Making the First Move? / Neverending Advice & Hints....

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Please feel free to add whatever love/first meeting/relationships advice you want to this thread...thanks!

For example:

You're at the gym or coffee shop or store or whatever.

You think a girl is checking you out...kinda. She's kinda smiling your way, but maybe not. C'mon guys, you know you been there. Its just that subtle quick glance & smile.

How do you make the first move without making the fool?

How do you know she's most likely interested & ready to talk?

I've been in this situation, and sometimes it turned out that indeed she was interested in me and we ended up in a relationship. Other times, same situation, seems like same smile...and her damn boyfriend walks up 20 seconds after you start talking to her. Fool.

How can you tell the difference?

Ladies--any insight? How do you let a guy know in no uncertain terms to "come hither?"

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mmm...difficult...depends where u are really...if she smiles at you, smile back. If you're in a shop or something and she's looking at something, then walk over beside her and pretend to be looking at something close on the shlef (Careful wot ur looking at though...might look a little bit strange if you somehow find urself looking at lipstick or something...!)
U could also casually brush past her... get as close as you can, subtley, and gently, don't barge...this is all the advice I have to offer, sorry!!

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Quote:

How do you make the first move without making the fool?

You really don't know. But life is a series of risks. If the girl looks interesting, and interested, take the chance. You are not making a fool of yourself, as long as you conduct yourself with subtlety.

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<Points to Phoenix>

That's what I was going to say.

There have been times I've had no idea a guy was there or was actively uninterested when I've been told I was sending "signals" of interest. There have been times that what I thought were terribly blatant signals were not picked up (even by people I did later connect with -- "huh? At Jen's party? Really?")

If I was interested, I'd just do something about it. If he was interested, I'd expect the same. Absolutely nothing wrong with expression of interest as long as an "oh... no, sorry" is gracefully received.

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Indeed...much more simply put than my post...

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Also less personalised...more general...anyway!!

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FROM MY EXPERIENCE IVE FOUND OUT A COUPLE OF THINGS ONE IS THAT FEMALES ARE FICKLED IF THEY HAVE A BOY FREIND THEY WILL LOOK AT WHATS ON THE MENUE WHEN HES NOT AROUND THEY WILL EVEN STARE WITH THAT LOOK OF LOVE AND NOT RELIZE THAT THEY ARE DOING IT THEY ALSO AT THE SAME TIME WILL FANTISIZE ABOUT THE PERSON THAT THEY ARE LOOKING AT AND THAT CONFUSES THE GUY THAT LOOKING FOR THAT GIRL TO FILL HIS WORLD ITS A GAME OF TRIAL AND ERROR SHE LOOKS AT YOU GIVE IT A CHANCE WHAT SHE SAYS NO O WELL ON TO THE NEXT ONE AT LEAST YOUR BEING LOOKED AT. MAYBE THE NEXT WILL BE THE ONE BUT DONT TURN DOWN THE CHANCE EXPECIALLY IF SHES A LOOKER. AND GET THE CONFIDENCE UP SHES LOOKING ATLEAST. SO U KNOW U GOT IT GOING ON.

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AND BELIVE ME MOST GIRLS ARE FICKLED YOUNG AND OLD ALIKE

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AND EXPECIALLY THE GOOD LOOKING ONES THEIR THE WORST JUST PLAIN SILLY AND DUMB

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JLLLLLL wrote:

AND EXPECIALLY THE GOOD LOOKING ONES THEIR THE WORST JUST PLAIN SILLY AND DUMB

I wouldn't generalize all good looking women as "just plain dumb and silly." If a person is confident in who they are, they don't generally act like that. And alot of good looking people are pretty secure in themselves.

EM,

As to your question - you really "can't" know, beyond a doubt what is in the head of a girl that smiles at you. I pretty much smile at everyone I make eye contact with. Male and Female, alike. Unless I am in a bar. Then I avoid it.

BUT........If I am in a store or some place like that, and smile at a guy and he smiles back....he will generally stay within eyeshot of me. If he does this for very long and I am interested, I will walk up to him and start a conversation. It's really that simple.

Most girls will let you know if they are interested. NOT ALL.....but alot of them will. So my advice to you would be - after the first smile. Hang around a lil bit and see what happens. :wink:

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Wow, thanks for all the great advice so far.

So much better info asking girls about this, instead of guys..

We guys are really pretty clueless about it all, you know...well most of us. And the ones that are too smooth about it all, you may want to avoid...but what do I know

Its funny because I think there are some women who almost like to trick you with it. They're in the minority though...

Example: At the gym I go to, there's a lot of girls...yeah they all dress all skimpy strutting around and all that, and of course its bad form to actually look.

Anyway, there's this one that dresses even more skimpy than most. Beautiful, the barbie body, makeup, all that. I usually avoid those unless they just drop into my lap. They're trouble. Well there's this one that smiles and winks! at me every damn time I see her in the gym. The wink is almost over the top. And a big fat smile, following me with her eyes across the gym. So one day I finally go up and talk to her, and long story short she says thats her boyfriend across the gym.

Okay, fine. But why smile and wink and stare all that time? Are there some girls who just like to play that game? Really? I mean this is someone in her 20s. Are there some in there 20s that would still do this shyte? Why would they do this?

anyway, thanks! keep the hints coming, please!

:wink:

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I'm with ya, soz. It's amazing how some people assume that just being outgoing and friendly indicates a romantic interest. Sheesh, I treat everybody that way!

However, if I wink at someone, I'm definitely flirting!

