End Game here?

Lee
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with setting limits on your sexual activity.
You just might prefer “vanilla sex” and need to find a partner who also has that preference. Nothing wrong with that.

( Just don’t use germs as the reason why you prefer not to participate in oral sex. As you can tell from the above responses, it’s a false reason)

Perhaps this “crush” girl is not the one for you. I’m suspecting her past, including being sexually active , probably including oral sex with your friends, is the real repulsion. Accept this as a disappointment and move on.

Idk

Well, I don't think you should force yourself to do something that you find so distasteful.

What's wrong is you're contemplating entering a relationship with someone whose past you disapprove of.

You will make her life miserable, constantly criticising who she was with and what she did before you was with you.

Nobody can change their past, you can't get over her past, all you'll do is punish her and make her miserable.

So your saying she’s actually innocent and clean ?

I don’t see how she can be mine if she’s been everyone else’s also, too many partners for me. I don’t need them laughing behind my back over it..

I’m just going to call it quits with her and be done with it altogether..

Was hoping someone would validate my reasoning but I guess not.

Innocent and clean are terms you've come up with.

I'd say she's pretty normal.

You have serious issues.

Nobody laughs behind someone's back just because they're dating their ex.

Leaving her alone is the right thing to do now.

You honestly think any ex of hers gives enough of a damn about anyone she's dating?

How are we to know if she's "innocent and clean"? Isn't that your job to assess since you're dating her? To me, what you're doing seems very mean and wrong. You knew about her past, yet still want to date her. Not just date, but to have sex with her. For what? To throw it in her face about her past? As if someone cannot outgrow who they were and learn from their mistakes? I'm not even sure she made mistakes but you're definitely up to the task to stone her for every thing she did, right or wrong, growing up.

You want validation to slut shame. You don't talk about her qualities she has, like her ability to make you laugh or her generous nature or even how intelligent she is. You know, the very real qualities that probably attracted her to you in the first place.

You don't talk about how YOU only think about sex. No, that's taboo. That's for everyone ELSE to discuss because you're just so much better than the rest of us. You're had sex with THREE women! (GASP!!) You whore!! You're DIVORCED! You're a DISGRACE! You can't have a lasting relationship! That just PROVES you're damaged goods!

How does it feel to have the shoe on the other foot? How does it feel to have your past drug out and stomped on like you're a piece of dirt? Does it make you happy? Feeling rather disparaged and it's unfair of me to make those claims?

Look, people arrive with baggage. You're not some teenage heartthrob going through a first crush. You're well past your teenage years, it's time to let go of a childish notion. At the time period of over 35, you're going to meet up with potential partners who've had sex before. It's not the end of the world.

Either accept her, ALL of her, or let her go. She doesn't need your perpetual negative view of her past to be how she's seen through your eyes.

Has other great qualities, is very fun to be around, is a great person, friend, just a total joy for me to be in her presence.

She's not the problem.

You're the one who can't see beyond her past.

Your obsession with sex sounds very much like prurience. It may even be a mental condition, but while you have this attitude you should stay away from anyone who's had more partners than you.

Maybe you should post a profile listing the amount you've had and insisting that all potential partners have had less.

That way you can let people know what being with you is like.