Depressed...

hijacker.... :wink:

Kristie, you said "....I don't really have a problem with who I am but I have a real problem believing that I am good enough for others...."

That is EXACTLY how I feel about myself. Sorry, I have no advice to give, but if you find out how to fix it, let me know!

I discovered I had PMDD when I started to keep a "mood diary". I was trying to figure out why I seemed to get depressed and cranky to the point of despair and then a few days later it was like "life is good, happy me is back". It became obvious by the third month of diary keeping that chemicals must be to blame.
Mr. Witch can be a real trigger or target depending on my mood of the moment. Sometimes he deserves a little wrath and other times I am just being unreasonable. What helped me was realizing the problem and seeing the pattern. Now when the black clouds start to form I just say to myself "it's just the hormones woman, this too shall pass".
I do agree with the advice to do a little volunteer work. I work with a literacy group and food pantry - you get so involved with other people's problems you forget your own.

Aww, Kristie. Like the shewolf, I just saw this today, and never would have guessed.

I hate this, cuz I just can't offer anything at all. I just love the advice involving exercise, but when I'm having a real gloom I can't begin to walk it off. On my walks, I just can't stomp hard enough to express myself. So, I guess I have to leave you where I found you.

Best wishes.

I suffer from depression too, and wow do I hate it. Some things that help me: meditation; reading books by the Dalai Lama; learning new things; loving pets; being in nature; hobbies (all making things, like weaving & embroidery); and exercise (which I, like many of us, hate).

For exercise I lift small weights (dumbbells & ankle weights) at home. Long ago I used to go to a gym, but I disliked the getting dressed/driving etc. Now I lift naked at home, much better! All I have to do is pick up the weights and I've started.

I hear you can start with soup cans if you haven't any weights about. I started with 3-lb. weights. I have to MAKE myself start, every single time, but I'm always glad I did, afterwards. I've found my brain cannot distinguish between physical strength and emotional strength---I lift the weights to feel emotionally stronger more than anything else.

Depression makes it really hard to do anything to help myself. There's the rub! I simply FORCE myself to do what's good for me after I've suffered enough.

Hope this helps a bit. Love your avatar!

Thanks everyone...most people CAN'T tell that I feel this way. I've gotten extremely good at hiding it. I don't think my husband even fully understands the depth of this. I feel embarrassed and silly when I tell him that I don't know why I am crying or that I don't know what makes me anxious. I've developed the "make 'em laugh so I don't cry" defense mechanism. I am a real clown. If I can't be happy, at least the person I am with should be and entertaining people makes me forget how miserable I am.

I just am not sure what to do. The exercising didn't really help with the moods. I lost 2 pounds but I was still kind of blech....so that isn't the answer to this particular problem. On the suggestion of a very wise and witty woman (you know who you are!) I am going to try chaning my diet. I am going to cut a lot of sugar out of my diet and see if that helps.

It can't hurt.

I feel your pain sweetie. I made an appointment to see a shrink two months ago about my "peaks and valleys".
He diagnosed mild bi-polar symptoms and prescribed Wellbutrin.
Now I don't take pills for any reason but he assured me that with the family medical history in mind I needed to take something to even out the fells and swoops.
It's a rotten dirty anchor we drag around...cut out sugar and alcohol...Doc said that helps.

Panzade, did the Wellbutrin help you at all? I tried it once, and got really sleepy and a little dizzy/spacey, and that was all. Had better luck with Paxil, but I don't think any drug is a really good long-term solution (just my opinion).

Watching diet is a GREAT idea. A big salad always cheers me up, though I don't really know why.

