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My Wife Cheated on me but denies, for atleast 3 months with ex-coworker

 
 
Reply Mon 2 May, 2016 10:00 am
We have been married for 16 years, we have one son 10 yrs, Recently my wife went out to a colleagues son's 1yr old party. Myself and my son stayed back at home, she had trouble getting home, I called to help her, but I found that she called a number at that time from phone on phone company web site. When she got home i asked what the number was, she completely denied she never called, and i did reverse lookup and found that guys name, When I asked about who he was she said she doesn't know, but after lot of confrontation she said it was job related and he moved to different company and she was trying for job there. but I guess it would not be on Sunday evening.
I was really mad and did more look up of the phone on previous months billing cycles, found several calls in a day at-least three to four days in a week. I started asking more questions and what, she initially started denying saying those calls went by mistake,I could agree if there were one or two calls but not for 100 calls. Later that night she broke down crying and came to be asking for mercy and forgiveness. I was shocked didn't know what to say, I asked if they had sex, she denied and said it was for attention. But she has erased every single call from call log on phone every time she made, also i caught that she was communicating on linked in(she went to one of the friends house to ask how to delete linkedin message, found out from her friend), she said she deleted all linkedin messages. But still denies having sex...when asked how long this has been going on she says since Jan until April, even though that guy was colleague for 10 years in same company. The other things I had seen was she bought expensive lingerie, acting weird, shaving private area, sometimes she used to wake up in the morning and cry. I have lost trust in her, she lied about all this as I had to dig thru to find out.
Should I believe her denial of not having sex ?
what should i do now, i am so devastated, my son has some needs and we have big house having married for 16 years, it is hard for me to digest that this is happening....my son doesn't what the house sold as he grew up there and i have been going back and forth in my mind what to do...please advise



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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 2,331 • Replies: 10
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 May, 2016 10:05 am
@jack1234,
you know what ... your wife has lied to you, you don't trust your wife. whether or not she had sex with someone else is unimportant in comparison to those two things.

if you want to continue in the marriage, consider asking your wife if she will attend couples counselling with you. if you want to end the marriage, invite your wife to attend couples counselling with you. in either case, you both need to work on your relationship.
jack1234
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 May, 2016 11:27 am
@ehBeth,
I am so torn, after 16 years of marriage and one lovely son...i am not sure what to do...i have lost trust and respect for her...
She is pleading to me to not break the marriage and ready to do whatever...but i am so hurt and i don't know what she can do ahead...

sorry about my grammar and spellings not in good state of mind..
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 May, 2016 11:30 am
@jack1234,
Talk to a counsellor . Your wife is apparently willing to work to save the marriage.

At this point, anything would be better than the distrust you feel.

Take the opportunity to improve the relationship while it's there.
jack1234
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 May, 2016 11:56 am
@ehBeth,
Thanks Beth..how can i find any local counselors, i have not done this before..don't know...do they also specialize in adultery or cheating ?
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 May, 2016 12:08 pm
@jack1234,
I'd start by asking my family doctor for a recommendation of a family/couples counsellor. Sometimes a minister/priest can also make a recommendation. If you have benefits through work, sometimes they have companies that will also make confidential referrals.
0 Replies
 
darkhole
 
  0  
Reply Wed 11 May, 2016 05:03 am
all you need is evidence, you can accuse your partner but do not act based on accusations act based on facts and evidence, in todays world its hard to cheat and not get caught, it is simple communication is always involved in every cheating relationship according to someone who helped me when i was actually cheating on my wife he gave my wife the evidence she needed and she caught me with evidence i didnt wait for her to confront me i owned up to my dirty life and promised it would stop and i stopped till today, when i am free i just like to help those in such shoes because i knew how much it cost me cheating it almost tore my family apart
0 Replies
 
niceguy47460
 
  -1  
Reply Tue 21 Feb, 2017 10:41 pm
@jack1234,
leave her if she is buying that stuff and shaving down there it is for him and they are having sex . put her stuff on the lawn and tell her not to come back .
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Wed 22 Feb, 2017 07:57 am
@niceguy47460,
You're SUCH a nice guy.

#sarcasm
Tiger81
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Feb, 2017 08:39 am
@jespah,
He's annoying too, digging up all these old posts.
0 Replies
 
niceguy47460
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Apr, 2017 09:43 am
@jespah,
well to explain myself a little . I to was cheated on and sometimes the best way to show them you won't stand for it is tuff love . they will either stop what they are doing or be gone either way it is good . it's like hitting someone without touching them . and no I don't hit women so . once I took it like people on here are and almost ended my life from depression . then I woke up
0 Replies
 
 

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