Quotes from WC Fields about woman
"No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree."
"(A woman) drove me to drink. It is the one thing I'm indebted to her for."
"Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one."
"Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive."
"Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of."
"Ah yes, she's a fine figure of a woman, isn't she? A handsome lass if there ever was one--and exceptionally well-preserved too."
"All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women."
"Thou shalt not covet they neighbor's wife unless she's a beauty."
"I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
"I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck."