Offspring: thoughts on the ones you had, or didn't have ...

i just turned 30 and don't have any kids and have not been married yet......i had a girlfriend of 3 years (recently broke up) that has a 6 year old son... she is divorced and raising her son on her own (she's only 25), and doing a good job......i'd say 3 years ago i couldn't imagine having kids.. i was still a pretty selfish person but all of that changed when i met her and her son.... i started enjoying helping her with him and i came to love him as my own....... i also felt a desire to have kids of my own one day... i'd see a little baby here and a little baby there etc. and i would get this weird parenty feeling inside of me... hard to explain but it really really took my by surprise.......i want children of my own now..... i just need to find the right women to have them with..............

women - plural ?????? or typo?

I seem to remember seeing something recently that when there are babies around, women are more fertile -- has to do with evolving to recognize that hey if that baby has survived now is a good time for me to go ahead and have mine.

Anyway, thought of that because I had something similar happen of not really being in any rush to have kids and then taking care of a baby for a week (my sister-in-law was hospitalized when she was 9 months pregnant, had a c-section and then brain surgery), and it was after taking care of that baby that I was like OK, that's it, we're having a kid! And soon!

I had a holiday tea yesterday for friends and clients and two close friends who desperately wanted to come could not attend because they couldn't find anyplace to stash their kids. I felt awful having to tell them that the kids weren't invited but first, my house is so NOT childproof and second, we were all at the dining room table, my best china and silver, everyone catching up with one another, where does a two and five year old fit in that scene? How does Mom spend a leisurely afternoon with friends with two kids in tow. Is that even possible?

Works best if the friends have kids, too. The most leisurely afternoons I've spent since the kid was born was with the dad of her best friend + his little brother -- kids would go off and play, grown-ups could hang out.

Toooootally unrelated, and please forgive me the flippant digression, but it's just I happened to meet this other Finnish guy (irl, I mean), and he told me a grammatically similar lesson of life of his own:

If you want to be happy for a night, get drunk;
If you want to be happy for a month, get married;
If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, get a garden.

He was a very avid gardener ;-)

We went to a private christmas party last Friday and everybody
brought their kids. We counted at least 35 children there of all ages, and all
had a blast, nothing got broken, the parents had a great time socializing
as did the kids. If you don't make the kids the focus of attention, then
you'll enjoy a good visit with friends, without major interruptions.

Then again, if we were invited to a childless household where a lot of
expensive nippes and glass is displayed, I always would opt for a
babysitter, otherwise I'd be a nervous wreck watching my child for every move and couldn't relax or enjoy myself.