Ever smell your couch afterwards?
For this reason, I'm big on having my friends who come over to fart lift their butt up.
Very weird request I know, but nothing is nastier than that butt stench fabric.
Already fifteen pages of farting and avery popular thread.
Farting With Style
Farting with style takes practice,
Perfection takes time, its a gift,
You've first got to learn all the basics,
Like pushing one out in a lift.
Those silent but violent are classics,
With friends it's a really good game,
Fart in a crowd at a party,
Then watch to see who gets the blame.
Is it time for fart haiku?
A noxious cloudburst
emanates from my sphincter
now one with the wind
Wait until you read my reinterpretation of 'Paradise Lost.'
Winds waft skyward from
low lands dotted with white geese
resting on pond clouds.
Beautiful, osso, so beautiful!
Reminds me of Humboldt Bay sanctuary...
Let me add that next door to this, as we speak, is an alpaca ranchette...
but, I don't know if they fart. Though their hairs curl.
Fartzilla vs. the Flatus Creature from the black lagoon .............. now showing at a smell'O'rama near you
Just produced an extended, very musical offering. It rose in pitch over an octave, I'd guess. The rest of the family doesn't seem as delighted with it as you would think. Philistines.
Three gay guys were driving to go snow sking. They picked up a hichhiker.
The driver said I have to fart. (whoosh, a silent and deadly)
The second guy said I have to fart too, (whoosh, a silent and deadly)
The third guy said my turn to fart, (whoosh, a silent and deadly)
The hitcher hiker said my turn "TOOT" a very loud and long fart.
The first three all said, "Wow we have a virgin here!"
This sure is a windy discussion...there silent and deadly and noone is aware as of yet....
Anyone ever have one of those farts that you let out, thinking it's going to be just a regular run of the mill fart, and then realize that you've actually sh*t yourself a little bit? That is not fun. Especially in a public swimming pool.
kickycan wrote:Anyone ever have one of those farts that you let out, thinking it's going to be just a regular run of the mill fart, and then realize that you've actually sh*t yourself a little bit? That is not fun. Especially in a public swimming pool.
That's when the lifeguard has to beep the whistle and yell out "We've got a floater!"
a ninety year old woman visits her Dr. and says
"Doc, I have been having problems with gas for the last 5 years."
"Why did you wait to come see me"
"Well, I figured I am not bothering anyone. They don't stink, and no sound, in fact I have passed gas at least ten times while sitting here."
"Here take this prescription and come see me next week."
She came back and said, "Doc, I don't know what you put in that prescription, but my gas stinks real bad now."
"Now that we have you sinus cleared up lets work on your hearing."
