The Official Semen Thread

hahaha! You got that right! How did you know, Region? ... Seriously... do I know you? Are you somebody I work with? All my friends and coworkers are trying to hook me up because I'm always whining pathetically about not gettin any! Oh my God... are you my boss?
(Did you ever suddenly get paranoid because someone on a message board says something that makes you wonder if they know who you are?) ~ Well I never do! Not me... nope, never! Yikes.
Oh well! I know who your lovely woman is, but I don't know her, so you probably don't know me, but you sure pegged me right!
I am in quite a state, obviously! I have never in my adult life gone so long "without". The last time I was single I was a lot younger and cuter and probably sluttier. As my ex said, I'm too old to be a slut and now would be considered an old whore, and who wants to be that? So instead of picking up a guy, I have to wait for someone to pick me up. So far the only ones who've tried have been not at all my type, and I'm not that picky. But it's Thirsty Thursday tomorrow, and that's the night I go out a'whorin, so ya never know. I may get lucky. Sigh.
In the meantime, I'll have to settle for getting my fill of semen by reading about it! AAaAGGGHHHH!!!!!!
So there, now you know more about me than you ever wanted to know!
hey, Slappy, good poem! your mother would be proud!

I don't know where you are, drom, but I am very thankful that McDonald's doesn't have banana milkshakes where I live.

I have a new product invention. Bottle a semen-like substance, white, sticky, smells like Richard Simmon's breath...called, "I Can't Believe It's Not Man Mayo."

Don't know what it'll be used for yet.

I have a feeling Gus could give you some ideas, Slap!

Jeez, Gus, I hope I haven't ruined your thread with my horny, paranoic ramblings...

Well, Suzy, on the same sort of kind of topic, I keep thinking slappy knows who I am in real life.

haha! It's weird, huh? Especially when it's Slappy

Lil K....fantasizing about an image of Dr. Evil doesn't mean you know me in real life, you know!

nono, I don't know you in real life, but sometimes I think you know me.

I am guessing, since I know bunches of us on a2k, that I am the only one here who had as a job to hand little plastic cups to men and ask them to ejaculate in it. Yah, I was a lab tech, and that was in the relatively short but very interesting time I was a tech at a clinlab on Bedford Drive in Beverly Hills. Yes, it's me who avoided taking the vdrls from a famous couple and let Marilyn do it.

If I ever expressed fear to Marilyn, she said, Osso, she said, "that's not lab". Marilyn was cool. I didn't do Jim Morrison et mate, she did. But I gathered my savoir faire for others.

Gus
Gus:

I read your movie theater story with interest. One question, however. If one of those carefully-aimed globs of mayo lands in someone's mouth, should the recipient thereof spit it out or swallow? It's just a technical question, but count me among the curious.

I await your wise and thoughtful response.

Debra

Debra!

A girl wants to know


Well...don't you want to know too? Gus...hurry....we're anticipating your response!

Hahahaha!!!!!!!!

That is an excellent question, Debra. That question has caused heated debate between the spitters and swallowers for generations.

Perhaps the foremost expert on this subject is Moosehead Cholak. (pictured below)



Moosehead's contention was to always swallow in a crowded porno movie theater because of the danger of striking someone in the shins with an errant spit.

But again, that is only one man's opinion. I myself am torn on this matter.

I would like to thank you again, Debra, for bringing this thought-provoking question to the semen thread.

This is how we learn.

Very interesting, to say the least. It's threads like these that keep me coming back for more.

Well done Gus ;-)

i know bcos:

we've never met...
impossible...
i wish!! :wink:
lucky guess... now i must go and rest -- i'm exhausted from getting all these dern quotes to come out right.

Knock off the idle chatter, Region.

We're talking semen here.

Semen makes excellent, cheap spackle. My blender is currently held together by dry semen. Thankfully for my clients, the blender is for personal use only. For them, I use the food processer.

What do hookers and the Bermuda Triangle have in common? They both suck seamen (sic).

that is sic...

. I never before thought that there could be a class in 'practical uses of semen, in the workplace and at home.'





I am fascinated about this expert, Gus. Do you know him well?