My wife's affair with my friend???

Your BEST friend and your wife have a 5 year affair and you were clueless all this time?

You are neglectful or just unaware of things going on around you.

Should you? Probably not. She does not really deserve your trust. But this is the wrong question to be asking yourself. The real question is this. Can you forgive her? Seriously sit down and think about that question. Because if you can forgive her, and if she is seriously wanting to make things work with you, then you will have to learn to trust her again. Trust can be rebuilt. It will take a long time, but I know it can be done. You will just have to give it time. But if you cannot forgive, which means getting to a point where it is never brought up again, even during future arguments, then trust will never exist for you and living daily without being able to trust the one person in the world you should be able to trust is not living well, in my personal opinion.

Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

Nice advice....

I don't know, can't tell. I didn't saw her face when she told you nor how sincere she was. Try to recall the conversation and see how you feel about it. 5 years speaks volumes but doesn't fail proof a valid answer...Also chose your friends wisely.

Geez!!!! some advice here........lame-ass excuse for support group....SMH

Your question was, "should I trust her." I believe both Fil and I gave a direct answer to that question. You did not ask for advice, but rather an answer to a question. Now if you want something more than what we can give you, may I suggest sucking up and taking your wife to a professional counselor and paying for his services.

Without knowing you or your wife, we cannot categorically state whether she can be trusted going forward.

this is definitely not a support group, its an open forum, and they are some very judgemental narrow minded people on here.

But IMO, you can;t trust her.

You can say that again!!!

I don't think we know enough about the situation. For instance, why did she tell you about it? Had you asked or did she just blurt it out for no reason? I agree that 5 years is a long time for you to remain clueless (but again, we don't know the details).

We can't answer if you should forgive her or not. Does she seem to TRULY remorseful? I would suggest counseling (both couples and individual) to see if you think you will be able to move past this and forgive her. I don't think you will ever forget what happened and you will have doubts for awhile (even if you do decide to give her another chance). I think it will depend on her and how she handles the responsibility for what she did.

I am sorry you are going through this- what a blow (to have your wife AND your best friend betray you like that). I wish you the best!

If you assault the man, you are an idiot and ruin your life further. No woman is worth it. Cut your losses , move on and never get married again. Enjoy as many women as you can in your life without the emotional attachment and you will be much happier.

I know this is an old post. No clue if your still checking this. I was in the same situation. However this is my wife best friend i was having an affair with.

Let me explain this to you a different way. Might help.

I had a full on affair for 9 months with my wife's best friend. We both are married with kids. She would invite me over to her house when her husband was away. I have sex in her and her husbands bed twice, in the back of her car, even at her husband in laws house guest bed. It's total disrespect bro.

I felt so bad. Like i just had sex in the bed her and her husband sleep in!? Like it does not get much more disrespectful then that. I never did the same. It was always at her house or in-laws.

a 5-6 year affair seems crazy long man. I had a 9 months full on (Sex, kissing, Emotional, Texting daily, etc) affair and on and off casual texting for a few years (Nothing crazy serious). You really need to find out what happened in the 5-6 years. Maybe sex was only a few times? Maybe it was emotional texting for awhile? You never know.

As for trusting her bro. Dude idk man. I would say no way.

thats quite a time in your life thor did either spouse ever find out
the other woman must have been a red hot babe ,who instigated your moments together as sometimes its just irresistible