Thanks. I appreciate the responses, including the nerdy version, since there seem to be no carbs or fat involved.
"Well, m'dear," she sez to herself
pushing her gin to the back of the shelf,
"A teeny martini makes you fatter than beer.
No fat, no carbs, but stretching your garbs
--it's chemistry simple and clear.
"No wonder you're shedding a tear, m'dear.
Sapphire double has doubled your trouble
at 800 calories near."
We're loathe to discover the cause of our blubber
but the beer shall be preferable here.