My husband won't give up porn !!

LOL! I am taking a break and I'm only keep track of this one because I need to make myself clear. Can't have my words being twisted ;-)

Are they pretty beads?

Awwww shucks!!! <kicks a bit of dirt>

Oh oh, I'm in trouble now! I'm suppose to be taking a break and people keep finding me on the porn thread . I must be a porn addict, LOL!

Ok, Eva, I'll stop into the wine cellar for a quick drink, but then I have to go paint the trim in my bathroom ;-)

I'm beginning to think you're a porn thread addict, M. Here, have another drink.

Hey Montana - I really do need to clarify something in my posts concerning porn. When I said that demanding your partner not look at porn - was a controlling behavior, I truely didn't mean you. And here's why.

In your case you already know that you can not live with a partner that looks at porn. If and when you find a man you would like to spend time with - I know you will let him understand from the get-go that porn is not something you will tolerate. That it is something you can NOT live with. If he accepts that ....... as far as I am concerned, you have every right to expect him to live up to those standards and not look at porn. If he does look at it - you have every right to either give him the boot - or an ultimatum. That's not controlling at all.

My statement was geared more towards women that make porn an issue after the relationship is already in force. Then - demands made upon a partner can be wrong. I think at that point - you have to sit down and talk it through. Find a middle ground. Or better yet - that person will have a very respectful partner that would not want to hurt the other - and give it up altogether. A peaceful resolution always works best - if it is achievable. Whereby "demands" can spark stubborness and the attitude that, hey "you can't tell me what to do." Thereby it creates a controlling atmosphere.

Anyways .......all of that aside. I think women that do not like porn are probably of the majority. Those of us that think it's no big deal if used in moderation - the minority. But either way - it's a personal issue and whatever ones views are in the matter - they should be respected.

Even though my views on porn are perhaps more liberal - I still feel empathy for those that are suffering in their relationships because of it. And that in itself - gives me the feeling of "wanting" their mate to understand them and do whatever needs to be done to bring harmony back. After all - isn't that what love is?

You're a pretty smart cookie, Montana. :wink: I love your strong will concerning things that are important to you. Never STOP fighting for those things.

I hope you all don't mind that I've started referring to my Charlie's Angels action figurine set as Montana, Eva, and Brooke. As it didn't come with a Bosley, I've substituted a Dr. Evil doll. I, of course, am Charlie.

Oh my. That sounds pretty kinky, cj.

In which case - you can count me in.

No, of course I don't mind....as long as I can be Farrah. I have the hair for it, you know. :wink:

Brooke
Sounds fair to me. Of course I would let any future partners know where I stand on this issue and they can take me or leave me.

You're such a doll, Brooke ;-)


CJ
I'd love to be one of your angels, but only if I can be Jaquline Smith.

Just think if men would be in our shoes for one day......then you will understand your women. It hurts...big time. I blame whoever started porn...shame on you...dame to hell for sure. Sexual pleasures is suppose to be pure and secret between each other. At least that's what I heard in the marriage commitment between God and the both of you. These people who do Porn don't even care about the people...they are just selfish wanting fame and fortune. You should love your woman for who they really are. Remember guys...the women in the magazines won't love you back. The woman who you sleep beside....loves you back. You will never know you may loose your greatest woman of your life.

Its a kind of sickness of mind. or he searching pleasure over these crap things.
Some How he feel not enough satisfied what he have and getting day by day.
Or it became his habit of lie again and again.

you can try:

*Make him realize he is doing things that destroying his and his wife's life.
*Accept with how he is.
*Make deals with serious discuss.(less effective if he is counter lair)
*Try to understand why he is doing that.and take step
*Talk to a Psychiatric / hypnotist regarding how to destroy this very thoughts from his mind.

Porn is emotional cheating, especially if his sex drive is being spent on it, and not the marriage.
Clearly this guy isn't making any effort to better his sex life with his wife or marriage.
What bothers me more is that he probably doesn't even realise what he's doing to his wife.

Best of wishes to you mommaprude!