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Found condoms in wife’s handbag

 
 
Sat 7 Aug, 2021 06:55 am
I’ve been with my wife 20 years and we aren’t as active as we used to be. That said I still love her however just found 6 loose condoms in her handbag, when looking for a a face mask,they aren’t our brand. We’ve only had sex maybe 5 times in the last 6 years. Kind of freaked out and don’t know what to do. I’ve always been a jealous person so don’t want to jump to conclusions. She did just come back from a hen do so I’m hoping they are from that. I know if I ask her about them she is going to say I don’t trust her which might cause more damage. I’m freaking out, angry and my hearts racing.

I’d love some wives perspectives please. My head says just ask her, but that’s going to highlight that I don’t trust her (or give her the chance to come up with an excuse) or do I have to sit hear raging and wait to see if they go down over the next few months? We have never bought black and gold condoms!!
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Type: Question • Score: 8 • Views: 4,765 • Replies: 12
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VABGirl
 
  1  
Sat 7 Aug, 2021 09:43 am
@worriedhusband,
You can just let it go and move on. But, if its really bothering you then best just ask her.
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  1  
Sat 7 Aug, 2021 10:20 am
@worriedhusband,
What is a 'hen do'?
Mame
 
  1  
Sat 7 Aug, 2021 10:40 am
@glitterbag,
I think it's a hen party as in women hanging out.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Sat 7 Aug, 2021 11:43 am
@glitterbag,
Stag night, hen night, stag do hen do.

It can be anything from when I got married which was a quiet drink with my mates down The Joiners Arms to when my mate Wolfe got married which was a week in the Red Light District Of Amsterdam.

I couldn’t get time off work, so I just went for the weekend.
0 Replies
 
worriedhusband
 
  1  
Sun 8 Aug, 2021 01:52 am
@glitterbag,
It’s a bachelorette party that she went to for a friend. Kind of not the point though. Just don’t know what to do as if I ask her then in accusing her
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Sun 8 Aug, 2021 03:37 am
@worriedhusband,
worriedhusband wrote:

It’s a bachelorette party that she went to for a friend. Kind of not the point though. Just don’t know what to do as if I ask her then in accusing her


Lemme tell you what to do...or rather, what NOT to do.

NEVER EVER go into your wife's purse whether looking for a mask OR ANYTHING ELSE.

When you do that, what you are doing is searching...no matter what else you think you are doing.

Now you have found something that cannot be definitively explained...and you are in a quandary.

By now, you know you are going to ask her...there is damn near no way to avoid it. So just ask her about the condoms. And the new problem may not be her answer...it will be "Why were you going through my purse?"
0 Replies
 
neptuneblue
 
  1  
Sun 8 Aug, 2021 05:02 am
@worriedhusband,
worriedhusband wrote:
It’s a bachelorette party that she went to for a friend. Kind of not the point though. Just don’t know what to do as if I ask her then in accusing her.


Yes, that is exactly the point. You made it seem that she was doing something nefarious behind your back, then come to find out she went to a bachelorette party and came home with party favors?

No, don't ask her about it.

Dial back the jealousy and dial into some counseling. No wonder your marriage has been shaky, you're a train wreck.
glitterbag
 
  1  
Sun 8 Aug, 2021 10:11 am
@worriedhusband,
Maybe the condoms were 'joke' gifts. Some of those parties get pretty slap happy. Why don't you strike up a conversation about what went on during the party, or better yet you could probably google 'bachelorette party', 'hen do' and see if there are any party games recommended. Years ago when so many of my friends and family were planning bridal showers or baby showers, the hostess would plan games and hand out prizes that were supposed to be fun for all the ladies. The prizes were small items of one sort or another. I don't remember condoms being used as a joke gift but who knows, maybe they are now.

My point is, maybe it's just a silly prize or gift handed out at a bachelorette party meant to be funny or a little racy. There could be a totally different reason why she has condoms in her purse other than she's 'cheating'. My other point is "I don't know why she has condoms in her purse" and neither do you. Don't assume, when you hear hoofs, think horse not zebra.
worriedhusband
 
  1  
Sun 8 Aug, 2021 11:52 am
@neptuneblue,
Thanks for the help, I quite clearly said that I hoping that’s where they came from. Obviously I am a concerned husband abs the fact we haven’t had sex for probably two years makes it very concerning that she’s suddenly walking around with 8 condoms in her bag … you try and find an 8 pack of Skyn condoms.

Future reference if you haven’t got anything nice or useful to contribute how about you just keep quiet.
0 Replies
 
worriedhusband
 
  1  
Sun 8 Aug, 2021 11:54 am
@glitterbag,
Thank you glitterbag, that’s kind of what I am hoping. Having never been to one before I wasn’t sure if it’s the sort of thing that she may have come hone with. I guess I’ll keep my gob shut and just freak out if they ever go down after she works late.
glitterbag
 
  1  
Sun 8 Aug, 2021 12:13 pm
@worriedhusband,
So you are planning to check her purse every time she comes home from working late? Is that a good idea? The right answer is NO!!!! Tsk Tsk Tsk, Neptune actually gave you the best advice, get some counseling and get your jealousy under control. Otherwise you will drive your wife away if she believes you will never ever really trust her.

I can just see the scenarios, wife throws away condoms and you have a heart attack when you can't find them. You'll be running around the house, checking the bins looking everywhere and anywhere for proof of her infidelity. You're acting like her parole officer, not a husband. I'm surprised you haven't already worn her out with these shenanigans. No one think for a minute you were looking for a mask when you found the condoms, but I will give you points for at least trying to appear innocent. Sheesh!!!


0 Replies
 
tsarstepan
 
  2  
Sun 8 Aug, 2021 07:47 pm
@worriedhusband,
FYI: You do realize that condoms expire right? That if you use expired condoms (after 3 to 5 years) then that's a good way for the condom to break at a key moment during intercourse and cause an accidental pregnancy or fail to prevent STI transmissions.

The original pack of condoms bought 6 years ago have likely (and should have been) properly thrown out for new ones. I don't suspect you're the one who buys the condoms in the first place.
0 Replies
 
 

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