Mmmmm, cheese.....
I'm sorry, what were we talking about?
Eh ? Educate me abt Onan someone ......
God being a jealous old queen punished Onan for rubbing a few out without him....
Onan was, in the patois of Chicago, a jaggoff . . .
What did he jagg ?? <totally confused look>
it's as good a place as any for it. nobody expects a jagoff on their patio, 'specially in Chicago's nasty weather.
Onan had a secret passion for his Nanny, so in the quiet hours of the evening, he took his fantasies into his own hands, and called out quietly in the night "Oh, Nan...OH NAN!!"
Guatam, Onan is the biblical avatar of he who "spills his seed upon the ground"--generations of good Protestant boys in Public School in England, when not being buggered by the upper form boys, were warned against the evils of masturbation, with indirect references about Onan . . .
Which, oddly enough, meant "cheese danish" in his native tongue.
(have been looking for Anne Sexton's "The Ballad of the Lonely Masturbator" or whatever it's called to class things up a bit here, but I can't find it. Damn those copyright laws...)
Oh, and "jack off" is rendered as "jaggoff" in Chicago . . .
There are Jews in the world,
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons and then
There are those that follow Muhammed
But I've never been one of them
I'm a Roman Catholic
And I have been since before I was born
And the one thing they say about Catholics
Is they'll take you as soon as you're warm
You don't have to be a six-footer
You don't have to have a great brain
You don't have to have any clothes on
You're a Catholic the moment Dad came
Because
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate...
etc.
I believe Onan did not masturbate, but pull out.
Nonetheless, he has generously lent his name to masturbators.
Shouldn't you fellas have retractable balls?
I mean, to be serious for a bit, don't it feel really vulnerable having those things out there all the time?
Makes my ovaries gasp in horror, the very thought!
I think they are, in theory anyway...
cremaster
\Cre*mas"ter\ (kr?-m?s"t?r), n. [NL., from Gr. ???, fr. ???? to hang.] 1. (Anat.) A thin muscle which serves to draw up the testicle.
Yes - they kind of lurk - but they're still out there, no?
Well, how far depends on atmospheric conditions and various physiological states.
hot and cold, humidity, arousal, fear. you know, the usual stuff.
well, that may be a chicken and the egg question, really, since localized humidity can be a direct result of ambient heat.