Go for it, Kristie! Best of luck to you, lots of warm fuzzies coming your way....******(these are fuzzies)*****

Also, I've been having this bad feeling that something is not right. I am 99% sure that it is due to the fact that my husband was given a subtle ultimatium by his boss regarding his job and he has been working 14 hours days since. (and yes, he is at work. I've called and visited) And this means less time for me. No time for him. And time spent together is like roommates watching tv. He is obviously tired and frustrated. He can't stop talking about work. I feel like something else is wrong in my marriage and it makes me suspicious. And we all know that suspicious minds conjure up all sorts of things that normally wouldn't look guilty. And it makes me feel like he doesn't love me as much as he used to. For example, he promised to quit smoking. The other night, he came home from work and there was a pack of cigarettes in his pocket. I said, "didn't you quit?" and he told me one of his employees left them in the office and there were only a few so he kept them. (nice way to quit) And rule always was, you leave your cigarettes in my office, they are mine. This has happened before, him confiscating someone elses cigarettes, so this is a legit response. I say oh. Well, yesterday, he takes one out and starts smoking. I say, give me one. Partly because I can and partly because I am an ex-smoker who wants to smoke when someone else is smoking. He says, no I only have one left. I was like, fine. Moving on.....I went to get his cell phone for him and in the pocket of his coat is the pack of cigarettes. I moved them because they were in the same pocket as the phone and there was not just one left. So, I had to look. I checked and there were 3 or 4. Now, I think why would he lie to me? I get all funny feeling and begin wondering what else he lies about. Over the count of some cigarettes, which he probably didn't want to tell me about for a few reasons. 1- he doesn't want to hear me bitch at him about smoking 2- he doesn't want me to smoke after quitting 3- he is embarrassed that he can't quit cold turkey like I did. 4- he didn't notice that there were that many left. I however, am all freaked out about this.

This is the kind of behavior I am talking about. It makes no sense. I know that. Has anyone else been through this? I feel insane sometimes! He doesn't go out without me, he still says i love you, we still have sex regularly...but I still feel weird about things. It is making me crazy. And being a man, I am sure he has no clue this is all going on in my head. It must be nice being a man and not notice things like this.

That was very new the last time I took meds, and so I was put on Zoloft. It made me completely non-sexual. I didn't want it, couldn't orgasm...it sucked big time. Is Wellbutrin any better? I just hate the idea of one more pill everyday!! I take my allergy pill twice a day, my birth control pill, my calcium pill, multi-viatmin pill and my athsma pill at night. One more pill might kill me.

I know what you mean... about pills...and Zoloft.

I did something stupid 10 years ago. I stopped taking Zoloft because it interfered with the mechanics of climax.
Don't laugh...it's frustrating as hell for a man.
What was stupid was that I didn't consult with the shrink...I just abandoned meds.
I'm baaaaack...
Wellbutrin is substituted for Zoloft for just those symptoms.
And it's prescribed for the withdrawls from Nicotine.

That is why I stopped my zoloft too.
not that I have a problem ' getting it up' haha
but it interfered with my wanting sex, enjoying sex and my climax. I think THAT depressed me more then anything else.

Sorry, I came late to this thread as well.

I've suffered a couple of depressive episodes, one 2 years long during college. Another 6 months long or so (helped out of that one by therapy and meds).

I had a long post about how meds work, blah blah blah.

Bottom line is, if the sexual side-effects are the fly in the ointment then go talk to your doc. Some of the newer meds don't have the same problems as the earlier meds.

Yeah, discontinuation effects on SSRIs are pretty bad. Definitely follow docs advice about stopping meds.

Oh, I took Wellbutrin for two months. It was supposed to help with smoking. In my case, it didn't. I felt somewhat better, though.

Just thought I'd stop in and say hi. I'm feeling pretty bummed today as well... must be going around.

I was wondering if it was a weather thing. I'm definitely fighting, too, and I've noticed that it seems rampant.

come join us. all are welcome. :wink: Although I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy....ok, maybe I would...... :wink:

I just feel ***&$^(&*#&@&*** today. I am trying to bring my spirits up by researching our upcoming vacation. But it isn't working....money depresses me too.

Where is everyone? I am in Michigan so that explains the weather factor. Although it is 55 degrees here (in January!!!!) it is storming. and it is gloomy.

I need to move....check out this weather forcast...


Today - rain/thunderstorms high of 59 degrees
Tomorrow - rain / snow showers high of 19 degrees

This weather f*cks me all up.....