23
   

My girlfriend was a Slut

 
 
Nicor
 
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 01:53 am
This is the first time i use this forum, i just want to hear some of your opinions.

I have been together with my girlfriend for over 3 months now, everything was great as it always is at the start of a relationship and we both were really happy but now i learned something about her i have a hard time dealing with.

Apparently as the title says she was a slut, she had many, many random guys in her past (fyi she is 23, im 21) since she was 17, at that time she started having sex with just random different people. That has been going on for at least one year although probably longer.

Now i just don't know what to do with that information. Because while on the one side i actually feel i could actually love her, this is just disgusting to me, i mean everyone can do what they like but the thought that she just got in bed (if they even made it that far and it wasn't just inside a club or bar) with hundreds of guys is something i have a hard time dealing with.

Now i want to ask about your opinions, how would you react to that information ? Do you think i'm overreacting, because im seriously thinking about ending it with her.
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Type: Question • Score: 23 • Views: 5,859 • Replies: 61

 
roger
 
  2  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 04:30 am
@Nicor,
If I knew all this to be true, I would let her go. I don't actually know, and I am not you.
Nicor
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 05:31 am
@roger,
It is ture, i got told by a friend and confronted her about it and she did admit it.
0 Replies
 
FBM
 
  3  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 05:52 am
@Nicor,
People have different values, so I'm not sure anyone else can give you exactly the best advice for you. For example, it wouldn't bother me how many men my girlfriend had slept with in the past. I'm not curious and never even ask. But I accept that people have different values. What's important here is whether or not you consider it to be a deal breaker. I hate to sound trite, but this seems to me to be a question you have to answer for yourself.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  4  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 08:19 am
YOU think she's a slut and can't (won't) get over it - so let her go.

She will find a guy who does not focus on her past.
Lash
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 09:50 am
@PUNKEY,
Hi guy. I think Punkey is correct. Some people feel free to have sex with whoever they like based on desire.

Others make some kind of determination about where to draw their limiting line almost always based on societal, religious or family mores.

Some may say she's living very authentically by doing what she pleases with her own body. Others would ask how your bag number compare to hers, and are you being sexist against her. Are you as disapproving of your male buds' sexual bag numbers?

At any rate, if this part of who she is bothers you as much as you portray, I think you should move on.
0 Replies
 
engineer
 
  5  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 10:49 am
@Nicor,
Nicor wrote:

Do you think i'm overreacting, because im seriously thinking about ending it with her.

Welcome to the forum.

Yes, you are way overreacting. If she is being exclusive with you now, then why do you care about her past? Were you a virgin entering the relationship? If she expected you to be a virgin, is that reasonable? That said, you might as well end it with both her and your "friend" who told you this. For her, you have already blown this up in your mind to her being with "hundreds" of guys and not even getting out of the bar. I doubt you are going to be able to put this out of your mind and if you are already calling her a "slut" I doubt there is any hope for you having a loving, respectful relationship. As for your friend who told you this, maybe he's not such a good friend.
edgarblythe
 
  4  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 11:53 am
I seen this Charleton Heston cowboy movie just yesterday, in which the girl he marries has a harlot's past. In the end, the guy that exposed her past, as well as the buddies trying to take advantage as well as shaming him were all shot dead. Through the entire movie, she stayed loyal to good old Charleton and in the end he let go of the past. Not saying this will happen for you, 'cause not everybody is a hero, like him.
Lash
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 12:23 pm
@edgarblythe,
Plus, learning to be a sure shot takes time. Wink
0 Replies
 
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 12:47 pm
@engineer,
True; there will never be trust in the future.
0 Replies
 
Nicor
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 03:28 pm
My problem is that she is now 23 years old and had over 100 different partners that is not normal to me. She went into bars picked a guy and then had sex with him.
I did not expect a Virgin no but someone who cares about himself doesn't just **** with everything that walks around imo.
And as I said it's not about picking someone and going home it was about one or even multiple people wherever she was. If you asked her for a blowjob she would have given it to you.
And unfortunately this is not me making it worse than it was, it was exactly like that.

Personally I just find that disgusting
It's interesting how most people think different here but i made my mind up already.

Thanks for your opinions tho.
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 03:37 pm
@Nicor,
Most of the people responding are 2 or 3 times your age (or older).

We've got a different perspective on life and people.
FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 03:41 pm
@Nicor,
If I was to do the math here, 17 - 23 years of age, over 100 partners, and "now" only "now" has a boyfriend.

I would be firstly questioning how the heck 100? Then I'd be asking why did she ever feel that she could not have or did not want a boyfriend.

Then I would be thinking, ****, she choose me to settle down with, no more feeling that she just has to have sex only.

No commitment. or was that comment, required.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 03:44 pm
I had a year or more as a slut (no, not a hundred but some of what I now think people mean by the word 'hookups'. It was a kind of metamorphosis after mysteriously losing someone I loved a lot. I regrouped. I would have disgusted you, you poor thing.
I'm the age people call 'elderly' now. Not much I regret in life, though there are some matters I would re-work, looking back. Not that particular year, though.

In a way, I think your finding her actions disgusting as a kind of human fear of what we can get into, or up to. She may have changed, or more likely thinking of changing. Or, not.

In any case, you are wrong for each other. I wish you both well, since I probably understand her, and can also understand your reactive take on her experience, however much I don't like it.
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 03:49 pm
So a friend told you and the number was an even 100? I would question this if it is really true.
Have you actually asked her why she had so many sexual encounters?

On second thought, it doesn't matter - you cannot live with the fact that your girlfriend could compare you to all the others when in reality, they probably didn't measure up to you, since she's been with you 3 months already.
Regardless, do her and yourself a favor and speak to her about this - you owe it to her and yourself too.

....and on third thought: grow up!!
edgarblythe
 
  3  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 03:59 pm
Seriously, I became acquainted with a girl, in 1970, who was a lot like that. When she met a person I have known all my life, she set her sights on him. Almost 46 years later, she is still faithful to that one man. There are no guarantees that it could be like this for you, or that you would even want it. If she has reasonable intelligence and truly wants you. it could happen, though.
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  4  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 04:05 pm
@Nicor,
Nicor wrote:
My girlfriend was a Slut

Her boyfriend is kind of a jackass.
Nicor
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 04:06 pm
@CalamityJane,
No you don't get it.
It's not even about comparing against the other partners.
The fact that she just let herself be fucked by random guys in seedy places is what I can't deal with.
It shows that you have zero respect for yourself.

And no it wasn't an even 100, her friend told me about so I asked her and she confirmed that since she was 17 she had hundreds of partners, I did not ask for specific numbers tho.
Nicor
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 04:07 pm
@ehBeth,
Yeah that's what I thought as well.
0 Replies
 
Nicor
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 04:09 pm
@DrewDad,
She said herself she was a slut, her words not mine
As is said for me that means zero respect for herself.
 

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