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Aware of wife’s infidelity but still with her

 
 
Reply Fri 6 Dec, 2019 05:58 pm
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Hi all, after some advice really. I’ve been with my wife for 11 years and we have 3 children.
Without getting into the ins and outs too much etc she has slept with a friend of mine several times and performed sexual acts on a couple of guys while away with the girls and at party’s etc during our time together. She texts a lot of guys and after the birth of our daughter got very close with a male friend of a friend and they would text and send each other pics a lot etc.

I was told by a close friend of mine to keep an eye on her and by two of her friends about what she’d done and to check her phone. Which I did and how I found out all of this.
Now to me and everyone else she makes out she’s the perfect wife and hates cheating and would never do anything like that.

She doesn’t know I know any of this but have proof of the things shes’s done but can’t bring myself to tell her I know as I don’t think I want to know the real truth.

She’s gorgeous and I’ve always felt she was way out of my league but I’ve always treated her the best I can and have her a good home and been the best dad to our children I can be but I’m clearly not enough.

Her family are awful and if we ever split up I would worry constantly about them as her mum is an alcoholic and her one brother is in and out of police cells and her other brother has mental health problems so don’t really want them all being surrounded by them all the time if we were to split up.

I love her very much but don’t know what to do it’s destroying me inside and don’t want the kids to know anything about what she’s done or have to suffer because of it.
 
Sturgis
 
  3  
Reply Fri 6 Dec, 2019 06:06 pm
@Daddykool,
Ask her directly. She may deny that she has done anything.
Be ready to give her proof.

Decide where to go from here. Is it love for both of you or just one?

For the record, nobody is out of anybody's league. Love doesn't care about where people are from and real love isn't concerned with whatever a person looks like.


One other thing, see a counselor to talk about this and get it off your chest, regardless of what the marriage outcome is.
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Daddykool
 
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Reply Sun 8 Dec, 2019 09:54 am
Hi thanks for the advice I will try and bring the conversation up.

I believe we love each other the same but I think it’s probably my fault as I don’t satisfy her enough and have told her loads about my friend being supposedly good in bed so I’m guessing she had to find out for herself.

ctdans
 
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Reply Thu 15 Oct, 2020 01:26 pm
@Daddykool,
Oh man listen to you put yourself down. If you have no respect for yourself how can you expect any respect from someone else such as your wife? She has it all right now, a husband for financial security and daycare and lovers for excitement.

If you want to live as "plan B" then say nothing. If you want a life get a divorce as she has moved on already.
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