rebound, rebound
mchalel wrote:No i cant say i'm proud, but i guess i feel better that I did sleep with my ex husband and have been talking to him every day since it happened if my most recent ex was going to meet someone else a week and a half after we broke up.
rebound, rebound, who has the upper hand on rebounding? Oh, that would be YOU--glad, feeling better YOU.
When you're done talking the self-serving trash, mchalel . . . tell us how you truly feel.
Who do you really love, if anyone?
re
why are you making it sound like i'm the only one who's done anythign wrong?
Prepare the scorecard
mchalel wrote:why are you making it sound like i'm the only one who's done anythign wrong?
Prepare your scorecard and have it ready for the next relationship. You can score every battle and keep track of who is right and who is wrong. When your next relationship ends--and it will--you can bring the scorecard to this forum and show us how you suffered. All that matters is how many points are in each person's "wrong" column, I guess.
Regardless of who is right or wrong, mchalel--who do you love? Do you love your ex-boyfriend? Yes or no?
Re: re
mchalel wrote:I UNDERSTAND that I have done childish things and said hurtful things. However if he is dating someone else (who he met a week and a half after we broke up) then i am GLAD i said those hurtful things. Most people do not date someone a year, then a week and a half are just back in the game again meeting women and telling their ex about it. I NEVER would have told of the incident with my ex, but when he told me he was dating a model i was like, well of course i'm going to tell him what i did. I didnt want him thinking he coulud tell me he's dating someone else and that i'm just pining over him. When he did say he was dating someone else, I said, well i guess i do feel hurt that you are so quickly seeing someone. He was like, well you shouldnt be, it's not serious, then added in that he still loves me and thinks about me a lot. I asked, well why are you dating someone else then. He just said, why not. I felt myself getting more and more mad that he was claiming to be dating someone else so soon after me that i just burst and thought, well he is obviosly trying to hurt me by telling me he's seeing someone else so i'm going to hurt him back.
A year is not very long mchalel. I lived with the father of my son for 6 years and he had a girlfriend 2 days after we split up. 2 weeks later, he asked me if I thought she was pretty. He threw this woman, not only in my face, but in our 5 year old sons face as well. Don't you feel sorry for us?
Debra-Law--
Therapy is where you find it--you're a resourceful woman and deserve an outlet.
Hold your dominion.
excuse me? LOL
Noddy24 wrote:Debra-Law--
Therapy is where you find it--you're a resourceful woman and deserve an outlet.
Noddy? Are you my 11:11 spiritual guide? Am I supposed to enter therapy to find my outlet? LOL (I'm just a little lost on the meaning of your post; maybe I'm being too pointed with mchalel trying to push her into some meaningful self-evaluation? LOL)
BTW, Montana--you were LUCKY that your ex-hubby found someone new right away even though he tried to rub your nose in it. It's much easier to move on with your life when your ex isn't carrying a torch for you. I often feel guilty for being so happy in my relationship when I think about my ex-husband. I truly wish he would find someone to share his life--he's a much better man today then when I first met him--he's learned a lot of valuable lessons over the years--and he deserves to be happy. It breaks my heart that he's still waiting for me to "come home" after 15 years! It ain't going to happen....
re
I find it very catty the way so many posters highjack threads here and start talking about the original poster like they're not even there...nice.
So sorry Mchalel
mchalel wrote:I find it very catty the way so many posters highjack threads here and start talking about the original poster like they're not even there...nice.
Poor Mchalel. So sorry. Of course, we know that you want everything to be about YOU. It was very inconsiderate of us to forget that momentarily. But it was good of you to jump back into the thread and remind us of the importance of YOU one more time.
So mchalel....
Back to total focus upon mchalel:
Who do you love, mchalel. Do you love your ex-boyfriend?
People who love each other don't treat one another like garbage. Yeah, I know, it's profound.
So give it up. Forget him and move on. Who the hell cares who or what he's dating? Big freakin' deal! It's not important anymore.
And next time, be kinder, and the man will be kinder to you. Simple, yes, but it really works.
