10
   

Bizarre dating stories welcomed!

 
 
Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Thu 1 Feb, 2018 10:29 am
@James3270,
I like Chai quite a lot. Not sure it's requited... The discussion above didn't go very well. I tend to focus on points of disagreement when debating someone but it's well recognised that stressing areas of agreement is equally important in keeping an exchange going productively. I don't do that enough. Like she's right that one's attitude to sports is an important consideration when looking for a good match of character.

I personally would have no problem with dating a serious ping pong player. I like ping pong myself, could play her and get beaten each and every time but it'd be interesting. However, I could not for the sake of me take a dedicated baseball player or fan seriously, because I dislike baseball.

Pitty you're a man... :-)
Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Thu 1 Feb, 2018 10:35 am
@JustNonsenseAndSugar,
Quote:
he swiped at my face with my pen knife

?!? You mean he cut your face? Or he made a gesture with the penknife, at a good and safe distance from your face, as a warning, to scare off an assaillant? How far was he from you when swiping the knife?
JustNonsenseAndSugar
 
  1  
Reply Thu 1 Feb, 2018 10:48 am
@Olivier5,
It was close enough I had to lean back from it
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Thu 1 Feb, 2018 01:03 pm
@Olivier5,
Olivier5 wrote:

I like Chai quite a lot. Not sure it's requited... The discussion above didn't go very well. I tend to focus on points of disagreement when debating someone but it's well recognised that stressing areas of agreement is equally important in keeping an exchange going productively. I don't do that enough. Like she's right that one's attitude to sports is an important consideration when looking for a good match of character.

I personally would have no problem with dating a serious ping pong player. I like ping pong myself, could play her and get beaten each and every time but it'd be interesting. However, I could not for the sake of me take a dedicated baseball player or fan seriously, because I dislike baseball.

Pitty you're a man... :-)


Olivier, you have obviously not been reading my posts carefully, or completely.
I have in fact wondered through our entire exchange why you keep insisting on addressing the subject of baseball. I have made it very clear, several times, that I'm talking about anything that a person has a passion about, and feels that they would be the most happy, content with someone who shared those interests. I have brought up religion, children, and other things as examples, but could it be any number of things.

That is why in a previous post I <sighed>, wondering aloud if you really didn't get what I was saying, or were just playing around. I see now it's the former. Not for my lack of explaining though.

Let me make this less specific. If person A has interest X that is very important to them, A would be very sensible to ask person B early on, before any relationship developed, if B shared it, to at least some extent. B makes lame joke Y about it, which is off putting at least to A. Person A decideds not to continue to view B as relationship material, is not interested even in casually dating, and so separates herself from situation.

As in any situation here, we only have the OP's take on it. Perhaps joking about interest X was just the last straw in a series of events. Maybe OP isn't even aware of that. Doesn't matter. It happened.

Should this woman have explained the why's of her not wanting to continue to see him. Maybe. I don't know. It's certainly not a requirement, regardless of how other people may feel about it. Personally I have no opinion. She had more had an idea of how he would react than we do, regardless of what he may say here, and for whatever reason it wasn't in her best self interest to get into it.

I do get the impression that making lame jokes for whatever reason may be a device of the OP's. Maybe when he doesn't know what else to say, or, I suspect in this case, to draw the subject back to him. This is evidenced by the observation, what he would call a joke, that the 2 of us "belong together" Based on what? The fact we exchanged posts directly to each other half a dozen times during this thread?

I suppose this would induce the OP, and or others, to comment on my lack of sense of humor. I see it as identifying maybe with what this woman felt when she asked a direct question about something important to her, (with us not knowing what else was going on at the moment) and got a not funny quip in return.

Ok, this reminds me of a perhaps bizarre (I just found it annoying) date I went on. So here goes.

In my late 20's for about 4 years, I had a job that afforded me the opportunity to meet a lot of new people, some obviously men. A number of them over that time would ask me for a date, and since I was unattached at the time, sure. I always made sure I had my own transportation, so staying or leaving was on my say so.

So went for drinks (I don't drink, he had like 2, so wasn't drunk), talked, and I made the decision to agree to go back to his place, taking my car and following him. I knew through my job where he worked, and felt safe doing this. See, I don't let "magic" get in the way of common sense.

