Right! Time to bring out the BIG STICK!!!

Forums: Waggery, Humor
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Now many of you have noticed that we are having some outages and loss of posts. Most of us would blame the Net or the A2K hardware or the A2K software.

After much investigation (about 7-8 minutes) I found the real problem: the A2K Hamsterware.

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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 16,752 • Replies: 74

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Details, Mr S, details please .....

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I suspect GWMD's. Gerbil weapons of mass destruction. Those gerbils are crazy mad...what with the rumours, and their sensitive, removable if you grip them too tightly tail tufts. They must have planned this wayyyy in advance.

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Ah, the Revenge of the Gerbils! I see! Razz

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Now the A2K site relies on hamsters to provide much of the 'grunt' to make it work. Here's a quick overview....

The hamster, in its wheel, provides A2K-volts:

http://home.columbus.rr.com/electricrodent/hamgen.gif

These are converted by the flux capacitor (bleow) into HTML codes and AOL startup discs.

http://wwwcmc.pharm.uu.nl/webcmc/www/crn_second_anim.gif

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hamsters are quite tasty . Like that guinea pig on a stick you get in Chile

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That's a terrific couple of pics, Mr S! Laughing

Now I see how it all works!

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These packets of information (called bits, bytes, bangles and baubles) are distributed through the 'Internet', powered by lasers. Lasers in the jungle somewhere, staccato signals of constant information, a loose affiliation of millionaires and billionaires and baby....

http://www.internet101.org/images/packet.gif

When this works all the computers have little smiley faces.

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You're in good form this morning, Mr Stillwater!

Very Happy

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This may look like a hug, but the computer is actually in attack mode. The smile is just there to give you a false sense of security.

http://www.vcn.bc.ca/wcdwa/smiling_computer2.gif

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Now this does not always work to plan. And many of us are unable to access sites and lose data and find ourselves spammed and that we have been charged for using porn sites that we are sure we never went near.....

This can lead to

http://computersurvival.com/graphics/animated%20graphics/techie_kicking_girls_comp.gif

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Yes!

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this...

http://computersurvival.com/graphics/animated%20graphics/man_madatcomputer_lc.gif

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or...

http://computersurvival.com/graphics/animated%20graphics/man_hitting_server_wi_a_lc.gif

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We blame everyone, but the real culprits! The hamsters!

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So. We've tried incentives, bonuses, overseas holidays, a bell and a mirror, even hemp seeds, but these shiftless, worthless cage queens won't get going!!!!

Like I said, THE BIG STICK.

My new 'incentive' plan is simple. Just introduce the subject