Jeez...
A rare Moondoggy appearance, and instantly - 10 pages of farting!
We thinkit 'mazing!
cavfancier wrote:Hmmm...maybe this thread needs a political statement...."I'd rather get gas from my ass than from Suadi Arabia!" Let's see how that one goes.
LOL I find that incredibly funny....I don't know why but it made me laugh out loud....that's good....good one....he he he.....
That made me think of this:
Despite my typo, (it really should be Saudi) it's still funny indeed. cjhsa's post made me think of cows, who eat a lot of grass, and produce some lethal methane as a result.
I posted a link on a verylittlevisited thread of mine (I rhink I was the only one who visited) about cows, on a farmer in Marin who has worked up a system for energy production from bossy. I'll be back with a link later, but I have to do a bunch more abuzz thread saving...
o, i'm glad you posted this cav. i'm going to read through all the pages tomorrow. i love stories about farting. i think the world would be a happier place if fartng in public wasn't so taboo...
I rather think that in the stage of human development in which we were troglodytic, public farting was an unacceptable burden for the community . . .
you think, setana? i imagine cave dwellers just let them fly.
You know who hates farts worse than anyone?
Midgets
And for our francophone friends . . .
Ah, Mlle, quelle pétulance . . .
Hi, geligesti, nice to see you.
This all reminds me of my daily life. As some of you know I have an office and art gallery in an old victorian building, well, I do, with a business partner, we handle both businesses, such as they are. The bathroom to our leased space is up the down staircase, something of an aggravation for me even back when no one lived or studio'd upstairs. Just doing the stairs... the hand rail is set at, I think, 30" high, and might be lower. Everything is dark brown and I am night blind, so it is fine occasionally when light comes in from an upstairs window, but otherwise an exploration for me. Lights, as such, are never on, if they ever work.
Recently we have a new owner, sigh, and he has fixed up the building, sort of, cleaning swaths of a century of detritis (meeting hall, hotel, whorehouse, art center) out. Too bad he hasn't shored up the foundation, but never mind.
He is trying to pay for the reno by having people have spaces, and some of them are pretty iffy. This is not new to me, me being from Venice, California, and once having rented a place with seven broken windows and slept in my coat. Still, we have a lease and have this godforsaken bathroom.
For the last six months guys have been leaping up and downstairs, those doing the renovating, sans, as I mentioned, the foundation, and it is a little too much for moi, what with my difficulty in dark corridors and guys leaping down stairs...
so I go to the restroom, so called, down at the Vance Hotel, lovely really.
Ack, they just shut it down yesterday (I have been figuring this would happen, people leave it scummy) so you can only get in there with a key.
So to pee, I need to either go upstairs, yaaaaaccccckkkk, or go home, fifteen blocks away.
I have been reconsidering my distaste for upstairs, which you could understand was ours alone for three years. I get up there and a photographer who rents a studio saw me with my roll of toilet paper* and paper towels clutched - gads, I hope no one is in the gallery when I come back down - and says really, osso, here - and hands me a half gallon of ammonia.
Trouble in River City...
* we got tired of being the lead suppliers..
Anyone remember? This is the same bathroom the raccoon fell out of..
Chinese Proverb:
In church, never sit in own pew.
he he he....get it?
Different Type of Farters
Vain
You love the smell of your own farts.
Amiable
You love the smell of other people's farts.
Proud
You think your farts are exceptionally fine.
Shy
You release silent farts and then blush.
Impudent
You boldly fart out loud and then laugh.
Anti-Social
When the need arises, you excuse yourself from the room and fart in private.
Strategic
You fart and then conceal it with loud coughing.
Sadistic
You fart in bed and then pull the cover up over your partner's head.
Intellectual
You can determine from the smell of any fart exactly what food item had been consumed.
Athletic
You fart at the slightest exertion.
Miserable
You would love to let one out, but you are unable to fart.
Sensitive
You fart and then start crying.
Unfortunate
You try really hard to fart, but you poop instead.
Scientific
You fart regularly but you're concerned about pollution.
Nervous
You stop in the middle of your fart.
Honest
You admit that you farted but offer good medical reasons.
Dishonest
You far and then blame the dog.
Foolish
You suppress your farts for hours.
Thrifty
You always keep a couple of good farts in reserve.
Excellent, cav! Thanks for the laugh.
Those were really good cav!
This thread just followed me right into the men's room...
How did you get into my office, cjhsa?
A Ballerina goes to the Doctor,
"Doc I am having terrible trouble with the most awful wind, every time I pirouette I fart" she cries.
"Hmmm," says the Doctor, "I'd like to see that if possible"
The ballerina get up, pirouettes and Phrrrt... Farts loudly.
"Thats amazing, do it again,"
Again the pirouette is accompanied by a loud fart
"Hmmm," says the Doctor "I think I may be able to help" he bends down and picks up a long pole with a curious barbed hook on the end.
The ballerina starts back in alarm, "What the ~&%$*? are you going to do with that?" she asks,
"Opening the window, it stinks in here for Gods sake!"
Cav Cav Cav quick pull my finger
