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When does it become a lie?

 
 
Reply Fri 22 Feb, 2019 12:45 pm
Truthfulness is the most important thing in a relationship. If you have a situation where your boyfriend has been historically less than fully transparent but seems to have really changed, what do you think of this below?

He is supposed to transfer money from a non interest bearing account to a money market account - this money is all he has in terms of assets and it's a limited amount.

He tells me he will transfer all of it except some vacation money he insisted he wanted to pay for an upcoming trip of ours.

When I first asked him he said he transferred most of it but wanted to leave some in his checking account to cover a few things until he got more payroll deposits. That was a month ago, so is this a lie? He never bothered to transfer a good share of it into the savings and the money is just sitting in his checking account. This may seem trivial but I will NOT MOVE forward with him if I hear 1 more lie!!

What do you think?

 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Fri 22 Feb, 2019 03:14 pm
Oh FFS
https://able2know.org/topic/497162-1#post-6793621
A widow
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Feb, 2019 09:22 pm
@jespah,
What does FFS mean?
A widow
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Feb, 2019 09:33 pm
@perplexed728,
perplexed728,
The liars game is a big drag. I see on this web site that a lot of people give veryshort responses that may or may not have much merit. In fact, I think many of them are scarcatic jack off type comments.
Your concern, however, has caught your attention. Honesty is most important in any relationship. The way I measure that is with continuity. If someone demonstrates what they say, then all is well. When there is lack of continuity (for any reason) red flags go off in my head!!!!!!
It sounds like your partner has not demonstrated what he said he was going to do. Perhps he means well and he's lazy. Perhaps he's waiting for the last minute. Perhaps he's a procrastonator by habit. Perhaps he's lying. It's hard to acuse someone of being a liar, when in fact, his behavior could be based on a number of reasons.
What is important to you, however, is you are noticing his inconsistency. There are a number of questions you may want to ask yourself. Why is this important to you? Is it the money? The trip? His loyalty to you? Or your values? Perhaps your values in your life place high regard for continuity of words and action. I belive they must match.
You might want to take note of how you feel about this charactor trait with your partner, and see if he does this in other areas of his life as well. Perhaps he's not the guy for you. Or perhaps it's a faux pas issue that goes along with other meaninless neuances.
Good luck to you.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  5  
Reply Sun 24 Feb, 2019 07:36 am
@A widow,
It means for ****'s sake.

This same woman has created numerous accounts with very slight variations, all about her lying, thieving (according to her own postings, the guy stole $$ from his elderly mother) boyfriend (they are both in their 60s if I recall correctly), how her daughter, who realizes the guy is only out for her retirement fund and to get on her health insurance "doesn't seem to understand".

I have no idea why she keeps posting. The advice hasn't changed, to throw the bum out. Actually, I take that back, she has even been told everything is sunshine and roses, exactly what she wants to hear, and it doesn't matter, she rarely if ever responds and then comes around in about 6 to 8 weeks and posts yet another slight variation with yet another username.

And I'm the problem child?
Sturgis
 
  4  
Reply Sun 24 Feb, 2019 07:54 am
@perplexed728,
Quote:
What do you think?


Trust me, you don't want to know what I think of all this repetitive drivel.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Sun 24 Feb, 2019 05:17 pm
@jespah,
She has posted on another site too. Different slant of the story, but I’m sure it’s her. Now it’s about how much the daughter hates him , and another about how this guy wants to take her special needs adult son to a strip club, and is that all right.

0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Sun 24 Feb, 2019 05:20 pm
@perplexed728,
perplexed728 wrote:


What do you think?



that you want to complain about the situation and don't want to do anything

please give printouts of your years of posts here and elsewhere and give them to your therapist
izzythepush
 
  3  
Reply Mon 25 Feb, 2019 03:31 am
@ehBeth,
ehBeth wrote:

please give printouts of your years of posts here and elsewhere and give them to your therapist


Then she can give them to her daughter as proof that she's incredibly irritating and the fact she's found someone willing to put up with it is a miracle in itself.
glitterbag
 
  3  
Reply Mon 25 Feb, 2019 11:14 am
@izzythepush,
You folks made me laugh, then I felt a little guilty.
0 Replies
 
 

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