Premature ejaculation: How quick is too quick?

Why don't you........join in <wink>

wat do u have in mind for the one that joins in lickin or maybe somethin else?

All Newbies that enter must satisfy the elders with a joke.

damn i missed that rule some how an umm it works like this u satisfy me i satisfy u an as always laddies first

Still waiting......

aww poor thing tell me wat kind u would like then

Witty, but clean.

This is an a2k intelligence test.

Good luck.

Ok, I think I've told this here before, but there's probably someone who didn't hear it:

Little town in the middle of Kansas. Very few women in the town and good looking women are a rarity. But then Burke came to town. A knockout! Hourglass figure, beautiful face, long auburn hair. A goddess.

Every guy in town started to ask her out. She refused them all. Soon the guys in town were confused and angry. Why wouldn't she go out with them? Was she trying to hide something? Yeah, that must be it! She's trying to hide something!

And then the hermaphrodite rumors started. "That's why she won't go out with us" the men screamed. "She has something to hide .... she's a hermaphrodite!"

But one calm night in mid July, Burke was approached by George Broderkon. George asked her out and started to walk away, fully expecting rejection. But he was stunned when he heard her say, "Why, yes, George, I'd love to go out with you. Pick me up at eight."

George showed up at eight o'clock sharp and headed for the drive-in movie. Burke looked fantastic. She was wearing a flimsy low-cut polka dot dress. George kept taking peeks at her ample cleavage as he drove down the road. Burke's breasts swelled and strained against the flimsy fabric and George began to sweat in earnest. Several times his glasses fogged up and he had to pull over to the side of the road to clean them.

Burke asked, "What's wrong, George. Why do your glasses keep fogging up? And is that a small kitten moving around in your pants?"

George gulped and continued toward the movie theater. He placed his baseball cap on his lap in order to calm the raging "kitten". "Later", thought George, "I shall unleash the kitten and Burke will be mine."

An hour passed and the two young lovers munched popcorn and stared at the crazy antics of Adam Sandler. Burke laughed and laughed as she munched her popcorn. Then she turned to George and said, "I have to use the bathroom, sweetie. I'm just going to do my business behind that hedge over there. I'll be right back."

She headed for the hedge.

George continued to eat his popcorn, when suddenly the light went off. "Hey", thought George, "now is my chance to find out if Burke is a hermaphrodite."

George jumped from the car and raced to the hedge. Getting down on his hands and knees, he crawled to the corner of the hedge and peered around. Burke was squatted and perfectly silhouetted by the moon. George lowered his head almost to the ground and, sure enough, there was a long thing dangling between Burke's legs. Slowly, George crept toward her, silent as a cat. And then he was there. Striking fast as a cobra his hand reached between her legs and clutched the appendage.

"Gotcha!", George triumphantly cried.

Burke turned and looked at George as she slowly began to rise. "You didn't tell me you were a peeping tom." she said.

George was staring at his hand, revulsion on his face, and he said in a trembling tone, "You didn't tell me you were taking a ****."

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, the latest Star Wars epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola and M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?"

One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size."

The moral of this story is: If a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.

If a man is in the forest and makes a statement, and there are now women around to hear him,

He is still wrong!


.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
5. Get rid of your cat.
6. Sunday = Sports.
7. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
8. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
9. You have too many shoes.
10. Crying is blackmail.
11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
13. Peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point bank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
14. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers.
15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
16. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
17. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
18. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
20. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
21. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
22. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - Not both.
23. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
24. You have enough clothes.
25. Men are from earth; women are from earth. Deal with it.
26. Nothing says, "I love you" like sex

Vex and Gus

You have met the expectations of the elders with your wit and humor you may now have mad passionate "circus sex" with every female you wish, there is just one catch, you must get her to say the word "BINGO" to unleash her insatiable desires.

Carry on a2k brothers and may the force be with you.

B - I - N - G - O and _____ was his name-o.

somehow i think i got the raw end of that deal

Nonsense, now go forth and spread the good news.

umm how bout a kiss an cookie an we call it even

I'm still waiting for Bill and Monica to weigh in on this topic.

i imagine speed was a plus in the oval office.
would've lessened the chance of an Al, a Janet or a George barging in in the middle of thangs...