so hurt again...

Montana, are you willing to share some lobster with Debra?

I will not only share my lovster with Debra, but she is welcome to come sit at our table anytime at all :-D

I think you left out one thing, Debra. You should also have advised her to keep up the verbal abuse so her ex-boyfriend will know who's boss. Everyone knows, it's so much easier to control a man who's whipped. Such a display of strength is sure to make him melt and come running back to her, begging for forgiveness.



'Scuse me, I need to go get another deck chair for Debra. She's gonna fit right in.

you betcha!
Hi Eva.

I agree. I left so much out and you're right. A verbally-abused man is much easier to control. The effective pussy-whipping of a man is a fine art that all women should master.

I also forgot about the punishing effects of the proverbial dog house. When you finally let your man out of the dog house, he mournfully creeps back in the house with his tail cowering between his legs. The dog house is a powerful tool in our female repertory.

Well, I'm ready for a little lobster tail smothered in butter....

Re: re


I would be upset if I lost someone I truly cared for or loved. I would not get upset if he told me he was dating a model while we are in the middle of a pissing contest. And that is what was going on.

Looks aren't everything. She could be a model but be a real biatch!!

re
my word....I have said before that HE also took part in the bashing, it wasnt just me who started it all.....you know he may have loved me at one point, but quite frankly how can it mean sh*t when a week and a half later he is "dating" someone else?? It didnt mean sh*t if he feels the need to be with another woman so badly even though he apparently still loves me and thinks of me a lot. He doesnt know what love is if love is finding someone else a week and a half after you've broken up with someone.

Debra, LMAO! My sentiments exactly!

mchalel, he texted you a happy birthday message...not a marriage proposal. By the way you responded, I doubt if you'll get one from him next year

mchalel, you remind me of someone I know.
Here's the plain truth; the man is not your problem.

No he never loved you, but you never loved him either, did you (be really honest now).

Yes, the next guy you go out with is going to treat you the exact same way, sorry luv but that's the way it is.

Reason? Because it's all you! You chose the man, you'll choose the next one by the same poor standards and terrible judgement. When things went wrong, you made them worse.

Yep, the guy may be a beast, but you wanted to be with him.

If you want to find a lasting relationship you absolutely HAVE to overhaul your judgement! Firstly, choose better men, not by their looks or their wallet size (or any other size) or how fantastic they are in bed. Just 'cause they flatter you does NOT mean they give a damn.

Secondly, your response mechanism totally SUCKS! If he's a bastard, give him the flick, stop sinking to his immature level (you may have got the idea by now that no-one finds that particularly impressive). You don't have to behave like a moron just 'cause he did first.

Men will lie and tell you that they love you to get you into bed and they'll keep on lying to keep you there. Crying like baby because you threatened to leave is absolutely NO indication of his sincerity. AT ALL!!! (I know quite a few guys who can cry at will, it's quite remarkable, I always find it fascinating to watch)

Love isn't about whether or not you can call him into line and make him buy you presents whenever you want, it's about feeling, and the fact that you are complaining about this stupid petty argument rather than a deep and aching hurt at being parted from this person is a great indication that you never had much feeling for him at all.

Hmmm I agree with Fortune (why do I have a feeling I know who Fortune is talking about? *raises eyebrow*. lol, perhaps not) ANYWAY, she's right.
1. From your post what I can see is you pretty much just asking for an argument. You told him you slept with someone and then got angry because he said he had too? I don't understand, why if you have broken up is it such a problem he's with someone else? Isn't that what's supposed to happen once you break up? You move on and find another love of your life, perhaps someone who is really right for you?
2. I don't know the details to why you're sticking with this guy if you broke up with him, and by sticking I mean lingering around. I don't know why you broke up, so I can't really say what to do and what not to do BUT I'm going to do it anyway. If you want this guy, then want him, but if you don't, then get over him and move on. You are the creator of your life, what you tolerate you are eventually accepting in your life. This means, if you're tolerating the **** this guy is giving you and the pain he is giving you then you're accepting it, and your next relationship is going to be the same. And the one after that, and the one after that, until you wake up and stop it and realise what you DO want and go for it. Have happiness, because you CAN have it, have unconditional love because you CAN have it. And you can have it as much as you want, for as long as you want. Trust me, it's taken me years to wake up to this but you can have it. Its just a matter of stopping the crap, stepping out of it, and opening up to the sunlight.

Soft shell crab sammiches with saffron mayo are now availible at the virtual pub. There's nothing like something fried and fatty to get your mind off of toxic people.

re
well it surely did seem like he loved me-if he didnt then he is a complete psycho. He drove 900 miles to see me for a weekend on 3 different occasions, then had to drive back. i really dont see why someone would do that for a booty call. Maybe he thoght he loved me, because i truly feel like i fell in love with him...but i dont know that it was really love. I realize that when people have broken up, that's it, it's done, but it is hurtful when they immediately start dating someone else...and then tell me about it? I said i slept with someone to get info out of him...and i did...unless of course he is lying to piss me off. I will never know...

Run, run, run!


mchalel:

I see that you're still stuck on yourself and haven't listened to a word anyone here has said.

