The "Write A New Iraqi National Anthem" contest!!!

New Iraq sounds almost like New York
but we don't have hot dogs, because we don't eat pork,
Only Hebrew National for us, but how those words disgust
our proud ole Muslim pride, come on folks, join the ride
as we march ourselves to Starbucks to throw rocks at the American 'coffee guide'.
We don't wanna seem irkish, but make my coffee Turkish!
Hummus or Hamas, it all comes out in the wash!
So now we bow our heads in prayer and ask the great Allah
"Why could we not have been invaded....
by Canadaaaa?"

A good first effort. However, not likely to be a winner. Waggery's standards are notoriously high.

No submission will be considered final until submitted with a notice by the author/composer to that effect. All participants are invited - indeed, are urged - to edit their work as new submissions appear which tend to suddenly make a prior submission look paltry. Waggery winners are the very cream.

Think rousing refrain and compelling chorus. Think big. Think ART. Think alliteration. Do the words roll pleasingly off the tongue, or does the tongue get creamed to crap by conflictive consonant clusters?

(ps... plaigerism, if done with originality, gains bonus points)

Oh say can you see?
By the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed...

And the rockets red glare
The bombs bursting in air
Gave proof through the night that out mosque was still there...

Hmm...I shall rethink my strategy.

Promising...but a mere portion of a finished product.

True, a trailer so to speak. I'm back at it with a vengeance.

Oh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light,

What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?

Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight,

O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?

And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,

Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.

O say, does that Star-Spangled Banner yet wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?



On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,

Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,

What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,

As it fitfully blows, now conceals, now discloses?

Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,

In full glory reflected now shines on the stream:

'Tis the Star-Spangled Banner! O long may it wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.



Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand

Between their loved homes and the war's desolation!

Blest with victory and peace, may the heaven-rescued land

Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.

Then conquer we must, for our cause it is just,

And this be our motto: "In God is our trust".

And the Star-Spangled Banner forever shall wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Truly stirring Gautam...I removed my truckers hat while I read your post

Hate to say it, but I couldn't possibly improve on the actual Iraqi national anthem...it works on so many levels, although I did change one word:

A homeland that extended its wings over the horizon,

And wore the glory of civilization as a garment--

Blessed be the land of the two rivers,

A homeland of glorious determination and tolerance.

This homeland is made of flame and splendour

And pride unequaled by the high heavens.

It is a mountain that rises above the tops of the world

And a plane that embodies our pride.

Babylon is inherent in us and Assyria is ours,

And because of the glory of our background

History itself radiates with light,

And it is we alone who possess the anger of the sword

And the patience of the prophets.

Oh company of al-Ba'th, you pride of lions,

Oh pinnacle of pride and of inherited glory,

Advance, bringing terror, to a certain victory

And resurrect the time of al-Rashid in our land!

We are a generation who give all and toil to the utmost.

Oh expanse of glory, we have returned anew

To a nation that we build with unyielding determination.

And each martyr follows in the footsteps of a former martyr.

Our mighty nation is filled with pride and vigour

And the comrades build the fortresses of glory.

Oh Iraq, may you remain forever a refuge for all the Arabs

And be as suns that turn night into day!

I is for the many infidels we hate!
R is for the rising oil price rate!
A is for our anger at Abu Ghraib!
And Q is quick - who invented the astrolabe?

Yes, it's Iraq, home of Baghdad and guns!
Iraq, where women are covered more than Western nuns!
Iraq, a great place in the desert
where you can pitch your very own yurt
Iraq! Dip your toes in our Euphrates here in Iraq!

From the Banks of the Tigris
(to the music of "Horse With No Name"

When King George went mad
we all launched our Jihad,
recovered Baghdad
and built a new Iraq

Allah! Al Fatah!
Fa la la la la
Allah akhbar,
no more whiskey bars!

From the banks of the Tigris
to the caves of Tikrit,
for Islamic religion
and for the sake of it

Allah! Al Fatah!
Fa la la la la
Allah akhbar,
no more whiskey bars!

We listen to the Prophet,
so we wage holy wars,
we won't be a puppet
or the fifty-first star

Allah! Al Fatah!
Fa la la la la
Allah akhbar,
no more whiskey bars!

