6
   

Women are evil!

 
 
Ethel2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 May, 2004 05:27 pm
Evil Celine!

Naughty Zute
Naughty naughty Zute!

Quote:
(Sir Galahad must spank naughty Zute)
Maiden: "You must tie her down on a bed and spank her"
Others (in chorus): "A spanking, a spanking!"


http://www.crosswinds.net/~kdidymus/grail.htm
0 Replies
 
BoGoWo
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 May, 2004 05:30 pm
i've heard that to be evil one must at least have the semblance of a brain!

[Celine, not Zute]
0 Replies
 
Ethel2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 May, 2004 05:31 pm
And for our bunny:

Quote:
(Our heroes encounter a homicidal white furry bunny)
Keeper: "That rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide. It's a killer"
Knight: "Get stuffed"
Keeper: "It'll do you up a treat mate"
Knight: "You manky Scotch git!"
Keeper: "I'm warning you!"


http://www.crosswinds.net/~kdidymus/grail.htm
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 May, 2004 05:32 pm
dlowan wrote:
I thought Arthur's fate was because he slept with his (half) sister - thus producing Mordred?


In the mo'om pikcher Camelot, Mordred was played by David Hemmings--brilliant casting for a key role in an otherwise lackluster and rather sad stab at the greatest literary cycle of western Europe.


Uther Pendragon invited the Duke of Cornwall to regale him, and his new wife. Uther fell in lust with the Duke's Wife of Cornwall, but she in her virtue repulsed him, and told her Lord and Master. Then they hied them into Cornwall, and there he garnished and garisoned his two powerful towers at Tintagal and Terribel, to withstand the seige of the King. So Pendragon turned to the powerful mage, Merlin, to find a way to slake his lust. And Merlin secured from him his bond that the child of such a union would be given to him, Merlin. Pendragon agreed, and Merlin made him seeming the Duke of Cornwall himself. Uther rode to Tintagal, and there entered, and received by the Duke's Wife of Cornwall who knew him not as Pendragon but as her Lord and Master. They betook them to bed, and then the Duke's Wife of Cornwall knew him not who lay with her, and Pendragon away in the night back to the seige of Terribel. Now while Uther was gone to Tintagal, the Duke of Cornwall sortied with his men, and wreaked terrible slaughter among the King's Men, who wavered, leaderless. But Merlin rallied them, and a quarrel from one of Uther's crossbowmen entered between the gorget and the helmet of the Duke of Cornwall, and doing him down to the ground, he gave up the ghost.

Then it came to pass that the Duke's Wife of Cornwall was known to be with child, and Uther had leifer not see her then, as his lust slaked, his merry regard waned. And then the Queen list to know what of the Duke's Wife of Cornwall, and Uther had her put away. When she was delivered of a Boy in Tintagal, the King went by night and swift, but found Merlin waiting at the postern gate. And as Pendragon looked on in longing, Merlin took him the Boy, and, calling him Arthur, stole away, never again the Boy to be seen by Pendragon . . .



I doubt not that we all know the story of Arthur, placed with Pendragon's Senechel, Sir Kay, and of his upbringing, and the Sword in Stone . . . and then . . .

Now Arthur had put away, and put down, all the Kings of Britain who had come against him in league, and all had fallen on knees to place their hands within his, and to swear their fealty. And now Arthur bethought him it would be merry to go erring, and chevaucing about the forest, and took himself off from his fellows. It was in this time that he received from the Lady of the Lake, the scabbard to Excalibur which would heal his wounds and staunch his blood for so long as he weilded the sword and wore the scabbard upon his girdle. And there came to Arthur his three half-sisters, daughters of Pendargon, but the Lady of the Lake made him so he knew them not. They all hight him Arthur, but he knew not whereof they knew him. They were Margawse, King Lot's Wife of Orkney, and Anne, and Morgan La Faye . . . and Elain. Arthur and Elain they lay together, and he knew her not, and then the fair-seeming vanished, and he knew her, and he fled in his shame. In her time, Elain was delivered of a Boy, and the Boy was named Mordred . . .
0 Replies
 
BoGoWo
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 May, 2004 05:36 pm
early porn, seems to lack that 'edge' doesn't it!
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 May, 2004 05:41 pm
For those who would prefer to read Malory (Mallory, Malorie, Mallerye) rather than Setanta:

The Death of Arthur, Vol. 1 at the University of Virginia[/b]

and a page which will link the entire work is at the same UVa site.[/b]
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 May, 2004 05:44 pm
See how evil them wimmins be?

The Lady of the Lake screwed Arthur, so that he screwed Elain, and then Mordred screwed him . . .


Durn ol' wimmins . . .
0 Replies
 
BoGoWo
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 May, 2004 05:51 pm
that's funny; if i'm going to be screwed, i always hope it will be by a woman! Rolling Eyes
0 Replies
 
Ethel2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 May, 2004 05:59 pm
Quote:
See how evil them wimmins be?

The Lady of the Lake screwed Arthur, so that he screwed Elain, and then Mordred screwed him . . .


Durn ol' wimmins . . .


And on this subject:

Quote:
From Analyze This

Ben: There may have been some unresolved Oedipal conflict.
Paul: English! English!
Ben: Oedipus was a Greek king who killed his father and married his mother
Paul: Fukking Greeks
Ben: It's an instinctual developmental drive. The young boy wants to replace his father so he can totally possess. . . his mother . . .
Paul: What are you sayin . . .that I want to fuk my mother?
Ben: No . . . i . . . i . . . it's a primal fantasy
Paul: You ever seen my mother?
Ben: Paul, I. . .
Paul: Are you out of your fukking mind?
Ben: It's Freud
Paul: Well then Freud's a sick fuk and you are too for bringing it up
Ben: I . . .it's . . .
Paul: Yyyuuck!
0 Replies
 
BoGoWo
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 May, 2004 06:11 pm
humour is at its best when it has rotted to the point of being completely 'black'! Laughing
0 Replies
 
dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 May, 2004 06:58 pm
so what was Freud's mother like?
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 May, 2004 07:43 pm
Attractive - clearly.
0 Replies
 
blatham
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 May, 2004 08:02 pm
A couple of glases of shnapps...and who cares.
0 Replies
 
blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 May, 2004 08:36 pm
blatham wrote:
A couple of glases of shnapps...and who cares.


well said...go home with a 10 at 2, wake up with a 2 at 10........
0 Replies
 
Ethel2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 May, 2004 09:37 pm
LOL...........

Freud's mother, since you ask, was in fact considered to be beautiful. She favored Freud, selling his sister's piano and depriving his sister of piano lessons because sister's practice interfered with Freud's study. His father was a kind man but Freud experienced him as weak. Freud had a memory of his father being mistreated because he was a Jew. Freud's father ignored the insult and told his son it was best to get along.

I agree Bo, humor is funniest when it's black as black can be. Or at least it's so for my taste. But then it's been well established that I'm an evil sort.
0 Replies
 
BoGoWo
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 May, 2004 09:55 pm
whatever Lola wants! Laughing
0 Replies
 
Ethel2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 May, 2004 10:12 pm
you bet! :wink:
0 Replies
 
BoGoWo
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 May, 2004 10:24 pm
if i lose my shirt on that one........
then i'll reach for my belt..... Twisted Evil
0 Replies
 
tell me why
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 May, 2004 07:46 pm
Lola....I'd watch out if I were you....
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 May, 2004 09:32 pm
It's nothing she can't handle. Twisted Evil
0 Replies
 
 

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