Lord Ellpus wrote:Msolga, Heeven, Nimh and Margo.....you are all lovely people and I would like to take this opportunity to send three of you a virtual kiss.
Nimh on the other hand, has my full permission to kiss one of those Hungarian beauties that flit past his office.
Sorry about the earlier venting, but I just had the urge, if you know what I mean.
I went to the home that day, and sat by Mum as they explained that she had to stay on for a further six weeks, in order to make sure she was nursed properly back to health. She sat there and agreed with everything that was said, and seemed to fully accept the fact that she was unable to go home in her present state. It was as if she was a little child again, being shown the way by grown ups. This, I've come to realise, is how she is most of the time.
She seems to live only for the "now", if that makes sense, and the important things in her life now seem to revolve around the daily routines of the care home.
At the end of the little meeting, she was asked if she had any questions, and she asked what the time was. When told it was just gone midday, she got a bit flustered and told us that we had better get her to the dining table, as lunch was about to be served. I walked her to the table and showed her to a chair, and she said "Not THIS one....THAT'S my chair over there! I ALWAYS sit there!"
So.....after what I thought was going to be a crunch meeting with lots of tears, and after several days of worrying about it and dreading the day, she was only worried about missing her lunch and sitting at the correct place!
I still have the guilts that won't go away, and still have the dreaded task of clearing her place out behind her back, and STACKS of forms to fill in, but I can see now that she is basically much happier where she is, and that she has almost fully adapted to her new life. She can't remember where she used to live, can't describe it at all, and hasn't made one mention re. her beloved budgie.
Like I said, she only lives for the "now", and thankfully, the "now" seems to be quite enjoyable. No doubt she'll suddenly have a go at me about something or other in the future, but like Heev said, it's only because I am a connection to her past life.
One thing's for certain, it's bloody wonderful not to have the phone ringing constantly, and having to chase over every five minutes in order to make sure she's OK.
Again, thanks for your concern, guys.
Well......'Tis done!
I spent most of yesterday, boiling my nadgers off on the hottest day of the year, clearing the last "wanted" bits and pieces out of Mum's maisonette. TV's HiFi, microwave, tables...you name it, I fitted it into my car (four trips).
Today, I had the unenviable task of visiting Mum at the home and getting her to sign the "Termination of Tenancy" form, which obviously registered with her, as there were lots of tears, name calling and tantrums. It was the final link with her old world that was being severed...quite understandable, really.
I never knew she had such a vast vocabulary of swear words.
I left there feeling an utter turd, bought a six pack of my favourite german lager (deep chilled from the shop fridge) , a pork pie, and am now going to sit in the shady part of the garden until I have eaten said pie and finished at least three of the beers. I may even finish them all.
Still, like I said......'Tis done!
Time to move on.
)