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Eva wrote:

I'm with ya, soz. It's amazing how some people assume that just being outgoing and friendly indicates a romantic interest. Sheesh, I treat everybody that way!

However, if I wink at someone, I'm definitely flirting!

Thanks for that Eva.

When you say "flirting" here what does that mean?

Does it mean "come over here and talk to me, I wanna get to know ya"

or does it mean "Lets date"

or does it mean "hey I'm just letting you know you're kinda cute, bye now, don't bother me too much ok?"

or does it mean any or all the above?

see, guys are this clueless. yes, believe it...

When you flirt with someone, when you wink, does that mean you want to like, date them or???

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extra medium wrote:

Eva wrote:
I'm with ya, soz. It's amazing how some people assume that just being outgoing and friendly indicates a romantic interest. Sheesh, I treat everybody that way!

However, if I wink at someone, I'm definitely flirting!

Thanks for that Eva.

When you say "flirting" here what does that mean?

Does it mean "come over here and talk to me, I wanna get to know ya" Occasionally, yes.

or does it mean "Lets date" No!

or does it mean "hey I'm just letting you know you're kinda cute, bye now, don't bother me too much ok?" Usually, yes.

or does it mean any or all the above?

see, guys are this clueless. yes, believe it...

When you flirt with someone, when you wink, does that mean you want to like, date them or???

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Eva's got that right.

If I was supposed to date every guy I've ever winked at ... well, I'd have NO time to post, or work.

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Me neither!

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Pesonally, i am totally devoted to my sweetiepie, and i would never, ever, ever flirt . . .

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<open the doors of hell>

that boy's lying again

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Eva wrote:

extra medium wrote:

When you say "flirting" here what does that mean?

or does it mean "Lets date" No!

well exuuuuuuussssssse me! :wink:

But really, thanks.

Thats why they call it an art I guess.

So, here we are. Thats my original question, really: How does a guy know when you're smiling a "hi-bye" smile,
OR a "get over here and talk to me" smile?

If there was a guy you really wanted to get to know, how would you let him know?

Say you're in a bookstore or coffee shop or something, may never see him again, this is your one chance... How would the guy know?

I get these smiles all the time....I almost never come up to them, cause I figure they're like Eva here...ha ha ha, but I know damned well some of them probably wanted more...I may have missed my soulmate!

So you see how us guys sort of get "trained to be a playa"?

We gotta go up to every girl that smiles at us, cause otherwise how the hell we gonna know who is just saying "hi" and who is saying "I wanna get to know ya"

Cause if you just smile a little smile at a lot of guys, he's probably thinking that's just a "hi-bye" smile--and unless he's a playa type, he's probably not going to come up to you based on a coy little smile...

Thats the ironic thing--you end up meeting more playas like that, cause give them any little smile and they'll be on you like a vulture...!

See the dynamics going on above?

A single guy is sort of being socially trained to go up to every friggin girl that smiles at him that he might like. Cause he doesn't know what she means by that smile.

And then you get the girls like the ones above (not Eva--someone else above) who get pissed when a guy thinks a smile is an invitation to talk---cause sometimes it is...

Okay, I'm not asking you to agree with me here ladies, but do you see the situation were in? Damned if you do, damned if you don't

So, the bold ones of us: Do!

And then get called playas! (other option is to be the shy loser or just "aw nice guy" who never goes up to 'em)

yak yak yak i know, but how many times do guys and girls get a chance to talk anonymously about this shyte?

Comments?

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extra medium wrote:

Eva wrote:
extra medium wrote:

When you say "flirting" here what does that mean?

or does it mean "Lets date" No!

well exuuuuuuussssssse me! :wink:

But really, thanks.

Thats why they call it an art I guess.

So, here we are. Thats my original question, really: How does a guy know when you're smiling a "hi-bye" smile, and a "get over here and talk to me" smile? A wink simply means, "I think you're attractive." Nothing more, nothing less.

If there was a guy you really wanted to get to know, how would you let him know? I'd flirt, then go up and start a conversation.

Say you're in a bookstore or coffee shop or something, may never see him again, this is your one chance... How would the guy know? See above.

I get these smiles all the time....I almost never come up to them, cause I figure they're like Eva here...ha ha ha, but I know damned well some of them probably wanted more...I may have missed my soulmate!

So you see how us guys sort of get "trained to be a play"?

We gotta go up to every girl that smiles at us, cause otherwise how the hell we gonna know who is just saying "hi" and who is saying "I wanna get to know ya"

Cause if you just smile a little smile at a lot of guys, he's probably thinking that's just a "hi-bye" smile--and unless he's a playa type, he's probably not going to come up to you based on a coy little smile...

Thats the ironic thing--you end up meeting more playas like that, cause give them any little smile and they'll be on you like a vulture...!

See the dynamics going on above?

A single guy is sort of being socially trained to go up to every friggin girl that smiles at him that he might like. Cause he doesn't know what she means by that smile.

And then you get the girls like the ones above (not Eva--someone else above) who get pissed when a guy thinks a smile is an invitation to talk---cause sometimes it is...

Okay, I'm not asking you to agree with me here ladies, but do you see the situation were in? Damned if you do, damned if you don't

So, the bold ones of us: Do! That's right! You gotta take your chances and talk to them. If they're not interested, you haven't lost anything by asking. Same thing works for women, BTW.

And then get called playas! (other option is to be the shy loser or just "aw nice guy" who never goes up to 'em)

yak yak yak i know, but how many times to guys and girls get a chance to talk anonymously about this shyte?

Comments?

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Making the First Move? / Neverending Advice & Hints....

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