Debra
Oh, I agree. My ex did me the biggest favor ever. He eliminated the chance of me making the huge mistake of taking him back for the 20th time and I have thanked him for that. Life is great ;-)
I'm sorry for thinking of myself for a moment mchalel. I swear. it'll never happen again.
So how are you feeling today?
right on!
jespah wrote:People who love each other don't treat one another like garbage. Yeah, I know, it's profound.
So give it up. Forget him and move on. Who the hell cares who or what he's dating? Big freakin' deal! It's not important anymore.
And next time, be kinder, and the man will be kinder to you. Simple, yes, but it really works.
So true!
Mchalel, are you listening? Can you accept this simple concept concerning good relationships or do you want to ignore it by attaching a lot of "yeah, buts" to the end?
This is your thread, mchalel. Are you done talking? Can we focus on others now or do you still want our attention?
mchale complained:
Quote: I find it very catty the way so many posters highjack threads here and start talking about the original poster like they're not even there...nice.
A very interesting comment. Can you expand your thoughts?
I've been listening here, since other responders to what you, mchalel, have said what I would have. I see that you haven't really listened and understood their points, you haven't internalized what they are saying. Debra Law has been fairly pounding about it, but is observant in her insistence that you're looking at this all in a very self involved manner, and that her way out of this kind of mess as a constant occurrence is to snap out of that view of life.
Others agree, although they have worded it more gently, and I agree too. I would use the word 'solipsistic' as a adjective for your posts - that means that "the self is the only reality". I know you don't think that your boyfriend or ex are unreal, but I mean that you don't seem to make the jump to feel what they might if you were in their place listening to you.
After seven pages, it should be quite all right for us to talk to each other here. It is really all right on the first page. This is a colloquial forum and we try to support each other generally. Surprising as it may seem, we are trying to support you towards having a happy life - it isn't all just about being with one guy or the other, deriving your happiness from what they say to you at any given time. We want you to have the self respect, self regard to enjoy being just by yourself, to free yourself from being so needy of men's responses to you and actually be interested in who they are (and to let go of 'poor choices' since you don't need them for self respect). What will happen then, as a kind of side effect, is that since you are empathetic to them as humans, they will respond better to you as a person too.
nice and gentle
Osso:
Those were nice words that you offered to Mchalel. And true ones!
I hope you were able to gently hammer the nail into the thickness which none of the rest of us could penetrate. Oops. That might not have been very nice or gentle. I promise to undergo sensitivity therapy--and we know how much mchalel values promises. Oops. There I go again....
mchalel, I do hope you're able to laugh and feel better!
Re: re
mchalel wrote: Most people do not date someone a year, then a week and a half are just back in the game again meeting women and telling their ex about it.
People who do this have usually not just met the new partner. And it happens all the time. I think you are wrong in saying most people don't. I think most people do "get back on the horse" after 1 1/2 weeks, mainly because they've already found a replacement.
re
well i asked him if he met this person before we broke up and he said of course not...he had been with me a few days before we broke up. I realize it's not impossible that he met someone before we broke up, but Im thinking that he did not.
I didnt mean that others cant share there stories here, but i think it's kind of rude to mock me by saying things like, oh mchalel doesnt listen or mchalel is crazy or thick.
Rudeness born of frustration dearie. They feel you are ignoring them.
re
I really dont think I am ignoring. What does everyone want me to do? I have thought about the situation and i am still feeling sick that he is seeing someone...I feel betrayed i guess even though we are broken up...i just cant believe he would so quickly be seeing someone else and tell me about it! Why would he tell me about it??? obviously to hurt me! i hadnt even contacted him in 5 days, he contacted ME i wrote back and this all started. I cant sleep because of this ):
This has been an unhealthy relationship. On both sides. What you have to ask yourself is "Why does he have so much power over me?" Why should he be able to hurt you so, why is he able to draw you into such silly (admit it, they were silly) attacks on him.
Did you really love him or were you just trying to fill a hole in your life?
