Depressed...

Kristie:

I hope you feel better soon. Going to a professional is a good move. If you don't like it Stop. But the important thing is to TRY. Don't give up?

Change some things and maybe get some different results. I mean literally. Furniture, Clothes, friends. Start where ever you can. Just Start. Based on your signature. There is nothing to loose and everything to GAIN. It's sun shiney here today I hope it moves your way. LOVE & Prayers.

Thanks guys. I'm just sick of my self defeating attitude. Like last night. Hubby worked late again...(don't even ask, it's a disaster at work) and instead of taking the little time we did have before bed time, I pouted. Waste waste waste. I can't stand myself sometimes. I am tired of apologizing for my behavior. I just have to do something.

PS- The signature is from Office Space. I can't remember who Peter is talking to but....it cracks me up. That pretty much sums up my life most of the time.

Yay Kristie!

The only problem is I can't find a therapist covered by my insurance. I get 52 visits a year with a small copay but theres no one around!!! **sigh** This is making it far more difficult to actually proceed with my plan.

Oh, bummer. Shouldn't there be a listing somewhere? We get a booklet with a listing of the service providers that accept our insurance... (pediatricians, optometrists, etc...)

I'm gonna have to call. **sigh**

If you can't find a therapist covered by insurance. Go to the Local Mental Health Center and talk to someone (OR get a refferal - They should know someone in town who is covered under your insurance). If they are no help local colleges often have programs (Grad Students) who can help. You are obviously very bright. Don't forget the physcial stuff, Did you check into the vitimans?

I have been hormonal lately myself, but I find affirmations help me. Pick some little positive catch phrase and stick it up on yourbathroom mirror, include a reminder to be kind to hubby on your monitor at work. Send an email and tell him you love him (even if you are mad at him about something). FAKE IT, till you MAKE IT.

Get on the net and look for energy providing herbs, etc. (SHARE if you find some good ones). I still believe in "B" Complex and "B" 12. I can tell when I miss taking them. Are you religious? If so seek comfort there. We're pulling for you. Did not mean to nag...

The crying and self-pitying sounds like a very strong chain to break.

The crying makes you feel bad because you could've done something better with your time. So you don't feel good about it, and you cry even more... and then you feel worse.

It's not necessarily with crying, it's happened to me with just not doing what I tell myself I just do. The same chain of events.

The first step is the most difficult to take.
Though most of the time you'll wonder why it was so hard once you've done it.

Don't apologize for your behavior. Take the first step.

Kristie

When Mr Wolf had decided to look for a therapist he ran into the same problem - couldnt find one-
So he asked his boss. Low-and-behold! The boss gave him 14 diffrent referrances. !

So then his next prob = finding one he liked.
So i suggested to him ( wich worked wonderfully) and I will tell you about it... Write a small intro letter about YOU and what YOU want from them. Say things like :
I have this feeling of anxiety every time I do___, and for that problem my goal is ____.
Then ALWAYS ALWAYS add something to the effect of :

So with this letter what I am hoping for is an idea of what you can do to help me . What I dont want this letter to do is make you feel like you need to address my issues with a lengthy letter that would qualify as an in office meeting. I am trying to find someone who is familiar with these types of problems and can give me the resources I need.

One of my friends is a therapist ( well.. semi sort of.. ) And her first responce to me when I told her what I suggested hubby to do was to make sure you put in your letter that you are not looking for an answer immediatly. Simply because therapists can not DO THAT by letter... something about being illegal. And to address that makes them more responcive to your introduction.

Sure enough, Mr wolf got 12 responces from his 14 letters and has the most wonderful woman for a therapist. He has been seeing her for 2 years and they have such a great relationship I have even gone to see her free of charge.. mostly because she wanted to meet me.
He couldnt have asked for a better therapist.

Doing that may help you.
But then, so would a trip to austin, a few bars, some police officer strippers and MEGA shopping spree..
But we will stick with the therapist for now. ;-)

Rather go to Vegas...but hey, Austin will do.

I don't really want my boss to know I am seeing anyone. For a few reasons. 1) it's none of his business and 2) he might link my personal issues with my work and I don't want that.

So......I am just going to call the insurance company and say HEY!, who can I go to???

ug ,
you have one of THOSE kinds of bosses... ( sigh )
they really do suck the big one dont they!

well. he's a great boss....best I ever had, however, he is kind of the richy rich type and perhaps (I can't confirm this) a little snooty when it comes to social issues such as this. I would hope he isn't like this...he's such a nice guy but I wouldn't want to take the chance.

Wow, that letter thing is a GREAT idea! Could you do that with all the providers on your list, Kristie? SheWolf, I'm actually saving the text of your post for the next time I see a therapist (is that OK?) (And, yes, I'm sure there Will Be a next time!)

Kristie, I often feel just the way you do. The first step always IS the hardest. Once I get past that, everything is easier. Wish I knew why!

Personally I wouldn't talk to my boss either, but local resources may be able to help (religious/social organizations).

(((((Kristie))))) Big Big hugs!

Kristie:

Hugs, I used to be a really negative person (My Mom says I got it from my Dad), There were days I would not be happy, if I won the lottery.

For me being positive had to start with LEARNED behavior. I had to kind of force myself to be positive. I would say things (to myself) like I read in your posts:

"You will not get me today,(negative thoughts) Today I'am going to be happy, I'm better off than alot of people I know and I will be grateful for that."

I used the Serenity Prayer over and over. It helped me find peace. I kept (and still do) a list of reinforcement quips on my computer that I cut and paste from all over the place. I can scan it when I start to feel blue and put a cute saying on my screensaver.

When my late husband was suffering with cancer, (with regard to outside issues) I used to say Don't sweat the small stuff, and It's ALL small stuff. I just tried not to waste a moment of the time we had left together. Find something, anything POSITIVE to focus on and cling to it until you can get the help you need. Good Luck!!!

Boris -
that is perfectly fine. use that suggestion to your benefit!!! as much as necessary. Im glad it helped.
I can also say this for the plus side of a letter
You will get a good idea of the personality of the therapist when you have thier ideas in writting.
It is like ' feeling out the territory' so to speak.
If a therapist ( and i have seen many) is really snobish in thier approach it will come across in thier responce. If they are NEW to the field, that will come across also. If they are too busy ( and a busy therapist is sometimes not a great choice) they may not answer and that means... move on.

The therapist Mr Wolf has wrote back a lengthy letter and i was just loving her after I read it and so was he. One of his issues was his fathers sudden death. She wrote back about HER fathers death 3 years ago and how the one thing she will tell him now before he even moves any farther is that he will never ' get over it' and that if his goal is just that, he might as well save his money. Her explaniation - You never get over your family.. it just gets easier. Accept that and I can help you, reject that and stay home.
I was like.............WHOA... this woman has balls and some SERIOUS respect for her position. yeah . Go with her. And he did. :-)
( i hope im not hogging your thread kristie.. :-( im sorry.... )

Kristie, it's a really good point that not all therapists are good therapists. DH had one some time ago.....he'd be talking along and look over and find she was Actually Asleep! She usually seemed to wake up when he stopped talking.

SheWolf, DH told me when we first met that "Most women don't have any balls" (referring to something I'd done, can't remember what). Of course I had to reply, "I think it's safe to say ALL women don't have any balls...."

hijacker....

:wink: