I like Chai quite a lot. Not sure it's requited... The discussion above didn't go very well. I tend to focus on points of disagreement when debating someone but it's well recognised that stressing areas of agreement is equally important in keeping an exchange going productively. I don't do that enough. Like she's right that one's attitude to sports is an important consideration when looking for a good match of character.
I personally would have no problem with dating a serious ping pong player. I like ping pong myself, could play her and get beaten each and every time but it'd be interesting. However, I could not for the sake of me take a dedicated baseball player or fan seriously, because I dislike baseball.
Pitty you're a man... :-)
Olivier, you have obviously not been reading my posts carefully, or completely.
I have in fact wondered through our entire exchange why you keep insisting on addressing the subject of baseball. I have made it very clear, several times, that I'm talking about anything that a person has a passion about, and feels that they would be the most happy, content with someone who shared those interests. I have brought up religion, children, and other things as examples, but could it be any number of things.
That is why in a previous post I <sighed>, wondering aloud if you really didn't get what I was saying, or were just playing around. I see now it's the former. Not for my lack of explaining though.
Let me make this less specific. If person A has interest X that is very important to them, A would be very sensible to ask person B early on, before any relationship developed, if B shared it, to at least some extent. B makes lame joke Y about it, which is off putting at least to A. Person A decideds not to continue to view B as relationship material, is not interested even in casually dating, and so separates herself from situation.
As in any situation here, we only have the OP's take on it. Perhaps joking about interest X was just the last straw in a series of events. Maybe OP isn't even aware of that. Doesn't matter. It happened.
Should this woman have explained the why's of her not wanting to continue to see him. Maybe. I don't know. It's certainly not a requirement, regardless of how other people may feel about it. Personally I have no opinion. She had more had an idea of how he would react than we do, regardless of what he may say here, and for whatever reason it wasn't in her best self interest to get into it.
I do get the impression that making lame jokes for whatever reason may be a device of the OP's. Maybe when he doesn't know what else to say, or, I suspect in this case, to draw the subject back to him. This is evidenced by the observation, what he would call a joke, that the 2 of us "belong together" Based on what? The fact we exchanged posts directly to each other half a dozen times during this thread?
I suppose this would induce the OP, and or others, to comment on my lack of sense of humor. I see it as identifying maybe with what this woman felt when she asked a direct question about something important to her, (with us not knowing what else was going on at the moment) and got a not funny quip in return.
Ok, this reminds me of a perhaps bizarre (I just found it annoying) date I went on. So here goes.
In my late 20's for about 4 years, I had a job that afforded me the opportunity to meet a lot of new people, some obviously men. A number of them over that time would ask me for a date, and since I was unattached at the time, sure. I always made sure I had my own transportation, so staying or leaving was on my say so.
So went for drinks (I don't drink, he had like 2, so wasn't drunk), talked, and I made the decision to agree to go back to his place, taking my car and following him. I knew through my job where he worked, and felt safe doing this. See, I don't let "magic" get in the way of common sense.
Anyway without all the background of every single thing we talked about, he suddenly (and I mean suddenly) stared at my chest and said what a good mother I'd be. I think I said something like "Boy do you read me wrong" and I'm quite sure laughed.
For whatever reason, he started insisting I needed to have a child, that he had a vision of me holding a baby to me, and on and on. Really uncomfortable. I guess my breasts were telling him all this. I would have to have a talk with them later. (see, I do have a sense of humor).
I left as soon as possible, after explaining, and him denying, that I was not ever going to have a child, and do everything in my power to avoid that.
At least twice he called and left answering machine messages (yes it was that long ago), asking me out. My breasts wielded great power. I simply didn't return the calls, and he stopped calling. If it were today, I would have blocked him after the first call. Did I feel the need to provide his "closure"? **** no. Ain't nobody got time for that.
BTW, I don't think the discussion "didn't go well". I don't like it that you didn't pick up on what I thought was obvious (that I wasn't talking about baseball this whole time). I also have to wonder about what you feel is a necessity to keep stressing points of agreement. Maybe you were so busy doing that you were not paying attention to what I was saying.
Me personally, I have to wonder about the type of person (considering the compactness of our communication) who would need this constant reassurance the yes indeed, we have areas of agreement. Honestly? Once or twice I was very tempted to say to you words to the effect that "yeah yeah, we agree on that, how many time are you going to repeat it?" Because I'm half smart and heard you the first time. However, because we are not verbally talking, you wouldn't be able to see my face, hear my tone, and would probably not read the words with the correct intent. I know that because it happens all the time here. So instead I just kept plodding along, me not understanding what you weren't getting.
See? I've been doing what I guess this woman was "supposed" to do, offering all sorts of explanations that weren't heard, maybe because it wasn't what the OP wanted to hear. That is despite his protestations to us. Who knows if her shutting him out really did, from her viewpoint come out the blue, when if you asked her, she'd tell you she tried to let him know several times she wasn't interested. We just don't know.
I gotta go. I have to prepare a lot of shipments. Sales are really taking off.