Deranged and perverted,
with their torturing babes,
they came not to save us
but to kill us again.

Allah! Al Fatah!
Fa la la la la
Allah akhbar,
no more whiskey bars!

In the desert,
they can't remember their names,
'cos we are the ones
to inflict them some pain

Allah! Al Fatah!
Fa la la la la
Allah akhbar,
no more whiskey bars!

We'll be in Paradise
with virgins galore,
and they'll all be nekkid
and their butts will be sore

Allah! Al Fatah!
Fa la la la la
Allah akhbar,
no more whiskey bars!

Oops, my first one was more for their nascent tourist trade (sort of like the I Love New York jingle). Here's a pop song:

M'hammed works in the grocery store
saving his dinars for some day
Mama Fatima left a note on the door
she said, "Ahmed, move out to the desert."
Ah, but if you come over to Iraq -ack-ack-ack-ack-ack
You outta know by know
we won't eat bacon for a snack
is that all you get for a shekel?

And it seems such a waste of mines
and if that's what you're all about
Mama, good luck movin' up
'cause I'm moving South
to Najaf, yeah, I'm movin' South ....


PS My humblest apologies to Billy Joel.

Ooh, that's good fbaezer....back to the drawing board for me.

Jesus likes the new Iraqi,
Allah likes Iraqi II.
Skeptics, shiites, browns and whites,
Oil is precious in their sights.
Jesus likes the new Iraqi of the world.

(sung to the tune of Tramp, Tramp, Tramp the Boys are Marching, and for Southern Iraq only)

Thanks, blatham for a wee smile.

Wonderful stuff. I put down my pen, vanquished

Wow what talents I am so proud of y'all. I await dear Blathams comments.

Are we the people going to be allowed to vote on which anthem is our favorite or is the leader to freely choose the best one for us.

AMERICA

AKHMED
Iraq,
You lovely oil field . . .
desert of tropical breezes.
Always the pineapples growing, Noriega!
Always the coffee blossoms blowing . . .(stay awake)

AKHBAR
Iraq...
You ugly piece of sand . . .
Island of political diseases.
Always the hurricanes blowing, (wind up your ass Bush)
Always the population growing . . . (and we are strong)
And the money owing,
And the babies crying,
And the bullets flying.
I like the island Manhattan.
Smoke on your pipe and put that in!

OTHERS
I like to be in America!
O.K. by me in America!
Ev'rything free in America
For a small fee in America!

AKHMED
I like the city of Kabul.

AKHBAR
I know a boat you can get on.

AKHMED
Hundreds of flowers in full bloom.

AKHBAR
Hundreds of people in each room!

ALL
Automobile in America,
Chromium steel in America,
Wire-spoke wheel in America,
Very big deal in America!

AKHMED
I'll drive a tank through New York.

AKHBAR
If there's a road you can drive on.

AKHMED
I'll give my cousins a free ride, and Canadian passports.

AKHBAR
How you get all of them inside?

ALL
Immigrant goes to America,
Many hellos in America;
Nobody knows in America
Al Quada's in America!

AKHMED
I'll bring a T.V. to Saddam, or his clone.

AKHBAR
If there a current to turn on!

AKHMED
I'll give them new brain-washing machine.

AKHBAR
What have they got there to keep clean?

ALL
I like the shores of America!
Comfort is yours in America!
Knobs on the doors in America,
Wall-to-wall floors in America!

AKHMED
When will I go back to Bagdhad?

AKHBAR
When you will shut up and get gone?

AKHMED
Everyone there will give big cheer!

AKHBAR
Everyone there will have moved here!

bookmarking

panzade wimpingly moaned...

Be advised, quitters lose Waggery membership. Men with hairy knuckles will take it away.

JoanneDorel, who got D in reading assimilation but A in alternate ideas , asks...

Not a bad notion. The Board of Editors at Waggery will consider it. Past experience suggests your proposal will gain proper study in exchange from proferred sexual favors.

Perhaps, when all submissions in and finalized, we can place them on a virginal thread and make it a site wide vote.

The winner will achieve undreamt of social status within the community.