Anyway without all the background of every single thing we talked about, he suddenly (and I mean suddenly) stared at my chest and said what a good mother I'd be. I think I said something like "Boy do you read me wrong" and I'm quite sure laughed.
For whatever reason, he started insisting I needed to have a child, that he had a vision of me holding a baby to me, and on and on. Really uncomfortable. I guess my breasts were telling him all this. I would have to have a talk with them later. (see, I do have a sense of humor).

I left as soon as possible, after explaining, and him denying, that I was not ever going to have a child, and do everything in my power to avoid that.

At least twice he called and left answering machine messages (yes it was that long ago), asking me out. My breasts wielded great power. I simply didn't return the calls, and he stopped calling. If it were today, I would have blocked him after the first call. Did I feel the need to provide his "closure"? **** no. Ain't nobody got time for that.

BTW, I don't think the discussion "didn't go well". I don't like it that you didn't pick up on what I thought was obvious (that I wasn't talking about baseball this whole time). I also have to wonder about what you feel is a necessity to keep stressing points of agreement. Maybe you were so busy doing that you were not paying attention to what I was saying.

Me personally, I have to wonder about the type of person (considering the compactness of our communication) who would need this constant reassurance the yes indeed, we have areas of agreement. Honestly? Once or twice I was very tempted to say to you words to the effect that "yeah yeah, we agree on that, how many time are you going to repeat it?" Because I'm half smart and heard you the first time. However, because we are not verbally talking, you wouldn't be able to see my face, hear my tone, and would probably not read the words with the correct intent. I know that because it happens all the time here. So instead I just kept plodding along, me not understanding what you weren't getting.

See? I've been doing what I guess this woman was "supposed" to do, offering all sorts of explanations that weren't heard, maybe because it wasn't what the OP wanted to hear. That is despite his protestations to us. Who knows if her shutting him out really did, from her viewpoint come out the blue, when if you asked her, she'd tell you she tried to let him know several times she wasn't interested. We just don't know.

I gotta go. I have to prepare a lot of shipments. Sales are really taking off.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Thu 1 Feb, 2018 02:26 pm
@Olivier5,
Olivier5 wrote:

But you said he was violent with you. How violent?




Just how much violence is acceptable?

Is it ok if someone just pushes you around? Over is the line crossed when someone pushes you and you slam your head on the wall? Maybe it's the fault of the person being pushed to let themselves get close enough to a hard object their head can hit, like a wall...or floor....or fist.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Thu 1 Feb, 2018 02:29 pm
@JustNonsenseAndSugar,
JustNonsenseAndSugar wrote:

It doesn't mean I should just leave him because he can't control his other personalities.


Well, actually yes, it does.

If he can't control something about himself, like whether he commits violence towards you, there's a problem.

Personally JustNonsense, I think you're full of **** and making stuff up.
Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Thu 1 Feb, 2018 02:51 pm
@JustNonsenseAndSugar,
That's no good. Seriously. You realize next time he could succeed and harm you for real? You're not masochistic, are you?

You can't sleep with this guy. If you really like him so much, to just hang out as friends is risky enough. To sleep in the same bed would be suicidal.
Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Thu 1 Feb, 2018 03:35 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
That is why in a previous post I <sighed>, wondering aloud if you really didn't get what I was saying, or were just playing around. I see now it's the former. Not for my lack of explaining though.

Apologies. My train of thoughts was unduly focused on baseball.

Quote:
Let me make this less specific. If person A has interest X that is very important to them, A would be very sensible to ask person B early on, before any relationship developed, if B shared it, to at least some extent. B makes lame joke Y about it, which is off putting at least to A. Person A decideds not to continue to view B as relationship material, is not interested even in casually dating, and so separates herself from situation.

Fine, I agree with this. It's the kind of things that happen, a banal piece of ordinary life. Perfectly understandable.

Quote:
Should this woman have explained the why's of her not wanting to continue to see him. Maybe.

After two dates ending with some kissing, and a week of courtship and texting about small things, she goes totally dead on him after he cracked a joke. I'm out of the dating business but in my youth this was considered a bit... cavalier? disrespectful?

Quote:
This is evidenced by the observation, what he would call a joke, that the 2 of us "belong together" Based on what? The fact we exchanged posts directly to each other half a dozen times during this thread?

