1
   

My friend, Clyde Buckowski is really, really ticked off.

 
 
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 07:45 am
Edit [Moderator]: Moved from General to Waggery.com

Clyde's a hell of a nice guy. He's the garbageman in town. Has been for goin' on forty years now.

He stopped in to get the garbage this morning and I could tell by the way he was banging the cans around that he was pretty pissed about something.

I strolled out onto my porch and yelled for him to come on in and set for a spell.

Clyde came in the house and said, "Hi, Gus. Sure could use a little brandy in that coffee."

I reached into the cupboard, grabbed the brandy bottle, and poured a good amount of brandy into his coffee. I handed him the coffee and asked, "What's wrong, Clyde? Something seems to be troubling you."

"It's this damn garbage business, Gus. I've been doing this my whole life and I've really enjoyed it for the most part, but sometimes people put stuff in the garbage that just don't belong there. I'm just sick of dealin' with some of the crap."

"Like what, Clyde?", I asked. "What do they put in the garbage?"

Clyde took a pull on his coffee and the brandy seemed to be doing its magic; he was calming down quite a bit.

"Just stuff, Gus. Dirty diapers, car batteries, old tires, stuff like that. They shouldn't be throwing that stuff in the garbage. My job is tough enough the way it is. But this morning I found something that was so repulsive, so inconsiderate, that I felt like driving my friggin' garbage truck right through their house. I was that pissed!"

I leaned forward in my chair and asked, "What the hell was it, Clyde?"

Clyde started shaking a little and then said, and there was murder in his eyes when he said this, " A friggin' dead skunk! Looked like the poor bastard had been electrocuted. There was a piece of wire in his mouth and all the hair on his head was burned."

I gasped and then asked, "What sort of inhuman bastard would put a dead skunk out with the garbage?"

"You know that blonde broad that lives on the edge of town with her husband and kid? The one with the house that has that gaping hole in the foundation?"

"Oh, yeah, I know who you're talking about. Name's Eva. It was her, huh? Doesn't surprise me. Not one bit."

We drank our coffee in silence after that, me and Clyde, and wondered about the people that roam this planet.
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 5,054 • Replies: 20
No top replies

 
farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 07:51 am
yep, helluva nice guy. Do anything for ya.
0 Replies
 
colorbook
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 08:01 am
Skunks like a swampy area...seems they must be breeding somewhere close by. Capybaras and skunks can live as one. By the way, did you happen to know that you can make coats from capybara and skunk fur? Eva, you better check this out.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 10:17 am
That's good information, colorbook. I was beginning to feel guilty about not putting a $20 bill on the skunk sack for Clyde, but now I realize the skunk pelt was probably worth at least that.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 10:22 am
BTW, we don't live on the edge of town. We live smack dab in the city center, less than a mile from downtown but near the river where there is a lot of wildlife. They visit us by way of the sewers. Raccoons, possums, lots of things...even an occasional great blue heron.
0 Replies
 
blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 10:22 am
He may barter it for another bottle of brandy.....
0 Replies
 
blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 10:24 am
Eva wrote:
BTW, we don't live on the edge of town. We live smack dab in the city center, less than a mile from downtown but near the river where there is a lot of wildlife. They visit us by way of the sewers. Raccoons, possums, lots of things...even an occasional great blue heron.


c'mon and go along withe program Eva....this could be a fun one.....so Gus, what does Clyde do with the cast off Diva cups... Brandy snifters?
0 Replies
 
dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 10:24 am
I knew Clyde and he was no friend of Gus. As to the skunk, Eva had already been reported to P.E.T.A. aqnd the next time she is within hearing distance (about a foot and a half I rekon) I will let her know personally.
0 Replies
 
BumbleBeeBoogie
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 10:31 am
BBB
I knew that's what the hole in the house's foundation was for. The entrance to the hideout to escape from P.E.T.A. Smart gal, that Eva.

Gus, here's to your garbage man - I hope he stops in for a chat on garbage pickup day each week.

BBB Drunk Drunk Drunk Drunk Drunk
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 10:34 am
That's okay with me if he barters the skunk pelt for a bottle of brandy, bear. He's gonna hafta go a ways out of town to find a place that'll do that, though. Maybe there's a trading post near Gus?
0 Replies
 
blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 10:36 am
Eva wrote:
That's okay with me if he barters the skunk pelt for a bottle of brandy, bear. He's gonna hafta go a ways out of town to find a place that'll do that, though. Maybe there's a trading post near Gus?


How far are you from Ada?
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 10:37 am
Well, thanks a WHOLE BUNCH, guys. Now everybody knows about my hidey hole. Just blasted that news across the whole World Wide Web, didn't you? Jeez...

'Scuse me, I gotta go move the gold and silver to another spot now. And this time, I'm not telling you where.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 10:40 am
About 120 miles and 25 years away, bear. Yeah, Ada might have a trading post. They're backwards enough down there.

(My first hubby's in-laws lived there. Awful place. Not having to go there again is yet another benefit of divorcing the s.o.b.)
0 Replies
 
blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 11:17 am
uh oh...we've started some **** now....squinney's folks live in Ada......I've been here......once.....nice folks hers but.......DAMN!!!!!!! Although they do now have a Wal Mart , Home Depot and basic cable........that's pretty uptown for there....
0 Replies
 
BumbleBeeBoogie
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 11:46 am
Gus
Isn't it wonderful how Gus finds his inspiration in strange places?

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=33382&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0&sid=cd42f5675c55359e6b7cc9420637760d
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 03:45 pm
Gus only knows to LOOK in strange places!
0 Replies
 
colorbook
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 03:57 pm
It looks like he started this thread and then...high tailed it out of here.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 10:37 pm
Yep, that's his M.O.
0 Replies
 
Magus
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 10:44 pm
A2K really needs more Trash posts.
Gotsta have more ATMOSPHERE.
Gawd forbid the site not stink like Abuzz eventually did... thanks to the ministrations of the olfactorily gifted.
0 Replies
 
blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 11:58 pm
Magus wrote:
A2K really needs more Trash posts.
Gotsta have more ATMOSPHERE.
Gawd forbid the site not stink like Abuzz eventually did... thanks to the ministrations of the olfactorily gifted.


easy buster....Gus is well loved around here...by more than just this Bear....(that doesn't mean you can touch my ass Gus)
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

 
  1. Forums
  2. » My friend, Clyde Buckowski is really, really ticked off.
Copyright © 2020 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 10/21/2020 at 06:16:09