I want to be the bride of Gustafratzenhofer

overheard on Gus's wedding night
"Oh, sweet mystery of life"

Alright gals, put up your dukes! I have first dibs on Gus. Unbeknownst to the rest of you, we have decided a prenup that makes allowances for emus, sheep, bunnies, and various and sundry other wildlife. I had suggested chimps and cheetahs, but out of respect for me, Gus passed that suggestion by.

I believe in giving my man a looong rope!

... note "mystery" is mispelled.

I believe in giving a man velvet handcuffs.

How's this for a wedding gift? Carved it all by myself. Great likeness, huh. Looks just like Gus, when he is in a pensive mood!

you call that pensive? looks more like Gus in the "afterglow" of orgasm (he said retreating back into the darkness)

And you would know this how, Dys?

'At's a mystery, all right.

jespah, you may be off the hook for jespah of the peace duty. gus has a real close friend who is a snake handler/marryier of couples.

kicky, theonly thing evil would be if you decline my offer to be in the bridal party.

dlowan, talk that way in front of gus and he'll think your inusulting him.

cinnesthesia, gus's sister, who is moving out, wants to kow if she can get some lo real maravilloso at Wal-Mart.

phoenix, goodness, prenuptual in swamp-talk means blue-light special at K-Mart, you've now led gus to believe he can get all those animals at their going out of business sale. imagine how traumatized he was when he got there only to find what was left on the shelves were Martha Stewart linens. i hope you're happy.

dyslexia knows what gus looks like post-inflagrante delicto cause he is his son.

squinney, how could you? you have your own gus in bi-polar bear. this is a greedy side of you i've never seen before.

Never, in all my years have I read such an accurate description of myself. I read those words by Heeven and looked around, nervously. I strode to the window and glanced outside, sure that she was watching me.

How does she know what I look like, this heathen heeven?

These are troubling times.

First my tractor breaks down and now I am being outed by a psychic emu!

It's a crazy world.

hi gussie, you're looking swell.

Oh, hi there, Gala. You're not looking too bad yourself. Of course I've always had a thing for little white rectangles.

I'm under the bed.

Was that your bony proboscis gently massaging my posterior through the thin mattress all night long?

Oh my, TMI

Sorry you had to stumble into this thread, Jespah.

I didn't want to see you get hurt.

I'll, I'll be okay. I told antibiotics before posting.

I had to take them after ...

Gala,

Sorry for appearing greedy. Let me explain.

See, I grew up on a farm. Not sure if it's the overalls, or the rake handle, but there is just something perverse... .... I mean perturbing...protruding, Oh, gosh, I can't think of the right word to describe Gus, but there is SOMETHING there that just gets me to feeling like a filly that's been rode hard and put up wet. Fond childhood memories, that's all.

I'm a little bit country. Bear's a little bit rock and roll. We make a nice duet, though. so have a blessed life with Gus and the goat. You all have my best wishes.

Got me some fried green mators and sweet potato pie ready for the occasion.