I'm sure your ex-boyfriend did love you. But, he was in love with a self-centered woman who tortured him mentally and emotionally for the purpose of feeding her own ego and sense of self-importance. He finally figured out who you were and what you were about; he had his fill of your irrational temper tantrums; and he broke up with you. Good for him!

Do you understand that or do we have to repeat that another million times?

As soon as your most recent ex-boyfriend broke up with you, you ran off and had sex with your soon-to-be ex-husband. So, using your brand of logic, you didn't really love your ex-boyfriend either if you could so readily jump into bed with someone else SO SOON after the break up.

The only thing that truly HURTS you is the fact that your ex-boyfriend is not kissing your irrational, self-absorbed butt anymore. Get over it and move on. Find yourself another man to pussy-whip. After all, that's what gets your juices flowing.

Maybe you can keep the next man a little longer, but I doubt it. You're not going to be able to snag the young and naive ones for much longer. As men grow older, they grow wiser and no amount of booty is going to overpower their own sense of self-preservation for very long. Until you change your self-centered ways, the men in your life will run from you as fast as they can and thank their lucky stars for their fateful escape.

re
sadly this man let me 'pussy' whip him. I need a man who will be a bit more of a challenge next time i guess and put me in my place...keep me on my toes, not call when he says he will, etc...whatever. I hate to say it but i feel like I do need to date someone right now just because my ex said he is...

The upper hand


Yep. You need to find a man with some self-respect that you can't tear to shreds. Meow-Hiss. Stop by for some coffee. We'll talk about your need to always have the "upper hand" in a relationship.

re
i have just never had someone break up with me and then not talk about what went wrong and why. I hadnt talked to him in 2 and a half weeks when i talked to him this past wednesday for the first time. After he told me he was dating someone (but still loves me), I told him that i slept with my ex. As soon as i said that he was like, you are so f*cking stupid. Then when we briefly talked on the phone he asked if i still love my ex, i said yes, he said F*ck off and hung up on me. I called back, he called me a psycho and a nutcase and told me to never call him again (no problem). If he is so happy with his hot model, why would he be so upset about what i've done?

What good would it do?


What good is talking when you never listen? Your communication skills suck. Do you agree or not?

Yes or no: You promised not to get ballistic about his past anymore and you broke your promise.

Yes or no??????

How many times did you think you could verbally abuse him over something he could not change before he figured out that you would never stop hurting him?

What went wrong? You know what went wrong. Stop playing the role of hurt and naive. Stop playing dumb. [Unless you are dumb. But, I doubt that you lack intelligence; you are simply willfully blind to the facts because you want everything to be his fault and nothing to be your fault. Yes or no?]




How wonderfully hurtful of you again.

Yes or no: You wanted to hurt him; you wanted him to know how insignificant he was to you; you wanted to cause him pain for breaking up with you. You, you, you....self-centered you.




Yes or no: You told your ex-boyfriend that you loved him. Right?

Yes or no: You told your ex-boyfriend that you still loved your (almost) ex-husband so you could hurt him and make him feel insignificant--you wanted him to believe that you didn't really love him after all because you were still in love with your ex. Yes or no?????

How can you pretend to feel hurt because he hung up on you after what you said to him?

When are you going to grow up? I'm glad your boyfriend hung up on you. He shouldn't waste any more of his time on you.

Give us one reason why he should ever want to talk to you again!



Well, aren't you a self-centered, hurtful, verbally-abusive nutcase who is trying to drive him insane?

Please do as he asks--never call him again. That poor man needs to put a lot of distance between himself and you. He needs to find an adult woman who will respect him and appreciate him for the person he is now--instead of a childish female who delights herself in terrorizing him over things he did in his past that he can't change. Right????



He's probably more upset with himself more than anything else for allowing himself to be sucked into your hurtful, sick, childish, self-centered games.

But there you go again--you think you're the best he ever had and you can't understand why he wouldn't want to be around you. OMG.

Okay mchalel, do you have the slightest clue what has been said to you. I would like to see if you are capable of engaging in effective communication.

Take a sip of coffee, ponder the above, and respond!!!!!

re
I UNDERSTAND that I have done childish things and said hurtful things. However if he is dating someone else (who he met a week and a half after we broke up) then i am GLAD i said those hurtful things. Most people do not date someone a year, then a week and a half are just back in the game again meeting women and telling their ex about it. I NEVER would have told of the incident with my ex, but when he told me he was dating a model i was like, well of course i'm going to tell him what i did. I didnt want him thinking he coulud tell me he's dating someone else and that i'm just pining over him. When he did say he was dating someone else, I said, well i guess i do feel hurt that you are so quickly seeing someone. He was like, well you shouldnt be, it's not serious, then added in that he still loves me and thinks about me a lot. I asked, well why are you dating someone else then. He just said, why not. I felt myself getting more and more mad that he was claiming to be dating someone else so soon after me that i just burst and thought, well he is obviosly trying to hurt me by telling me he's seeing someone else so i'm going to hurt him back.

Mission accomplished.


Mission accomplished! You should be proud of yourself. Are you?

re
No i cant say i'm proud, but i guess i feel better that I did sleep with my ex husband and have been talking to him every day since it happened if my most recent ex was going to meet someone else a week and a half after we broke up.