Yes, I found that strange too.
Quote:
he started insisting I needed to have a child, that he had a vision of me holding a baby to me, and on and on. Really uncomfortable. I guess my breasts were telling him all this. I would have to have a talk with them later.

Now that you mention it, I may need to talk to them too, to get a more rounded view of the situation.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Thu 1 Feb, 2018 06:37 pm
@Olivier5,


Quote:
Should this woman have explained the why's of her not wanting to continue to see him. Maybe.

After two dates ending with some kissing, and a week of courtship and texting about small things, she goes totally dead on him after he cracked a joke. I'm out of the dating business but in my youth this was considered a bit... cavalier? disrespectful?


Sure, maybe it's desrespectful, cavalier, but it's what happened. I can't fault her even if she was being either of the above. Her life, her way of acting in her self interest.

Besides we don't know, as Paul Harvey always said "The rest....of the story"

Was it just that he cracked a joke? Who knows? Maybe not even the OP.

If there's one thing I've learned in life, is that when someone I thought I had a handle on who they were on does something totally out of what I believed their character was, it's me that was lacking. Sure, it might be nice to understand the why of some things. The problem is, my beliefs in how things "should be done" could keep getting in the way of the reality of why something happened.

We want to understand why something happened, but only if it somehow fits into a slot that we are already comfortable with. Sometimes we don't understand because, well, it's just not cooperating with our world view.

chai2
 
  1  
Reply Thu 1 Feb, 2018 06:38 pm
@Olivier5,
Olivier5 wrote:



Now that you mention it, I may need to talk to them too, to get a more rounded view of the situation.


<snort>

Good one.
Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Fri 2 Feb, 2018 02:55 am
@chai2,
Quote:
We want to understand why something happened, but only if it somehow fits into a slot that we are already comfortable with. Sometimes we don't understand because, well, it's just not cooperating with our world view. 

Well yes, by definition of what "to understand" means in this context. The point i guess is that it wouldn't hurt if the two traditional genders (plus all the "non-binary" crowd) would understand each other a little better. Hence the need for explaining stuff.

In the OP case the only "weird" thing is a lack of closure. That's why James is still puzzled, years after.
0 Replies
 
Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Fri 2 Feb, 2018 04:42 am
@chai2,
I shouldn't push this too much, i'm not totally clueless re. it being risqué, but this guy got into a prophetic transe just staring at the sheer magnificence of your bosom... No small feat. God only knows what more your boobs could tell.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Fri 2 Feb, 2018 05:48 am
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
Personally JustNonsense, I think you're full of **** and making stuff up.


Does that mean you don't think she's a vampire either?
0 Replies
 
JustNonsenseAndSugar
 
  1  
Reply Fri 2 Feb, 2018 08:21 am
@chai2,
And thats your opinion
0 Replies
 
JustNonsenseAndSugar
 
  1  
Reply Fri 2 Feb, 2018 08:24 am
@chai2,
He himself is not violent with me. Kris is not. His others are but I stay away when he is not him.
0 Replies
 
JustNonsenseAndSugar
 
  1  
Reply Fri 2 Feb, 2018 08:26 am
@Olivier5,
I will not stay away from him just because his others don't like me. His personality of Kris is kind and loving. Funny and flirty and listens better than anyone I've ever met. His others may not like me but I am not going to leave Kris just because I'm afraid of them.
Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Fri 2 Feb, 2018 04:45 pm
@JustNonsenseAndSugar,
It's your life, it's for you to live it, and I can't help finding you brave and generous and all that, but... I'm just scared for you, that's all. Wish you the best.
0 Replies
 
Medusax
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Mar, 2018 07:18 pm
@James3270,
This is something I have never experienced. I have never had a "bad" date. I have had some that were more interesting than others, naturally, but nothing "bizarre". It seems that most people I know have at least one horror story. Of course I didn't "date" that much. Now, bad relationships? Yes.
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

dating a friend - Question by DrumW22
Online dating question - Question by Tyler888
I'm 31 and bad at sex - Question by BadAtSex
Is he into me?? - Question by AnnaVenice
help is appreciated - Question by kevanc tarkan
I can't change who i am - Question by Kaykae97
 
Copyright © 2022 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.04 seconds on 08/09/2022 at 07:44:48