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Infidelity question: Forgotten details. Trying to reconcile

 
 
Reply Tue 9 Aug, 2016 11:06 pm
My husband had an 8 month affair with a co-worker from October 2014 to June of 2015. I did not find out about it until she contacted me, in April of this year, and viciously told me about it.

My husband wants to save the marriage but he knows that he must be completely open and honest about all questions I have.

Well, it seems he just cannot remember some things. Like:
When did it begin?
When did it ended?
Was she ever in your truck?
Did you put your fingers inside her?
What did you two talk about?
What attracted you to her?
Why did she end it and not you?
When was the last time you spoke to her?
What other places did you two talk other than on words with friends?

He says he just cannot remember those details.

What advice should I give him?
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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 465 • Replies: 5

 
roger
 
  5  
Reply Tue 9 Aug, 2016 11:30 pm
@JacksGirl37,
Tell him to get a better memory. Really, will these details make you feel better, or help with the reconciliation you are hoping for?
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Tiger81
 
  0  
Reply Fri 26 Aug, 2016 12:32 pm
@JacksGirl37,
You deserve answers. See a counselor together, he needs to understand that he can't even begin to rebuild trust without totally transparency.

Been there, done that - ex husband cheated 3 times before I gave him the boot. It sucks.
0 Replies
 
petem41
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Dec, 2016 02:42 am
Ok so im in the same boat
My partner of 20yrs decided while i worked nights she would have affair
Well its 11mths later she has not given me any information at her own free will
I have had to coach her the whole way she just cant understand when i say
"I want what you gave him" even when he tossed her aside she still pursued him
She sent him 6340 messages 123 pics this does not include snapchat or kik
There are 6 email accounts
7 kik accounts that she says she cant remember

Do i believe her or is this just another con
0 Replies
 
Medusax
 
  0  
Reply Wed 1 Feb, 2017 07:32 pm
@JacksGirl37,
LOL!! Goodbye.....
0 Replies
 
WineNot
 
  0  
Reply Tue 18 Apr, 2017 11:06 am
@JacksGirl37,
Men typically don't remember as many of these details as women and they also like to "forget and move on" whereas women need answers- we tend to need some type of closure to move on He doesn't want to answer because he doesn't want to face his mistake by giving you the details and reliving it. Too bad. He messed up- he needs to pay the price by coming clean for YOUR sake. It doesn't seem like he put your needs first when he did that so tell him he needs to put you first but answering the questions Honestly he may not remember dates (it started and ended) but he can remember many of those other details.

I strongly advise finding a marriage counselor to get through this. You could always go to the first couple appointments alone to make sure YOU like the counselor and then you both need to attend. Best wishes.
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