No, sometimes you can sympathize with your "replacement", can't you, Noddy? But you did you time, so better someone else has theit turn than you STILL badgering away at it, eh? :wink:
My replacement came from a world where men are honored simply because they are men. She also had a biological clock tic-ticking.
As a person I have to admire her. My sons learned to respect her--deservedly.
So, a sort of a happy ending, Noddy? :wink:
When the first Mr. Noddy remarried, the middle-of-the-night phone calls and tantrums stopped--and my happiness started.
Freedom, peace and quiet. Those were the days.
msolga--
I am doomed to live in interesting times.
For always & always! :wink:
Good night, msolga. You people under the earth keep peculiar hours.
Hold your dominion.
When I broke up with my second wife (her idea) I moved down the street from our house. Every couple of days or so she would call me and I would go over to "fix the faucet". We would have sex, she would cry and I would tell her she'd be okay, then I would go home.
Once we went out for a drink and then did it in the car in the bar's parking lot, but I didn't really even like her anymore. I kept hoping she would get a boyfriend.
After a couple months the calls slowed down, we would wave at each other if we saw each on the street.
I got an answering machine. I stopped returning her calls. There were several, the last one was the best, she said
"I think, instead of leaving a message, I am getting a message. Yeah.
Well. Later."
Joe
Yeah.
Yeah, to everybody here.
The words I remember were "I don't love you any more."
He never did explain why. Apparently he realized it from a sentence I said in December of '93, told me mid '94, but he didn't remember what it was. Trust me, I have wracked my brain for what that sentence might have been. I am not ordinarily a killer in words. So much for twenty years.
It wasn't my mentioning his brother's saying "how can a guy love just one person?" in the laundry room, one day.
It wasn't anything I could dredge up from my antennaed words, at the time.
Interestingly, I saw this kind of thing mentioned in today's nytimes article on passive aggression.
um.
We both knew about passive aggression and tried not to do that.
Anyway, years have past and he has remarried. I don't resent the new wife, I know he met her after me.. though of course she is thinner, younger, and blonder. Oh well. Whatever, as my niece would say.
I know, people are different with different people and I am pretty glad for that.
Still, I wonder how they are doing by now. Has he learned to talk to her?
msolga wrote:Smart girl, Eva!
I hope you felt comforted by his kind words! :wink:
Nothing that man did EVER comforted me!!! Ah well, live & learn....
ossobuco wrote:...I know, people are different with different people and I am pretty glad for that.
Still, I wonder how they are doing by now. Has he learned to talk to her?
My theory, for what it's worth osso, is that people remain pretty much who they were .... though, of course, they might make a big effort not make the same mistakes again.
That was a delightful separation story, Joe. The stages we go through before it's final. Been there, done that.
I know of a case where a fellow ended the relationship because his lover's cat regularly slept on her bed! (and no, that wasn't me.
)
I once instigated a wordless breakup, with a serial cheater. I just took all my stuff and left. I even went through the photographs we had, grabbed all of them except the ones with her in them. I ignored her calls, cut my ties completely. If I saw her in the street, I ignored her. Many years later, a mutual friend called me to pass on a message that she was getting married, and I might want to know. I said, "Pass on this message from me. Why would I even care?" He had a hearty laugh, because he knew what she was like, and even warned me while I was dating her. However, the first blush of love is often blind.
That was very strong & determined, cav. You must have had excellent reasons! :wink:
